Shovelware Society #13 - WAD.WAD Week

[adamastor]

3 minutes ago, Thelokk said:

Gonna lay down my trolly self for once and vote for ARENA.WAD. Though BEATLE.WAD sounds groovy. 

Let the wild trolls roam free, lokk.

[LadyMistDragon]

IBeatle.wad sounds cool. but let's make things interesting.....

[adamastor]

Good news: two winners and One Humanity as a bonus. Let's go, folks.

[Thelokk]

51 minutes ago, Mr. Kong said:

Good news: two winners and One Humanity as a bonus. Let's go, folks.

 

Whoa, thicc week. I'm in.

[FEDEX]

Thanks for sharing all in separate files @Mr. Kong :)  

[Thelokk]

Aand here it goes!

 

Note: I know that just commentary with a couple screenshots probably looks a little low effort, my apologies. I live in the sticks and my internet is capped at 10gb per month, kinda hard to justify a youtube upload. I'll eventually learn how to record demos!

 

 

Aaaanyway:

 

Spoiler

 

BEATLE.WAD 

100% kills, no secrets

HMP

 

Good thing we had two (three!) maps this week because, like most of the eponym band's output after White Album, this wad is the very definition of low effort. No secrets, a handful of enemies scattered over a wasteland of white rocks, more rocket launchers than stuff to use them against. I mean, it probably took them longer to turn on their PC than to make the map, why not try a little harder? 

 

real estate for sale, demonic infestation discount available

 

 

DDS1.WAD

100% kills, 2/8 secrets

HMP

 

Now we're talking! This is one shovelware wad I'd bring to @Gibbon's project as a good example of a high grade effort that, in spite of its shovelwareish shortcomings, still manages to entertain. A decent kill count, a lot of obvious and not so obvious secrets, and no barred 'run n'gun' action - lots of fun, and this comes from a guy who usually loathes this kind of gameplay. Hitscanner ambushes are a map's favorite, just like the classic 'pronged imp attack'. The map is mostly a succession of square rooms, mixed up by unexpected teleporters and an indoor ziqqurat reminescent of Quake's 'Ziggurat Vertigo'. The whole UD bestiary is used with varying results - there is a rather toothless BoH ambush, but also some pretty nasty caco surprises hidden in here. 

Overall a pleasant surprise, and the kind of stuff I hope to see more in the future!

 

 

 

One  Humanity

100% kills, 4/4 secrets

UV

 

I've always had a soft spot for Romero and his Doom stuff. Sure, the guy looks and plays like a rockstar (200 bucks for a 15min call? come on) but, when pus comes to shove, he delivers in and out. I was already impressed by his standalone stuff like Tech Gone Bad, and Si666il is one of my favorites in the Doom 'expanded universe', and his Si666il 2 taster 'One Humanity' delivers in spades the kind of Doom experience I long for - unapologetically old school action in a map that puts in full display all of Romero's signature traits, from cramped verticality to idiosyncratically delicious texture usage. I can totally see 'One Humanity' be in the 15map to 19map range of Si666il 2's final release.

On top of all this, by purchasing the map you're helping what is, in my opinion, one of the most timely causes to unfortunately crop up in the last few years. (p.s: if you're reading this and thinking of pirating it, please don't. Really. Ok?)

 

Pros:

- It's Romero.

- Visually stunning, retro but with a sort of edge that bridges between Classic Doom and more recent trends. He's clearly been playing attention.

- A few very, very nasty ambushes.

- Very well balanced ammo.

 

Cons:

- The cybers felt tacked on, probablyto give the map more standalone power. I could have totally done without them.

- The door ending can catch off guard - definitely a placeholder texture. I imagine the level is meant to end with Si666il's signature Baphomet.

- You must, of course, play this with a retro mindset. Romero's definitely mapping from a certain 'headspace' that shares very little with modern slaughter /GZDoom trends. Love it or leave it.

 

will it ever get old?

 

 

 

[Endless]

Going to play the first one today and the next for the rest of the week.

 

Starting with BEATLE.WAD

Spoiler

There is not much to say really. According to the .txt, this WAD is supposed to be designed to be used as a DM arena, but it doesn't have much to offer for DM or SP. It is designed in an extremely simple way, with no major complexity or variation, practically just offering a few poorly connected rooms and throwing them in one place. At least I found no HOMs or serious bugs.

 

[adamastor]

6 hours ago, FEDEX said:

Thanks for sharing all in separate files @Mr. Kong :)  

No problem, bud.

 

As to you, @Thelokk, don't worry about stuff such as looking low effort, as this is hust a casual, free spirited thing we do. No contractual obligations here. Do it as you will.

 

As to the review itself, as in @Endless's case, I'll only read yours once I play the WADs as well, which may take a bit, on account of my new work hours.

I'll let you know once I read them, though. Thanks for sharing, gang.

[LadyMistDragon]

Beatle (1996) by Marc Howell

 

A deathmatch map with some very tasteful use of the E4 white as a floor texture and a cool rock structure in the middle. There's one indoor area and one outdoor area but neither of have such tight design that I can say they would be any fun.

lmd_beatledemo.zip

[Dusty_Rhodes]

 

 

No Fab Four in this wad, only a harmless DM map with monsters. I didn't have a bad time with this one, there's just very little to report.

[LadyMistDragon]

DDS1 by Don D. Smith

 

So maps eponnoynously named by their authors tend to be some sort of crappy deathmatch deals. Not this one, though. Though the beginning is quite shitty, and there are definitely far too many enemies in small rooms, it's actually fairly fun, second only to Redroom2. That crusher trap did get me once, ngl. I do think you've got to completely unload on the Lost Souls. Like thelokk said, the ziggurat was cool. The excessive amount of Barons did force me to retreat though. And like all true sharware devotees, I liked the unclear computer bank exit (you'll see me glancing at the map around this point. Also, blue's just cool, yo.

 

 

dds1 demo.zip

[Gibbon]

Beatle.wad

Spoiler

 

Not sure what this one was trying to accomplish.  I get that it was primarily for Deathmatch but the white floor and grey walls just disorient and confuse you.  Maybe this was the point, but my eyes were not happy on this map.  Can't imagine why it was called beatle, only that it is about as pretty as one. 

 

DDS.WAD

Spoiler

 

DDS (Damn Distorted S**t?)

 

Well, it lives up to the name I gave it.  It is a charming wad comprised of boxy rooms after boxy rooms with one time, having a pyramid, which was a nice treat!

 

I saw the crusher and did not get sucked into the ammo frenzy (and certain death).  Maybe on UV you would need it, but on lesser difficulties, this map is a walk in the park.

 

Loved the door that was disguised as a terminal wall, very nice.  Two Barons are waiting to scare you (ha) and then you're off to the exit.

 

I love the sweet little boxy rooms but something tells me the author did this intentionally as it is mentioned in the file about what you'd think of it.  Gameplay-wise, it sucks more than a toothless squirrel, but it has a certain charm that this kind of shovelware just leaks into the world.  Until next time DDS.

 

[Endless]

Time for DDS1!

 

Spoiler

 

One of my fears of this event, and others like it, is running into a WAD that is extremely sadistic and gives me hours of pure headaches. This little WAD... almost falls into that category! Luckily it's a level a bit more interesting than expected; it exceeds expectations (which are already extremely low) and manages to throw me into a small adventure that is entertaining, although, a bit difficult at times due to the huge number of enemies in extremely tight quarters.

 

The map is designed in a claustrophobic way, with little room to breathe and few places in which to maneuver. Because this is a map for Doom, we only have the basic shotgun and the rocket launcher, also, the form of combat takes place mainly in tight corridors, which makes everything becomes a kind of symphony of: shoot, wait, shoot, wait. The gameplay is nothing special and is a bit tiring, but, even so, the way it unfolds and the map grows is interesting, and I can appreciate the conceptual originality of certain areas, particularly the secret marble pyramid.

 

It's better than I expected, but still not a particularly enjoyable experience!

 

[Dusty_Rhodes]

Here's DDS1.WAD, one of the most fun single map PWADs for Doom 1 I've ever played. It almost feels like a less refined Chord 1. This is a super tight map with lots of fun combat. I really enjoy it. It's not perfect, but definitely very solid. My biggest gripe is with the item placement, most are in doorways and impossible to avoid. That means you'll be forced to take medikits when at 92% health. Either way, super creative and fun map.

 

In reality, it probably isn't that great, but for a 1995 shovelware wad, this is excellent combat.

Edited March 12, 2022 by Dusty_Rhodes

[adamastor]

I did it by the skin of my teeth. Got demos of all three WADs today, as I managed to get some time to play them.

 

BEATLE.WAD for DOOM II!, by Marc Howell.

  

Played on DOSBox 0.74-3 on skill 4. Got all measly 13/ 13 kills, and 0/ 0 secrets. Here's my demo: BEATLE.7z

  

And the review in the spoiler:

Spoiler

This one was a cinch. A pretty basic DM map, which might be pretty entertaining as such, with some aesthetic choices that almost make it look like a black and white world, which is pretty neat.

 

 

Combat-wise, the only encounter that I enjoyed was the 2 Barons, 1 RL fight, which always reminds me of sweet Phobos Anomaly.

 

 

And that's all. No Beatles to fight on this one, I'm afraid.

Now dds1.WAD, that was a lot of fun...

 

Next up is dds1.WAD, by Don D. Smith.

Played on DOSBox 0.74-3 on the UV skill level. Got all 179/ 179 kills, and found 5/ 8 secrets. Here's my demo: DDS1.7z

And the review on the spoiler down below:

Spoiler

This one is peak nineties fun. Shovelware splendor.

After a pretty unwelcoming start,

 

 

that sets the tone for the level, you find that you're in a hub of sorts, from which you progress after getting each key. This isn't confusing at all, and the layouts pretty solid.

The combat is especially worthy of mention, as it's very fun and challenging, at least on UV, due to some nasty combination of monsters, their placements, and slight ammo deprivation, which is especially cool to pull off in original DOOM.

Some of my favourite moments were the flesy room with a bunch of Lost Souls and a couple of Cacos, the Mayan-like pyramid

 

 

from which a unit of Imps start spawning from, the following fleshy room with the sole Baron and, of course, the crusher, whoch really got me my first time 'round, but from which I got some valuable supplies on this run.

 

 

After a lot of tense encounters, the ending was pretty relaxing as, armed with a valuable Blursphere, I led the Mastermind to shoot her Baron minions, which made the fight a piece of cake.

All in all, good stuff. One of the most entertaining shovelware WADs we found, thus far.

 

And finally One Humanity (2022), by John Romero.

Played on DOSBox 0.74-3 on UV, using DOOM32.EXE. Got all 94/ 94 kills, and found all 4/ 4 secrets. Here's my demo: HUMANITY.7z

And the review on the following spoiler:

Spoiler

Awesome map. It immediatly sat right with me as the opening shot, so to speak, gives off some SI6IL vibes and shows you the returning, and trademarked, Evil Eye switch.

 

 

From then on it's fun, meaness and peak fun Romero all the way through. All the common elements of being able to get to where you see, having to walk through damaging floors to get to some well-deseved goodies, claustrophobic encounters and two final, wicked, Cybies, who'll prove tough to handle for those who don't find the maps secrets.

This is one of it's bigger strenghts for me, as I was able to find most of them with ease, and they were fun to track down, too.

The highlights for me were the hectic, and hot, start, for which I had to come up with a small strategy, the trap with that nasty Vile (for which I recommed whipping out the BFG), the shootout against the teleporting monsters as you hear the thundering sound of the Cybies hooves stomping the ground, and the final (and optional) fight against said duo, for which I saved that tasty Godsphere. Oh, yes...

 

 

Got even more psyched about Sigil 2 now. Lock and load!

And that wraps it up for me. I'm also extending the "work week" we have to play these from Monday to Saturday, as I really couldn't hack it during the week, this time.

 

 

 

 

And now, as to the reviews of my fellow Doomers: @Thelokk, @Endless, @LadyMistDragon, @Dusty_Rhodes and King @Gibbon. Good stuff guys. I think we all agree that BEATLE's definitely a DM map, as per the author's own admission, and a pretty basic one at that (not that there's anything wrong with that) and dds1 is top shelf shovelware indeed, serving as a good example for this summer's blockbuster Megawad: Pandora, and being pretty good fun overall. Really liked Dusty's comparison to a dime-store Chord WAD (in a good way).

As to One Humanity, I think only Gibs, Thelokk and I played it up to now, so I'll just say that it truly was a blast for me. But then again, I'm a sucker for SI6IL as well.

 

And that's all. I'll post another round of candidates tomorrow for the world to vote one. Let us hope for a good harvest, gang.

Have a good one, folks.

 

Edited March 12, 2022 by Mr. Kong

[Gibbon]

I did One Humanity last weekend and so I didn’t do that again, it’s damn hard :)

[adamastor]

1 minute ago, Gibbon said:

I did One Humanity last weekend and so I didn’t do that again, it’s damn hard :)

Oh yeah. Sorry about that, I just forgot, as you did it before we chose to do it here too. I'll check out your video, now that I've played it as well.

 

And yeah, it's pretty tough on UV in that good, SI6IL like, way. I only got this saveless run as a demo on my fourth try or so. Damn that start and that nasty Vile trap.

[Dusty_Rhodes]

I wasn't able to get a video out on it yet, but it's  a very good level. I'll try and get One Humanity recorded soon, it's a lot of fun.

[adamastor]

The voting stands have now closed.

This week's we have another tie on our hands, as both RICK12.WAD as well as SPUNK2.WAD, both of them for DOOM II (MAP01) got three votes each. We'll play them both, as per usual. You can get them here: RICKS12.7z, SPUNK2.7z.

We now have until Saturday to play them and post our opinions, demos and videos on them here on the thread.

 

And that's all. Let's get knee-depp in shovelware!

Edited March 14, 2022 by Mr. Kong

[Thelokk]

4 minutes ago, Mr. Kong said:

It's voting day, folks.

This week's candidates are:

 

DESPAIR.WAD (DOOM)         -        Soulsphere

 

HEL@HOME.WAD (DOOM)     -        Partial Invisibility

 

RICKS12.WAD (DOOM2)       -        Megasphere

 

SPUNK2.WAD (DOOM2)        -        Invulnerability

 

Let the voting commence!

 

Considering we currently have plenty of despair and hell@home without turning to games, I voted Spunk2. Will play whatever gets the most votes regardless, of course!

[Dusty_Rhodes]

Something about a wad named "Ricks12" is amazing. 

[CoolerDoomeR]

5 hours ago, Mr. Kong said:

It's voting day, folks.

This week's candidates are:

 

DESPAIR.WAD (DOOM)         -        Soulsphere

 

HEL@HOME.WAD (DOOM)     -        Partial Invisibility

 

RICKS12.WAD (DOOM2)       -        Megasphere

 

SPUNK2.WAD (DOOM2)        -        Invulnerability

 

Let the voting commence!

I vote for HEL@HOME.WAD, it's great!

[LadyMistDragon]

One Humanity

 

John Romero, PLEASE don't make an entire 32-map megawad by yourself. Metal textures are fine for 1 or two maps and I'd hate to see this sort of blandness continue for 2/3rds of a megawad, bits of detailing notwithstanding. But what's that armour sitting on top of. A stove top? A computer? Hitscanners suck and I meant to play this on HMP. Am I really missing that much? I'd just rather not play beta maps if I can avoid it. It's fairly average as it is. You won't see all of my rewinds either

 

 

one-humantiy_demo.zip

Edited March 13, 2022 by LadyMistDragon

[adamastor]

The weekly WADs have been decided: RICKS12.WAD and SPUNK2.WAD! Get them from my comment above.

[Gibbon]

RICKS12.WAD - ReBOOM (dev version) - skill 2

Spoiler

 

So I thought this would be easy and so I tried it on UV with fast monsters.  Needless to say that surprise archvile took me down in seconds.

 

Again on skill 2 was much more manageable but made my doomguy feel a bit wimpy.  This is however pure shovelware in name and content.  From switches that enable other switches to timed doors that will not open a second time (thanks to the switches being S1 not SR).

 

My favourite part was the teleporters, just waiting to see where you end up was golden and the double-time trickery of fooling you into the exit was pretty neat.  The final part with the computer room and lost souls was nice, but having to use the SR50 strafe to get the Plasma Rifle was a bit hair raising as I never use it and didn't want to see what was in that pit...

 

All in all, pretty nice.  But I am pissed that there was no Rick Astley memes here..  which is why I voted for it :)

 

[Thelokk]

Aaaand here we go!

 

Spoiler

 

RICKS12.WAD

UV / GZDoom / had to cheat

 

So, I understand correctly that this gem comes to the veritable treasure trove that is Maximum Doom? I actually have a physical CD copy of that abomination lying somewhere in my collection! Been ages since I gave any of those levels a spin.

Once upon a time, before Doom Zero... there was RICKS12. Some people love switches, and some people love switches. The whole map is pretty much a glorified switch hunt, one in which the switches' positioning and sequence makes no sense at all, so the only way to progress is pretty much randomly pushing all you find while experiencing a growing sense of unease. Something is deeply wrong about this map, and I loved it. The combat, save for a slightly cheeky archvile, is negligible, as you're swamped in all kinds of ammo and health bonuses; the layout and design borders on schizophrenia, alternating the dullest of TEKGREEN expanses with ridiculously overtextured insanity. I also got a bonus fall under the floor! lucky me. 

In spite of all this, I actually liked this stuff. Under its shovelware core of lame designs and risible progression, it managed to kind of unsettle me, the way any good Doom map should. I give it 10 switches / 10.

 

The view from below

 

SPUNK2.WAD

UV / GZDoom / bullet hell

 

Is this one also from Maximum Doom? that piece of plastic really is the gift that keeps on giving. Don't be scared by the wad's relatively large enemy count - a good four fifths of them are crammed in two gigantic rooms, and they're all hitscanners. Really, what's the 90s obsession with corridors that could accomodate a buffalo stampede, and rabbit-like hitscanner breeding programs? Save for a comically telegraphed knights and archie ambush, the rest of the map is grunt after grunt, with the occasional meat shield imp. Now, since this map is a 'run and gun' galore through and through, probably most would say it's overall a more competent effort than RICKS12. Still... I enjoyed it far less. Ricky had character: a warped one, granted, but at least it left and impression. Spunk is... not spunky at all. Flat, unmemorable. Banal. I give it 2 hitscans / 10.

 

Imagine being an imp in this room

 

 

[adamastor]

Got some early time off for good behaviour this week, so I got to play both WADs.

 

RICKS12.WAD

Played on DOSBox 0.74-3, skill 4. I got all 47/ 47 kills, and no secrets, as the WAD doesn't contain any (although that Soulsphere might as well have been one). Here's my demo: RICKS12.7z

And the review below:

Spoiler

This one, althoug pretty breezy, even compared to SPUNK2, was a lot of fun. I really liked the aesthetics, from the opening shot,

 

 

to the Soulsphere room with the only combat encounter worth mentioning, the classic chain of teleporters and basic puzzle elements to, of course, the room:

 

 

 

a veritable nineties mapper fever dream. The stuff of shovelware legend! This one, even though it feels just like a sample, was something special.

Good stuff indeed.

 

And SPUNK2.WAD

Also played on DOSBox 0.74-3, on UV. I got 202/ 203 kills, just to be annoying, and, once again, no secrets in this map. Here's my demo: SPUNK2.7z

And the review on the spoiler:

Spoiler

This one was fun. Although pretty basic, it has two entertaining combat scenarios that'll give your BFG some work-out.

 

 

Other than that, my favourite encounter was the one with the Vile, Baron and co., although that too was cut short due to the overpowered arsenal I had by that time.

Even though this one is packed with monsters (low-level ones, granted), it also seems to have been cut from the DM cloth as, besides the layout and spots that host a multitude of power-ups, I couldn't find an exit, and thus end my demo with the time honored tradition of rocket suicide.

 

 

 

 

 

When all's said and done, gibbing a whole, cramped, army of hitscanners with the BFG never gets old.

 

As for Gibs and lokk, solid reviews, as usual. I'll watch that video in a moment, too.

 

 

And as for your question regarging the WADs, @Thelokk no, we've been fishing all of these from the D!Zone Gold CD, even though there's always a chance of finding them in other compilations.

We'll save Maximum Doom for later, as that'll basically be the cream of the crop of our shovelware adventures.

Edited March 14, 2022 by Mr. Kong

[LadyMistDragon]

Spunk2.Wad.

 

This was pretty fun, although I suspect this was a deathmatch map since there's no exit, just a relatively incoherent series of rooms and hallways (the flesh hallway's probably the most out of place. I think this mapper may have had a sexual fetish for shotgunnners though because of the utter METRIC TON of them. I actually had no clue the BFG could only be accessed once when I played this the first time. It makes the blue room filled with shotgunners that much more frustrating. The ridculous amount of supplies in said room does kind of offset ir however.

spunk 2 demo.zip

[adamastor]

37 minutes ago, LadyMistDragon said:

Spunk2.Wad.

 

This was pretty fun, although I suspect this was a deathmatch map since there's no exit, just a relatively incoherent series of rooms and hallways (the flesh hallway's probably the most out of place. I think this mapper may have had a sexual fetish for shotgunnners though because of the utter METRIC TON of them. I actually had no clue the BFG could only be accessed once when I played this the first time. It makes the blue room filled with shotgunners that much more frustrating. The ridculous amount of supplies in said room does kind of offset ir however.

spunk 2 demo.zip

Glad you enjoyed this one too, milady.

 

Too bad about that BFG business, though.

[Gibbon]

SPUNK2.WAD

Spoiler

 

It starts out innocently enough, in some poorly textured but aptly shovelware-like room.

 

Soon-enough, after peeking out the windows, you realise this is some 1996 mini-slaughter fest of a map.  With hoardes of hitscanners waiting for you at every corner.  There doesn't seem to be any difficulty settings and so I used skill 1, just for the less damaging hitscan shots that I'd for sure be taking.

 

A surprise archie was waiting that sucked on my BFG ball and after getting all kills..  there was no exit.

 

So I killed myself :)