my ultimate doom playthrough with commentary (need feedback)

[cambreaKer]

So i have made an ultimate doom video where i play through e1m1-e1m3 with my commentary, i'm planning to do a series where i play through the entire game and i'm looking for feedback.

 

Edited February 2, 2020 by cambreaKer

[cambreaKer]

some feedback would be pretty cool, also should i make a series out of this?

[incel]

There are 3 major type of "playthroughs":

 

• walkthroughs – complete runs with no commentary;

• play-alongs – friendly chat with "celebrities";

• study courses – insight look into the game;

 

This video doesn't fit in either category – who's it for?

 

I'd recommended to find a niche to occupy.

[baja blast rd.]

Jotting down feedback:

 

e1m1:

 

- The breathing on the microphone is very strong and offputting. 
- Bluntly, it doesn't seem like much of this commentary of value: you talked about the source port and that it's nice and you test levels in it. Then there's a meta segue that lasts a minute where you essentially say: "I'm going to be making videos." You went through all of e1m1 and didn't comment on the map, or on context surrounding it, or even on Doom. If I wasn't offering feedback, I'd stop here. 

 

e1m2: 

 

- You're talking about your mic and computer now. Finally with "let's go for the chaingun right there," it's your first commentary about the maps -- I'd recommend a lot more of that. 
- You apologize for the pops. I'm glad you did and are aware of it. I'd really emphasize fixing that. No other commentator does that. 
- The chaingun's tapping ability is a fine topic but it'd be ideal to demonstrate that while fighting monsters -- preferably distant ones that show off the ability in its element. Shooting the wall isn't as good, especially if you don't fire an extended, untapped burst as visual contrast. 
- There's yet more talking about you and you making the video! ;)

 

I have a feeling I'm going to be repeating myself a lot if I keep this up, so I'll listen while typing up the rest: 

 

My advice would be to choose an approach that allows you to say stuff of substance about what you are playing. Entertaining YT'ers -- even less entertaining ones -- tend to do this implicitly. There are numerous ways to tackle that, for example: 

 

- Some videomakers provide strategy and tactics as they play (e.g. Decino, Dwars, BigMacDavis).
- Some are more geared towards mapping feedback for creators (e.g. HAK3180).
- Some know a fair deal of Doom history and interpret maps through a more artistic lens (e.g. Ella Guro). 

 

Doom 1 has been played so often by now, and Episode 1 is fairly easy for most, including you by the looks of it. So odds are talking about 'how to beat it' might seem insincere unless you add an extra challenge: -fast or NM or speedruns. You can also choose a mapset that is challenging enough for you on UV. 

 

The other two approaches require a healthy backing of Doom education. You might have to do research and hash out talking points beforehand. This is especially true of Knee Deep in the Dead, which has a wealth of knowledge and lore surrounding it, and a lot of firsthand wisdom passed down from the very creators, making expectations accordingly high. 

 

Anyway, when you finally got around to focusing more on what you were playing, the commentary remained formless. You were trying to say a lot of catchy and entertaining things, but the commentary clearly lacked a skeleton -- a goal, a frame, a purpose. What do you want the viewer to learn, to experience? Contrary to your excuse, English isn't your problem. You are perfectly understandable. 

 

More generally, some of the attempts at cleverness felt hostile and abrasive, rather than charming. Be yourself. And if you don't have anything to say, it's okay to be silent. Not all Let's Players chat nonstop, or should. I noticed much less mic popping in the back half, which is good. 

Edited February 4, 2020 by rdwpa

[Asking4Id]

I might be in the minority but I dislike 100% secrets playthroughs, because I want to discover the secrets for myself. Some people are willing to make videos without secrets, some aren't.

[cambreaKer]

Just now, Asking4Id said:

I might be in the minority but I dislike 100% secrets playthroughs, because I want to discover the secrets for myself. Some people are willing to make videos without secrets, some aren't.

well i'm not really doing a 100% secrets playthrough, since i still don't know some of the secrets in all of the maps.

 

5 hours ago, rdwpa said:

a lot of feedback

thanks for the feedback, i will try to improve the next time i do that kind of video.