Struggling with everything mapping related

[Breezeep]

I don't mean to make a thread entirely about beating my self up over my broken brain not giving me a creative output when I want there to be one, but lately I've been feeling like I want to make something doom related but I simply cannot bring myself to do it. And when I try to get myself to do it, nothing comes out, I literally cannot even draw a simple room that I feel good about. People have been telling me that my creativity will come in certain periods, but I have been feeling completely creatively and inspirationally bankrupt for MONTHS now. It's really frustrating because I see everyone else make shit on a whim and here I am giving myself shit asking "why the fuck do I struggle so much with something so SIMPLE?" over and over again. It just never fucking stops and I'm sick of it. I want to be able to contribute worthwhile stuff to this community and to make a name for myself on this site. But on top of life being a total fucking bitch and my defective mind it'll just keep happening.

 

I sincerely apologize if it looks like I am making this thread purely for attention, but I am tired of feeling tired all the fucking time and having no creative output whatsoever. I just want to feel normal for a change.

[TheDoorMatt]

I kinda feel a similar way about this thing... XD

I get the feeling of "Yea, that would be a GREAT doom map! with (monster) here, and when (entity) steps there... YEA, IT'LL BE AWESOME!!!" and then a few moments later, if I'm lucky then a room with textures later; "Man, I know what I want to make but... groan This sucks! I WANT MY DOOM MAP NOW!!!" Yet I am a slow and methodical person, as well as more new to mapping. Try and hang in there man. I recommend keeping those bad maps just in case they turn out to be good later on (or for inspiration). Eventually something will hit you, wether or not it is a doom map is worth the wait to find out!

[Kappes Buur]

Anxiety due to the mapping process usually stems from not knowing, either

1. how to use the editor effectively
2. getting your ideas for a map straight

The first one is simple. Read as much as you can about the DOOM environment.

My first and foremost tutorials were The Unofficial WAD Designers' Handbook, Release 2.1

and  Doom Builder: An Illustrated Guide

 

The second thing to do is to load PWADS by others into an editor and see how the maps

were constructed. Also, drawing the maps on paper first seems to help quite a few people.

 

Practice makes perfect. Have fun with it.

[Alper002]

This is something I've experienced as well. This may or may not be burnout, and you might be better off taking a break from trying to map if you're sure of that. You could also try to map in ways you haven't, whether it's basing a map off of another map or other such silly things. If you do feel the need to take a break, I recommend trying/playing/watching/reading things you haven't, as those new experiences can give the inspiration you need to start mapping again.

[Nine Inch Heels]

1 hour ago, Breezeep said:

I want to be able to contribute worthwhile stuff to this community and to make a name for myself on this site.

Maybe mapping just isn't the thing for that in your case? There's lots of stuff you could do, that people would still be happy to have, from tutorials, to keeping to wiki up to date, to map reviews. It's not like mapping is the only thing people will appreciate around here as far as I can tell, and if you're mapping with the idea to make a name for yourself, or something similar: Don't. Mapping is supposed to be something you enjoy doing, because that's when things come together. If you don't like what you're doing, for one reason or another, leave it be. And if it's just a phase even one that lasts a few months at that, leave it be during that phase instead of wasting time and energy on trying to convince yourself how "worthless" you are.

Edited March 26, 2020 by Nine Inch Heels

[holaareola]

27 minutes ago, Breezeep said:

...I want to be able to contribute worthwhile stuff to this community and to make a name for myself on this site. But on top of life being a total fucking bitch and my defective mind it'll just keep happening...

 

... It's really frustrating because I see everyone else make shit on a whim and here I am giving myself shit asking "why the fuck do I struggle so much with something so SIMPLE?" over and over again ...

 

 

I think you are approaching this from the wrong angle.  Making worthwhile stuff for the community and making a name for yourself are goals. Between where you are now and where you want to be lies a huge lake of effort and practice, most of which is not going to feel like success.   Enjoy it for itself with the endpoint a lesser focus. Don't be supercritical, at least not in the early stages, it'll only jam you up even more. Stress does not conduce to creativity. 

 

As for the latter part, I don't think it's healthy but I have the same thing. I'm happy with some of the stuff I've done, but I feel the quality is really variable and I'm probably just less of a creative person than some of the people I compare myself to for whom it seems every idea rides out on top of three others.  Not much I can do about that. I just try to relax and enjoy the process, accepting that sifting for the good ideas is going to take me a lot longer than it does them.

[RonnieJamesDiner]

In the past, I've found that consistent exercise is very effective in overcoming "creative and inspirational bankruptcy". Even just a long walk every day, can have tremendous impacts. A healthy body can lead to a clear and healthy mind, and that can be all it takes to open your creative floodgates again. 

[Urthar]

Finding the inspiration that unlocks your creativity can be tough. I once watched a documentary about architect Zaha Hadid, where she spoke of how it was one of the hardest things for her students to achieve. She had found her's in Russian Suprematist art, and incorporated it's styles into her work.

 

And I think that finding something related to, but outside what you want to create, is one possible key. For me that was seeing stuff in Dark Forces and Quake and thinking, 'can I do that in Doom?' So my advice would be go play something else, go look at other things, may be you'll find something that excites you.

 

But don't beat yourself over it. I've heard it said that level design has one of the highest rates of burn out in the industry, and you sound burnt out right now. Take it easy.

 

P.S. You already have made a name for yourself as far as I'm concerned.

Edited March 26, 2020 by Urthar

[Fonze]

1 hour ago, Breezeep said:

I want to be able to contribute worthwhile stuff to this community and to make a name for myself on this site.

 

You already have contributed many worthwhile maps and stuffs to this community and your name has already been cemented (at least for me) as a talented mapper to look out for and a source of study/inspiration for me. I love the designs of the maps you've made from the way they flow to even just looking at the automap and seeing the line work. 

 

I wish I had something inspirational to say to you for this, as it's sad to hear a mapper who's work I respect feel so down on themselves, and I've felt that way for the last couple years as well while struggling with depression, but I think in your case it would be good to take a short step back and take stock of the fact that at the very least you've already done what you've set out to achieve.

 

I find that for myself, I seem to have been able to find more inspiration as I've worked through my inner demons, maybe as you continue to advance yourself in life in general you'll find your muse again. Much <3 give it time :)

Edited March 26, 2020 by Fonze

[valkiriforce]

I recall you saying in another thread that you have really high standards when it comes to mapping, and I believe it based on at least a couple of maps I've played from you. I guess the question I'd ask from this is what would you consider on a list of your personal inspirations when it comes to creating Doom maps?

 

One of the other fun things I like to do besides playing Doom maps and creating them is making lists of either mapsets or authors that have inspired me in some way and just looking through all the different works, be it map titles, interesting layouts, unique theme settings or specific goal-based maps (Alien Vendetta MAP11 - start by the ocean, work through a cave crawl section, penetrate a marble fortress atop some cliffs, etc.) For me it can be a lot of fun playing around with various ideas, and it sometimes comes out as a list of map titles that are not connected to any specific ideas, or just playing around with sky graphics or looking at existing ones and wondering if there's anything I can come up with that could fit one of them. Out of a list of possible map titles or mapsets there's bound to be at least a few ideas that can be realized if it entertains me enough, and I think that's one of the most important things about mapping. Think about what you wish you could play if it doesn't already exist, or ideas that place you in a setting you'd really like to imagine yourself running around in. It's like coming up with your own little gymnasium or obstacle course within Doom's gameplay context, and for me it's similar to playing with Legos growing up and just trying to create my own little metropolis out of what's available. It's the "play" factor that makes the experience translate so well for other players.

 

Another fun idea is just toying around with layouts - there are times I can get an idea of how I want a map to appear if you were looking at the automap or the placement of traps, twisting stairways, ledges and windows. Other times I'll just go with a silly idea like Reverie MAP06, where I wanted to make a map layout that looks like a sledgehammer (hence the map's title). I was kind of inspired by Ghost Town from Plutonia to do a completely diagonal layout for Reverie MAP28, but the map itself is themed completely differently as set in metal and sewer areas. I think of all things map layouts actually inspire me the most with just thinking of how to draw lines and how to fill the empty spaces in between with more lines.

 

Sometimes I like to think in terms of coming up with my own branding; how can I come up with something that feels unique and blends some of my favorite elements? With wads like Memento Mori, Scythe, Hell Revealed, Valiant, Ancient Aliens, Speed of Doom, Eviternity, Plutonia - all of those have specific settings that set each other apart, and there are maps that just feel like they fit well either in a Plutonia-themed mapset, or Hell Revealed, or something else. Part of the fun for me is trying to come up with my own kind of branding by having an interesting title for a map or mapset and try to discover what the character and personality of that name encompasses. For Akeldama I felt that it was something sinister while brooding an atmosphere of danger at the end of times. It also works for me as a blend of Memento Mori and Alien Vendetta, and I sort of reflected that in the maps I created for the mapset. I tried to keep some maps shorter in experience while others were more sprawling/adventurous while exercising some level of restraint on how open and detailed it was, being a vanilla mapset. I wanted to create a fusion of my favorite experiences from both of them while setting them under a unique atmosphere with the new sky textures (exploring snow-themed maps, or a night panorama with fields on fire).

 

The best thing for you to do I think would be to try and place yourself in a position to play with anything related to Doom - you don't have to force the ideas to happen, in fact most often I find they're more likely to come to you when you're not looking too hard for them. Going for a walk, or a bike ride, or just relaxing on your bed is a nice way to encourage yourself to relax and not strain for map ideas. These days I feel more inclined to take my time working on a map rather than rushing it through the door, as I used to try and make maps quickly sometimes over a few days. I know it may seem preferable to get it out within a smaller time frame but it's honestly okay to just give yourself the time to realize what you want the map to look like and how it plays.

 

So in short, try to work from a place of play, and not work for work's sake. If you become too anxious when working on a map, you should take a break and unwind again. Doing a little each day is better than having nothing at all - and yeah, maybe some ideas aren't always cut out to work, that's why making lists, drawings or playing Doom wads or whatever it is that best fits your creativity can be a way to stem your passion for it. The passion you have for your own Doom maps will speak for itself and will likely please somebody.

[Obsidian]

Echoing what NIH said here: mapping should first and foremost be something that you do because you enjoy doing it. Mapping (like all artistic mediums) is a form of self-expression and divorcing the self from the process either produces no work or work that no party enjoys. It's very easy to get caught up in Magnum Opus Syndrome and obsess over the quality of your work, but by that point you're mapping for a hypothetical entity instead of yourself: some faceless public that demand perfection and will never be happy with what they receive. If you work in constant fear of this entity, it's going to affect the end result and you'll never get the creative fulfillment that this medium makes attainable.

 

There's already been some good suggestions in this thread, so I'll just add this: don't be afraid of failure. Make shitty speedmaps! Map around janky ideas that don't quite work! Make questionable design choices! So long as it's for you and not anyone else, only good can come of it: take it from someone who's done all of those things. :P

[Havoc Crow]

I honestly don't know if this will help, or if I have even understood your problem correctly, but there's one thing that helped me get past my creative anxieties recently.

 

I used to feel overwhelmed by any problem that wasn't trivial. Whether writing a science paper, or making a Doom map, or writing a story or whatever. I'd go in and then five minutes later I'd be like, "Oooh, I have no idea where even to begin! All my ideas suck!"

 

I learned to get past that by trusting my brain. That is, I tell myself: "Yeah, I have no idea what to do now, but if I focus on this long enough, I am sure to come up with something good. My first attempt is going to suck, my second attempt won't be much better, and that's perfectly normal. That's what my brain needs to get revved up. Once it does get revved up, it will come up with something good."

 

Another thing I've noticed is that I seem to think better away from the computer. I often struggle to come up with something creative while I'm sitting down at the PC, but once I go for a walk or sit on the bed with nothing but a few blank papers and a pen to jot down my thoughts, something seems to get unlocked in my head.

 

Finally, two principles that help me get past my blockades: don't be afraid to brainstorm (that is, give a chance to any idea, even those which seem dumb from the outset); and don't get stuck in a single rut of thinking (e.g. if you're trying to design the monster encounters in a certain area in your map, and nothing seems to work satisfactorily, maybe step back and think if you can't remake this area completely. Maybe you're working from the assumption that a certain wall has to be there, because it's been there since the start of the mapping process, but what if you removed it? Maybe you've already decided that a certain area has to be an underground maze, because that's how you originally conceived it, but what if it was an outdoors arena instead? What if the player start was somewhere else entirely than you originally planned?)

 

I've typed this all out in a rush so it may come across as rambling, but hopefully it may help someone.

Edited March 26, 2020 by JudgeDeadd

[Pegleg]

Let's assume that your malaise is due to Doom mapping. I have absolutely no qualification to comment on anything deeper than that, so if you think it runs deeper than just ambivalence toward Doom mapping brought on by a lack of creative inspiration, then look into getting some help from someone actually qualified to give it. But for now, let's assume that your feelings are just due to Doom mapping and proceed from there.

****************************************************************************************************************************

 

When I first read your post, I had a hard time believing that you were the one writing it. From what I've seen, you've contributed a lot of good work to a wide variety of projects over the years. And I've watched streams where I've heard people say, "Yes, this is definitely a Breezeep map!" You don't get that way without having made a name for yourself. Perhaps you mean that you're having difficulty lately, and that's perfectly possible, but I personally don't think you should imply that you have not contributed worthwhile maps to the community and made a name for yourself.

 

2 hours ago, Breezeep said:

I don't mean to make a thread entirely about beating my self up over my broken brain not giving me a creative output when I want there to be one, but lately I've been feeling like I want to make something doom related but I simply cannot bring myself to do it. And when I try to get myself to do it, nothing comes out, I literally cannot even draw a simple room that I feel good about.

 

There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with you. If you finding mapping to be difficult or you're not enjoying yourself, just take a break. Do something else that you enjoy. Do it for a day, a week, a month, or as long as it takes for you to find some inspiration to make something.

 

2 hours ago, Breezeep said:

People have been telling me that my creativity will come in certain periods, but I have been feeling completely creatively and inspirationally bankrupt for MONTHS now. It's really frustrating because I see everyone else make shit on a whim and here I am giving myself shit asking "why the fuck do I struggle so much with something so SIMPLE?" over and over again. It just never fucking stops and I'm sick of it. I want to be able to contribute worthwhile stuff to this community and to make a name for myself on this site. But on top of life being a total fucking bitch and my defective mind it'll just keep happening.

 

I agree with you that it can be aggravating to watch some people seemingly churn out material. But for each of them that can do that, there's probably another 10 that are sitting in a similar position of wondering, "Why can't I do that?" and not getting anything done. You don't have to fit into the camp of "I can churn out legendary stuff every day" to be able to contribute solid, worthwhile maps, either to your own projects or to other people's projects.

 

Also, creativity doesn't always work on a set schedule. Shania Twain has said that prior to arriving in Nashville, she would write a song when she felt inspired, so it was a completely foreign concept to her to sit in a room with a team of song writers and have it stated that (I'm paraphrasing) "today, we are going to write three songs." The difference between you making Doom maps and her writing songs is that this is a hobby while that was a job. When it comes to Doom maps, if it's not coming, don't force it. If you do, you'll just end up resenting this hobby that should be fun.

 

2 hours ago, Breezeep said:

I sincerely apologize if it looks like I am making this thread purely for attention, but I am tired of feeling tired all the fucking time and having no creative output whatsoever. I just want to feel normal for a change.

 

Burnout is real. Let's admit that. In my opinion, as I said, if you force yourself to try to make maps when there's nothing coming to you, you'll just end up feeling frustrated and resentful and you'll end up disliking the very process of trying to make a map. And if you do that, you'll very like stop, because why would you put yourself through torment and emotional pain for something that wasn't providing some sort of benefit to you.

 

You said you're tired, you have no creative output, and you just want to feel normal. If that is the case, close the editor, and go do something else. It doesn't matter what that something is, as long as it makes you happy (and is legal and not self-destructive). If your thoughts drift to mapping and you feel drained by the very thought of it, don't go back to it. Stay away from mapping as long as it takes for you to feel normal and not mentally drained and to feel inspired. This can be a week or a month or a year or multiple years. However long it takes is however long it takes. If and when you want to come back, the community will be here, whether you're mapping or not.

 

Once you feel some sort of spark of inspiration, take the opportunity to draw that. It doesn't have to perfect. It doesn't have to be polished. It doesn't even have to be more than a room. Don't feel that you have to be like the people on streams who can map continuously for hours and hours on end, several days a week. You neither are them nor do you have to be them. Just be you. Don't force yourself to map until you feel inspired to do so, and don't create any more than you feel inspired to make. Remember, enjoy yourself, and have fun. Making maps for Doom is a hobby and if it's not fun, then there's little reason to cause yourself anguish over it.

[Roofi]

I'm not the best person to say this, but you can't force it. When it doesn't come, it doesn't come . Your ideas will come back later.

 

What you're going through is a simple mapping block. it happens to everyone. Do something else, you'll waste less time.

 

For the past few months, I've been thinking I must make maps. If I don't have a lot of ideas, I look at other people's maps. My only goal is to finish what I started. If the map is cool, it's great. If it's bad, I don't care. 

Edited March 27, 2020 by Roofi

[elend]

Also don't underestimate this: Creativity is like breathing.

[Crunchynut44]

Over the past 2 weeks ive made 11 maps, the secret to the constant flow of creativity?

 

Beer.

 

I've been fairly inebriated whilst making every single one.

 

That's the key.

[Vorpal]

15 hours ago, Breezeep said:

 It's really frustrating because I see everyone else make shit on a whim and here I am giving myself shit asking "why the fuck do I struggle so much with something so SIMPLE?" over and over again.

 

My theory is that only a tiny, tiny minority of mappers are really able to churn out something decent quality, quickly. The rest are putting on a show, and are spending 10x as much time on a map than they are claiming, perhaps out of embarrassment for taking "too long" or who knows.

 

Certainly your struggle with creativity is shared by most mappers/creators of any sort.

 

Advice is tough because it's not like I have a winning formula (am in the same situation currently). But:

1. Don't be afraid to make garbage. Not everything can nor should be a Magnum Opus. Making garbage at least lets you go through the motions and "get the bad ideas out" if that makes any sense (when a bad idea wont leave you alone until you get it implemented in the map).

2. Ritualize a time of the day when there will be a minimum of distractions, mebbe start with just a 30 minute block where you HAVE to do something in the editor even if it's just spending 30 minutes on which button texture to use.

[The_SloVinator]

I'll keep this short as possible.

I had this issue & still have from time to time.

 

Here are my tips:

 

- Lower your standards, especially if you are a beginner.

- Don't compare yourself to highly experienced mappers.

- Think of a theme of your map or wad. (classic, atmosphere, smaller maps... etc)

- Don't force yourself.

- Don't map for recognition or you'll feel stressed out.

- Draw maps on paper if that helps.

- Mapping takes time. Keep that in mind.

- Don't give up because you never know.

 

Give them a try.

 

 

[elend]

Recently I've been listening to some art related podcasts and most of the things they talk about can be used as Doom mapping advice as well. So, check it out maybe, especially if you're into drawing as well. 

 

 

[Aurelius]

To add to what elend said, listening to people talk about something even vaguely interesting can take your mind off some of that stress. I remember listening to a lot of Stephen King talks while mapping, and it somehow made everything flow much better - even if it was unrelated. Sometimes your mind can be easily occupied by too many things at once, and it hinders your mapping flow when you can't pinpoint exactly what it is that you want to do. Having something to divide your attention might actually help you find focus (as paradoxical as it might sound). 

[Firedust]

Begin by murdering your inner perfectionist with a heavy blunt object.

[ValeriyPipick]

If you don't have creativity for mapping right now... Then just don't do it. According to my personal experience you can't get ideas out of the box - it just eventually comes in mind time to time.

Btw, i have absolute opposite situation - having lots of great ideas, but not enough time for realising them. 

[Misty]

What helped me during some bad case of mapping block is removing builder out of my sight... it took me few weeks to regain inspiration back, besides I had important things to do back then. Distance from mapping and Doom was worth in my case, I took my time to rethink about my approaches and ways of creating stuff, I've got plenty of ideas I wanted to execute. Not sure if this will be helpful, but I'd consider it and do something else meanwhile. 

[Jaska]

Some random thoughts which might help:
-A theme. Nature, city, space, void, mystery, tech, medieval, ...
-Figure out a start and ending point. Like, start from land level and climb on higher point (some kind of fortress, other structure, mountain, etc)
-Look pics from image search about architecture, nature, villages etc. which you prefer to.
-Pay attention to detail, everywhere.
-Overdetailing actually helped me to a some point to get going on actually meaningful stuff gameplaywise.
-Figure out a gameplay scenario.
-Try to think which kind of puzzle you would enjoy.
-Barrels
-Changing environment, lowering walls, rising nukage/water levels or lowering water level exposing way to go.. Light level changes.
-Shootable switches, destructible environment.
-Self set timelimit can help or be negative.
-Drawing on paper can help
-New textures
-Put a map you are stuck on to a pause.
-If using GZDoom, new monsters, scripting, new everything

Well I'm not all that sure if my approach is good or not, it has its good and bad points. If I have an idea which I can't be put on any current map in progress I put it in "ideas map".

It can be a single detail, some kind of bigger architectural theme, a puzzle or a gameplay scenario. This is handy because it doesn't limit the creativity at all. Problems arise when I'm putting a map together or trying to get thematically cohesive map. Sometimes a single idea just keeps sprawling and I cut that area from "ideas map" to a "real map". And if you run out of ideas on "actual map" go into "ideas map" if you have now a place for those random ideas or get a fresh perspective to old ones.

In Lost civilizations map20, 11 months ago:

I had many, many different ideas which I put together. It was a total mess at some point but I survived!

Also on same month:

10 months ago. Almost all parts are connected and main areas are done.

So the map WASN'T made like in 3 months. Many of the ideas were like 2-3 years old. They were in "ideas map" and maturing in my subconsiousness or something. Of course I made tons of new stuff to link all the pieces together. That "linking" can also get you to a creative mood. So you have two ideas and you have to connect them.

Same kind of mess was the forest map.

At last some parts were moved to totally other map and big parts were just created on the way.

Why I've had problems to continue.

-Thematically too cohesive vision. For example if you try to do realistic maps you just can't do layouts that break the illusion too much.
-Trying to get two or more ideas to a map which just don't match.
-Building a great architectural area but have no idea of the gameplay. Like map31 has multiple examples on Lost civilization.
-Too much complexity and/or nonlinearity
-Just pushing forward without any clear vision and struggling on that. Stop at this point and do something else for a while.
-I don't know if there are many people who can constantly be creative on one thing. And there is a limit how many times you can overcome your own best work at given time.

My progress on this month has been almost nonexistent. I should maybe get the whole picture of the mapset. It will be so interconnected that I'm not sure how it will play. Maybe I should draw a map. Well I did already, but better. I'm also thinking destructible environment to a large degree so I should learn ZScript. Somehow it is a big obstacle..

[Sir Hattington]

You just have to right click a lot.