Does anyone know about "stop_hurt_me.wad"?

[CyberLyr]

Back in 2018, at the beginning of summer, I came across Alex Droper, who was creating "Destroy on 4Ever" at the time (thanks to Iron Droog). Then she released that very strange mod on ModDB, which I want to talk about: "STOP_HURT_ME.WAD"
In the description itself, there was some kind of broken English description (I don't remember what was written there), and on the preview there was a brunette with a muzzle (as I later understood, it was a reworked art from Postal). The mod's menu also contained similar images, and the text at the game selection buttons hinted at "quick death" with their names (all this with a combination of broken English). When I started the game, I saw "glitched walls, floor and ceiling", in the form of animated textures. The player had only 25 HP, and electronic music played on the background. Walking along this semblance of a room, I saw a locked "door" to a blue key card (what else to lock with), and behind the steps down. There was this key-card in the dark, but when it was taken, a dark-haired head with blood streams flew out of the darkness (moreover, it was poorly drawn and glowed a little). She "flew" after me slowly, but did not catch up. Behind the door was a small labyrinth with walls of white noise, and at the end there was a kind of portal that takes you to the next level. The second level was not much different from the first, but there were already two doors and this monster could calmly finish off a player who, at death, uttered female sighs (?). At the end there was again a portal to the next level, in which I walked along the corridor from darkness to light, but then I was "killed by depression". At the end, I saw a text that spoke about the terrible pain and the desired death of the author, and in the background, instead of music, an inverted synthesized speech played.

A little oddity: all the music had two versions - normal and inverted, and as it passed on, the first was replaced by the second. In addition, I decided to watch the mod itself through Slade and was surprised to see the tags on the music files, which were full of statements about suffering and death (I know, it sounds stupid, but I assure you - it was a really creepy thing). Much more surprised by the monster itself - his name was "depression".
It was quiet for a while until she posted a second wad - "DREAM_WITH_ME.wad". The description was just as strange and incomprehensible, but on the preview there was again a dark-haired girl against a dark background and with painted eyes. The mod itself started in a dark basement (as I then understood) and I had to hold down the RMB to hold the lighter. There was no music in the background, the location had no way out, and the player could hit and even use a pistol, having previously found it. But then suddenly I died (without a screamer, but then I became very scared), and all with the same message "killed by depression." At the end there was again a text about an imminent breakdown and the inability to live on, and in the background there was an inverted sound of a woman's crying. This mod was almost empty. Seriously, he had the same "depression" and nothing more. Although it is likely that I have already forgotten a lot of what was there.
After some time (obviously more than two months), she released another wad - "Slope me". I don’t remember the full description of the mod, but there seemed to be a grammar and the author apologized for THAT(?). The title and the rather atmospheric and at the same time simple preview interested me, and I went through the mod to the end (it was already short). And I'll tell you right away - it was definitely creepy.
Piano music plays on the menu, which was already surprising. The game starts from the bedroom at night, and I moved on to the room with the computer. There there was an abrupt teleport to a dark room, and a photograph flashed in the corner of the screen, and then another teleport occurred, but this time to a bloody room and still with a photograph in the corner of the screen. Calm music gave way to eerie ambient, and the room was quite detailed (as for a beginner mapper). At the end there was a bed, going into which I was teleported into a forest with a green fog. In the middle of the location there was a dimple, around which there were lamps. In the pit itself lay a blue key-card (?), Picking up which I was attacked by "depression", only now it looked different - it was a dark-haired girl from "DREAM_WITH_ME.wad". I again found myself at the same bed, and I repeated the action. Only now I found myself - in fact - at the same location, but only in a different place. It was also a bloody underground (?) Room, in the middle of which there was a closed well. Going a little further, I found a more "meat" room with a water passage down (it was quite memorable, since I remember that) - it was impossible to get back, so I went on. In front of me was a kind of room, more like some kind of church, and in the middle there was a deeper hole leading into a dark labyrinth. It was strange, because because of poorly dynamic lighting, one could simply get stuck in a dead end, and the maze itself was not displayed on the map (!). But I remember well that at the end there was a lighted room, in which there was a button - when it was turned on, a monster was activated (whose name I don't remember, but its sprite was clearly taken from HTC2), and it killed me. I found myself again by the bed, and I lay down again. It was the same room, but the well opened. Having jumped into it, I rested on the ground, and then ended up on the first location, only in another place. It was again a kind of bloody room, more like a bedroom from the beginning of the mod, but at the end there was a descent down the stairs to ... the mirror. I saw in the mirror not the usual player sprite, but simply the reflected text: "I'm not real." The camera moved aside, and the main character, as if asking: "Is it me?" After that, there is a transition to the fourth location, in which I walked along the "meat" corridor and at the end came to the crucified man (you know, a typical texture from the game itself). The hero again asked: "Will this really happen to me?", After which there is another transition, already into a very clean corridor, where at the end there is a dark room with a "meat hole" in the floor. I jumped into it and touching the bottom I saw the final text again. It again said something about the author's illness and about the indifference of others to her.
You know, this mod impressed me with its atmosphere, but... do you remember about the photos? The fact is that this is a photo of dead and obviously exhausted children. This was not a big surprise for me, because I somehow tried to enter "dead kid gore" into Google pictures and find something like that. But I am concerned about another question: why insert these images into the mod? Also, music from the author himself played here: "Gernotyuring" - that was the name of this "project" from her (now all her music has been removed by her). There was also "cursed numbers", but I don't remember it at all.
Why am I telling all this? I wanted to share this story with others, because the "project" itself has already been lost (as I understood - the author simply deleted it), but there is no "Alex Droper" - now there is "Ekidona Arubino". I "followed" this girl by the name of Violetta (as she previously gave herself away in social networks and in her mods, calling the player by her name) - she wrote about her illness, in the form of an eternal headache. I even talked to her, and she told me about her recently acquired disability group for personality disorder (I think she is not against such publications), and about grooming and bullying about the fact that she is a trap. Deleting these mods (like some others) is a kind of liberation from the bad past. Don't consider me Synthetic, but I find meaning in these mods, especially the last one. I don't even know how to end my "(shit)post", so please - if you still have these mods with you, then let me know.
In addition, I will be glad to hear your reasoning about this and, in principle, about this story (yes, I am such an egoist). And yes, sorry for the bad English - I myself am from Russia and do not know the language very well, so I use a translator.