Doomguy is now a millennial and has just become vegan. What are his ways of giving back to the planet?

[magicsofa]

He's not contributing anything, he's just "chillin hard"

[dew]

As always - by brutally beating up his commanding officer who ordered to fire into peaceful protesters. ACAB minus one.

[Egg Boy]

He destroys the mayonnaise industry! Oh the humanity! How are the Hellman’s bigwigs going to pay for another yacht now?

[1Destro3456]

He tries to tear down Nestlé, of course, that’s a good thing

[snapshot]

He spends most of his day retweeting tiktoks and playing candy crush

[Sunnyfruit]

10 hours ago, Agent Slacker said:

He kills the mortally challenged. It's okay as long as they're not being called a slur like d*mon.

 

He LIBERATES the mortally challenged. It's time to make Hell a democracy once again. Look at this 1955 photograph of two imps in bikini, before 3rd Lazarus Wave took over Hell's colleges.

[roadworx]

4 hours ago, Chip said:

I think those leaning more on the Gen Z side sometimes do. I remember hearing my cousin in her late 20s use it once. I imagine most Millenials in their 30s have never said it, though. 

i've literally never heard a single person my age (i'm gen z) or even a few years younger say "totes" outside of in an extremely mocking tone

 

2 hours ago, dew said:

As always - by brutally beating up his commanding officer who ordered to fire into peaceful protesters. ACAB minus one.

nah, they're still a bastard, they're just a bastard in critical condition lmao

 

Edited May 19, 2021 by roadworx

[Chip]

Gen Z slang. I am Gen Z and I can barely get through it.

Millennial word dictionary. this one has a few repeats from the Gen Z list.

I imagine Doomguy says "This slaps" a lot whenever he's at starbucks. 

[Stupid Bunny]

He tells all his friends about Hell and how undiscovered and cool it is. They move in and open artisan cupcake shops and gastropubs all over the city of Pandemonium. Hell’s ruined economy is revitalized but then all the demons can’t afford rent anymore and are forced to move to shitty places like MAP21. The House of Pain is now a record store that also sells bubble tea

Edited May 19, 2021 by StupidBunny

[roadworx]

12 minutes ago, Chip said:

Gen Z slang. I am Gen Z and I can barely get through it.

Millennial word dictionary. this one has a few repeats from the Gen Z list.

I imagine Doomguy says "This slaps" a lot whenever he's at starbucks. 

doomguy seems more like someone who'd guzzle down energy drinks than drink starbucks tbh

[yakfak]

9 minutes ago, StupidBunny said:

He tells all his friends about Hell and how undiscovered and cool it is. They move in and open artisan cupcake shops and gastropubs all over the city of Pandemonium. Hell’s ruined economy is revitalized but then all the demons can’t afford rent anymore and are forced to move to shitty places like MAP21. The House of Pain is now a record and bubble tea shop

 

giggle

 

they play Jump Around every hour on the hour but the rest of the time it's Mumford

[Deleted Account]

He's using instadoom all day of course

[magicsofa]

54 minutes ago, StupidBunny said:

all the demons can’t afford rent anymore and are forced to move to shitty places like MAP21

 

Ouch, too real. I thought this thread was supposed to be fun :(

[Malurek]

He voted for Joe Biden, and supports every protest, because, "that's what the kids are doing these days ".

[DynamiteKaitorn]

"DooM guy is now a millennial"

*cries in Zoomer*

 

I dunno... guess he'd probably plant tree's all day? Maybe protect cute little kitty cats that are lost and afraid? hard to say really... :l

[Kyka]

YOU BETTER NOT FUCK AROUND WITH THESE IDEAS IN THIS THREAD BECAUSE WHEN DISNEY BUYS THE RIGHTS TO DOOM, YOU KNOW EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WRITTEN HERE IS GONNA GET SUPER REAL AND WILL BECOME OFFICIAL DOOM CANON.

 

 

 

YOU ARE WARNED.

 

 

 

/not even sorry for caps

[Chip]

57 minutes ago, bLOCKbOYgAMES said:

WHEN DISNEY BUYS THE RIGHTS TO DOOM

When Disney buys the rights to DOOM they'll make him a quirky school kid who doesn't have any friends, who finds out he's actually a princess to the land of make-believe. He then will travel there on his pet Unicorn and sing love ballads.

[Kyka]

1 hour ago, Chip said:

When Disney buys the rights to DOOM they'll make him a quirky school kid who doesn't have any friends, who finds out he's actually a princess to the land of make-believe. He then will travel there on his pet Unicorn and sing love ballads.

 

 

Sad but true.

 

Equally sad but true: I've been on worse dates.

Edited May 20, 2021 by bLOCKbOYgAMES

[ReX]

Doomguy was, allegedly, last seen traveling incognito to the rain forests of Brazil. There, he intends to join forces with the indigenous peoples in their revolt against Big Beef and its relentless drive to tear down the forest canopy and create pasture lands for the cattle that will propagate their continued wealth.

 

In case you're wondering, his BFG9000 is the modular, dismantlable model. In other words, he's able to field strip it down, disguise the parts as components of his shaving kit, and carry it as checked luggage on his trip to Rio de Janeiro.

[Martin Howe]

He goes to a psychiatrist and says "I've gone insane, please help me!"