What Are The Worst Song Titles And Lyrics That You Know Of?

[DSC]

I was watching an YT video of a series focusing on career ending records, and that one in particular focused on the Spin Doctors second album. It opens up with a song called Big Fat Funky Booty. Yeah.

 

Do you have some good examples too?

[Mortrixs19]

 

I think this is the worst song by them lyrically. (Not bad, just gross)

[Somniac]

Anything by The Mission. They have some good tracks on their early albums, but my god the lyrics are atrocious. Absolute cheese....and not in the good way. 

[Doominator2]

 

 

This song has got some hilariously bad lyrics, stuff like "Bob your head like epilepsy", there's no way they weren't going this shit on purpose.

[Murdoch]

5 hours ago, DSC said:

I was watching an YT video of a series focusing on career ending records, and that one in particular focused on the Spin Doctors second album. It opens up with a song called Big Fat Funky Booty. Yeah.

 

Do you have some good examples too?

 

Todd in the Shadows perchance?

 

There are many examples but probably Drake is the worst recent example that pops to mind with this gem from "Toosie Slide". It went something like "left foot slide, right foot slide, basically I'm saying either way we bout to slide." It's almost like he wanted to really hammer home what a low effort song it was. 

[ducon]

The worst lyrics?

Spoiler

 

Or:

Spoiler

 

 

Both of them are French, so you might not be ashamed if ever you like the music.

Edited October 28, 2021 by ducon

[DSC]

36 minutes ago, Murdoch said:

Todd in the Shadows perchance?

That was exactly the one!

[Murdoch]

1 minute ago, DSC said:

That was exactly the one!

 

I like Todd. He has transitioned nicely away from "angry guy yelling about shitty music" to almost a kind of serious documentarian. 

[DSC]

1 minute ago, Murdoch said:

 

I like Todd. He has transitioned nicely away from "angry guy yelling about shitty music" to almost a kind of serious documentarian. 

He was a part of Channel Awesome IIRC. Thankfully, unlike a certain other member, he was able to grow. That other member, on the other hand, has actually made quite some juicy stuff for this thread in a so called "tribute" to the band in my profile pic, but out of respect for them, I'll refrain from linking to it.

[continuum.mid]

I don't listen to many songs with lyrics and the ones I do listen to tend to have fairly well thought out ones.

 

That said, Orbital once made a song that sampled Zardoz's "The Gun is Good, the Penis is Evil" speech, and I question their choices, even if it's from a "funny reference" angle.

 

 

[Ar_e_en]

I like King Diamond, but I swear to God that there are songs of his where you can practically pinpoint the moment when he had writers-block or just a massive brain-fart. The first time I listened to some of his songs - I had to pause and rewind certain sections just to figure out what the fuck he just sang. I have 2 examples!

 

Example 1:

 

 

"I will let You in on the secret of this house!" fine so far...
"The secret of Amon!" it's pretty good...
"That's what we call this house!" the fuck?!
What kind of phrasing is that? We can tell that the name of the house is "Amon", you didn't need to spell it out for us King! Every time I hear this part - I picture King grabbing his head and swearing at a lyric-sheet.

 

Example 2:

 

 

 

He just straight up spoils one of the plot points of the album on the first real track of the album! Imagine if Pink Floyd did that on "In The Flesh?" from The Wall! 

Spoiler

Tell me is something eluding you, sunshine?
Is this not what you expected to see?
Oh, by the way - the wall will be torn down!
So let's get this shit-show going on right now!

- "In The Flesh?" as written by King Diamond

 

[Ar_e_en]

5 hours ago, Mortrixs19 said:

 

I think this is the worst song by them lyrically. (Not bad, just gross)

 

It's "Cannibal Corpse" my dude, what did you expect from them? A song about respecting women? They're not gonna do that! Now "Anal Cunt" on the other hand...

 ;^)

[thiccyosh]

 

This song isn't bad itself (Heck, everyone has been searching for it for years as it is really great. 1:14 into this song is what you would recognize if you were on the Internet for long enough), but there is one lyric that throws me off the hard way everytime I listen to it.

 

And I quote: "her body smokin' , bet she'll die from cancer" (At 1:50 into this song)

 

Instead of writing "Why would you add that?" I'll let that lyric sink into you. Think about it.

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

"Revolve" by Melvins is utterly incomprehensible. 

Then again, so are all Melvins songs.

 

"Hey big Bo day
He says deny, but you're for tin lie
Head my shoulder
Big boat deluxe,

Big boat denied!"

Edited October 28, 2021 by TheMagicMushroomMan

[PsychEyeball]

I like Blackfield as a band but Go To Hell is definitely not their crowning moment. Cue the 5 minutes spent writing the lyrics!

 

"Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you
I don't care, I don't care

Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you

I don't care, I don't care
Anymore, Anymore

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell

Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you

I don't care, I don't care

Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you

I don't care, I don't care
Anymore, Anymore

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell"

 

Come to think of it, 5 minutes is even a tad generous.

Edited October 28, 2021 by PsychEyeball

[Murdoch]

6 hours ago, Doominator2 said:

 

This song has got some hilariously bad lyrics, stuff like "Bob your head like epilepsy", there's no way they weren't going this shit on purpose.

 

Yeah, Black Eyed Peas lyrics were so awful I honestly believe will.i.am was intentionally trolling.

 

This popped into my head earlier. I am a massive Queen fan, but sometimes even the legends miss target. And oh boy, this was so far off target the shot didn't even land in the same country. Only redeeming part of it is the bassline. The lyrics are appalling and the song is bland as hell.

 

 

 

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

8 minutes ago, Murdoch said:

This popped into my head earlier. I am a massive Queen fan, but sometimes even the legends miss target.

Don't forget about Zeppelin:

 

The Lemon Song

“Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg 

The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed.”

 

Dancing Days

"I told your mamma I'd get you home but I didn't tell her I had no car

I saw a lion, he was standing alone with a tadpole in a jar"

Edited October 28, 2021 by TheMagicMushroomMan

[Murdoch]

4 minutes ago, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

The Lemon Song

“Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg 

The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed.”

 

You know i get the sneaky feeling lemon is a metaphor for something...

 

5 minutes ago, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

Dancing Days

"I told your mamma I'd get you home but I didn't tell her I had no car

I saw a lion, he was standing alone with a tadpole in a jar"

 

Don't get high in the recording studio kids. Or do. Cause that's hilarious. 

[P41R47]

59 minutes ago, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

The Lemon Song

“Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg 

The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed.”

The fun fact is that its not even from them.
From the wikipedia entry of that song:

 

Spoiler

 

Led Zeppelin performed "Killing Floor" live in 1968 and 1969, and it became the basis for "The Lemon Song", which they recorded on their 1969 album Led Zeppelin II. It was recorded in Los Angeles when the band were on their second concert tour of North America. In some early performances Robert Plant introduced the song as "Killing Floor"; an early UK pressing of Led Zeppelin II showed the title as "Killing Floor" and was credited to Chester Burnett (Howlin' Wolf's legal name). For the second and third North American tours the song evolved into "The Lemon Song", with Plant often improvising lyrics onstage (the opening lyrics to both songs are identical).
 

Other lyrics, notably "squeeze (my lemon) till the juice runs down my leg," can be traced to Robert Johnson's "Travelling Riverside Blues". It is likely that Johnson borrowed this himself, from a song recorded earlier in the same year (1937) called "She Squeezed My Lemon" (by Arthur McKay). The song also references Albert King's "Cross-Cut Saw" In December 1972, Arc Music, owner of the publishing rights to Howlin' Wolf's songs, sued Led Zeppelin for copyright infringement on "The Lemon Song". The parties settled out of court. Though the amount was not disclosed, Howlin' Wolf received a check for US$45,123 from Arc Music immediately following the suit, and subsequent releases included a co-songwriter credit for him.
 

"The Lemon Song" was performed live on Led Zeppelin's first three concert tours of the United States (on the first tour as "Killing Floor"), before being dropped from their live set in late 1969. However, the 'squeeze my lemon' sequence continued to be inserted into the "Whole Lotta Love" medley and ad-libbed elsewhere. Jimmy Page performed this song on his tour with the Black Crowes in 1999. A version of "The Lemon Song" performed by Page and the Black Crowes can be found on the album Live at the Greek.

 

You can try tracing back from where comes the original lines.
But looking how back in time it goes, i doubt it, and probably it may come also from a folk song from another country, adapted then into english.
Probably you can trace it back to middle Asia.
The speculation of this come from a chinese guy i know that, whenever he wants to insult anyone with the usual ''suck my cXXk'', he said ''suck my lemon''.

So, maybe, just maybe, It was writen from the POV of someone from somewhere in Asia.
 

[Dark Pulse]

I mean, the lyrics themselves are one thing, but the way they're sung... yeah.

 

 

[[McD] James]

Pretty much anything that was written by Skrewdriver. 

[The BMFG]

i know this is gonna be controversial but. the lyrics to smells like teen spirit are just random garble taken from poetry and other things. it has basically no meaning. the song itself is great but the lyrics are......

[Murdoch]

13 minutes ago, The BMFG said:

i know this is gonna be controversial but. the lyrics to smells like teen spirit are just random garble taken from poetry and other things. it has basically no meaning. the song itself is great but the lyrics are......

 

Honestly i think even Cobain himself would not disagree. I think anyone looking at those lyrics as somehow good or poetic is reaching for something not there.

[Stupid Bunny]

Uriah Heep’s “Too Scared to Run” is one of the most unintentionally funny songs ever written

 

Spoiler

Too scared I could not run
I could not make a sound
Lights were flashing
My whole life passing
My feet were stuck to the ground

Too light to call it night
Too dark to call it day
Too scared to stay and fight
Too scared to run away

So scared I could not move
I could not make a sound
There were people running
People shouting
Flashes all around

Too scared to run
Too scared to run away

Too scared I could not think
My eyes could scarcely see
My heart was racing
My legs were shaking
They would not carry me

Like it’s kind of an awesome song but the fact that he keeps going on about how scared he is without ever saying what it is is something that would be brilliant if I thought they meant it to be silly
 

Also if I had a nickel for every time they rhymed “fire” with “desire” in their songs I’d have, like, a bunch of nickels

 

Oh yeah don’t forget when Foreigner rhymed “mind” with “mind”

[Mortrixs19]

4 hours ago, Ar_e_en said:

 

It's "Cannibal Corpse" my dude, what did you expect from them? A song about respecting women? They're not gonna do that! Now "Anal Cunt" on the other hand...

 ;^)

As someone who went through their entire discography, this is still the nastiest and most disgusting song by them imo

[xScavengerWolfx]

5 hours ago, PsychEyeball said:

I like Blackfield as a band but Go To Hell is definitely not their crowning moment. Cue the 5 minutes spent writing the lyrics!

 

"Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you
I don't care, I don't care

Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you

I don't care, I don't care
Anymore, Anymore

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell

Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you

I don't care, I don't care

Fuck you all, Fuck you
Fuck you all, Fuck you

I don't care, I don't care
Anymore, Anymore

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell

Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell
Go To Hell"

 

Come to think of it, 5 minutes is even a tad generous.

Something a edgy teenager would write

[whybmonotacrab]

Honestly, anything off of Eminem's Encore would count. The song Ass Like that is especially filled with some of the worst lyrics penned by man: 

"Hilary Duff is not quite old enough, so
I ain't never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year, I'll say ass and she'll make my pee-pee go
buh-doing, doing, doing"

 

 

[pcorf]

1 hour ago, whybmonotacrab said:

Honestly, anything off of Eminem's Encore would count. The song Ass Like that is especially filled with some of the worst lyrics penned by man: 

"Hilary Duff is not quite old enough, so
I ain't never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year, I'll say ass and she'll make my pee-pee go
buh-doing, doing, doing"

 

 

 

Haha. I remember Duff was amused by those lyrics.

 

Plenty of swimsuit photos of her. Eminem was right!

 

 

[Noiser]

4 hours ago, The BMFG said:

i know this is gonna be controversial but. the lyrics to smells like teen spirit are just random garble taken from poetry and other things. it has basically no meaning. the song itself is great but the lyrics are......

3 hours ago, Murdoch said:

Honestly i think even Cobain himself would not disagree. I think anyone looking at those lyrics as somehow good or poetic is reaching for something not there.

Iirc Kurt was a big fan of William Burroughs. What he did was essentially applying the cut-up method to his songs. 

Edited October 29, 2021 by Noiser

[Mr. Freeze]

Anything written by Alexi Laiho. I live CoB but lyrics were definitely not his strong suit.