The worst movie you seen

[Rudolph]

Black Friday (2021) is not terrible per se, just extremely eh.

 

It is neither particularly funny (the satire of corporate culture is quickly tossed aside the moment zombies start attacking and most of the cast is either one-note or insufferable) nor exciting, as zombies are few and far between and they usually attack one at a time, Bruce Campbell's character is cowardly and mostly ineffectual, Michael Jai White (also known as the saving grace of the otherwise eminently forgettable Universal Soldier: The Return) does not stay for very long, leaving us with a handful of bland characters to serve as the lead characters, and the whole climax is incredibly awkward. It also does not help that there is little to no build up to the threat: zombies just start showing up, there is no sense of large-scale chaos or panic or even that anything is really at stakes, as characters never treat the situation all that seriously and act more annoyed that they are missing out on things or are not being treated well by management.

 

 

Edited July 2, 2022 by Rudolph

[Sotenga]

On 6/8/2022 at 10:58 AM, omalefico32x said:

batman vs superman

 

i saw it 2 years ago and i remember thinking that it couldn't be THAT bad... never have i been so wrong in my life

As a superhero film junkie, Batman v Superman is the absolute worst of the entire genre. Even Batman and Robin, I could laugh at. BvS is just such a thoroughly boring slog that ruins every character that isn't Wonder Woman. I'm glad I didn't pay to see it.

 

Also, Sausage Party. I'm glad Seth Rogen isn't everywhere like he used to be, because this film made me hate him and his whole damn posse. Just absolutely crass.

[MFG38]

On 6/8/2022 at 12:14 PM, Doomkid said:

 Doom is “meh”. Not really that bad. Well, the second one is pretty bad.. but the first one isn’t awful.

 

I actually enjoyed Doom: Annihilation more than the 2005 movie. It certainly felt more faithful to the source material. But I can see why others would think of them the other way around. Then again, movies based on video games are generally known for not being very good in the first place.

[heliumlamb]

dwegons and leprechauns. i'd hesitate to say it's so bad it's good but it's more of a "so bad you can't look away" sort of deal. i've seen it twice, i dont think i could once more. every frame of that makes my skin crawl and not in any pleasant way.

i have not cared for any superhero movie since the sam rami spiderman trilogy. like those weren't "Great Films", but they were at least fun! all of what has essentially become "space disney" and "cape disney" is an unmemorable sludge. the type of movie where i have to just dissociate while viewing to get some enjoyment from it. that is if i do see it at all, i have not seen a "superhero movie" that was released after 2009ish so i could be wrong but my thoughts would probably not be far off.

ive only had to actually hide in a theater bathroom for at least 75% of a movie once and i think it was because i was coming down with normie poisoning from it. it made me genuinely ill. no amount of dissociation was going to save me from that one. i honestly could not recall the name of that one 30 seconds after leaving the theater.

and i could not recall the name of like a good 80% of the stuff we would grab on vhs that i and others would sleuth through till the sun came up many many weekends, for at least a good few years. all not even a decade ago! the worst kind of "bad" is just an unmemorable "meh" and later a "huh?". at least with any form of selectable media, you can go "alright, no more of this."

Edited August 18, 2022 by heliumlamb
+1 sentence, "of" where needed

[vyruss]

"The Killer Eye" comes to mind immediately.  Imagine a B movie.  Okay, good.  Now add in a giant, sentient eyeball that slithers around on a giant optic nerve.  Great, now you're getting the feeling of it.  Whatever expectation of production value you can get, take that and reduce 90% of that budget. Okay, now take a deep breath.

 

The titular villain in this movie is a giant, rapey eyeball that violates people (doesn't care where it sticks it) with the ends of its optic nerve.  The end.

 

It eventually ends up dying somehow, but the whole scene of it basically just lifting the edge of the bedsheets and slithering to its goal is all I really remember of this atrocity.  I think my father-in-law and wife got that from some pawn shop box of VHS tapes for like $12 with a whole bunch of other unheard of B and lower grade movies.  The cans of Steel Reserve were more interesting.

Edited August 18, 2022 by vyruss

[SplinkWizard]

I recently fell in love with Asian films again. I have pretty low standards when it comes to movies, but the worst one I saw was "King of Snake". It tries to have funny moments when they are not even needed. This movie was released in 2020, and it makes me think Marvel's quirky dialogue is infecting every studio.

[Rudolph]

Netflix's Purple Hearts is reportedly doing very well and that is to me extremely alarming.

 

 

It is a naked recruitment tool for the US military that feels straight out of Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, but alas it is not a satire. Rather, it is a straightforwardly generic sappy love story with easily one of the most insulting premises I have ever seen. 

 

Basically, it is the story of a liberal Democrat girl who has to marry a Republican douchebag (because blue + red = purple! Get it? GET IT?!?), initially as a sham because the girl is unable to afford insulin and the dude is riddled with debts, and they both could use the money from being military spouses, but eventually, they do fall in love anyway, because love conquers all and stuff. Eventually, they do get caught, but in the end, the dude essentially gets a slap on the wrist and then he is happily reunited with the girl.

 

Naturally, the movie does not bother to question why things have gotten so bad in the supposedly greatest country on Earth nor how fucked up it is that the US military is allowed to so shamelessly prey on desperate people. No, what really matters is that the liberal girl who needs insulin to stay alive and the conservative douchebag who agreed to go to Iraq because he wanted to kill Arabs can get along!

 

All in all, it is not a bad film technically speaking, but the whole premise is so nakedly cynical that it becomes downright offensive.

Edited August 20, 2022 by Rudolph

[Caged]

[Removed]

Edited October 16, 2022 by Caged

[Rudolph]

@Caged Even worse than Dragon Ball Evolution and M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender?

[Caged]

[Removed]

Edited October 16, 2022 by Caged

[Sonikkumania]

Remake of Day of the Dead was so bad that I was unable to finish it. Also that Lordi horror movie was so, so bad.

[Jello]

The Shape of Water.

 

I've seen some really bad movies, but to me, to call a movie the "worst" means that it had to have tried, and had a budget, and received recognition beyond what it actually accomplished. Yes, Manos was a bad movie, but it was never up for an Oscar. Yes, Santa Claus vs The Devil was terrible, but nobody expected any more from it.. There are so many bad movies out there, but most of them weren't trying to be great in the first place.

 

When I think of the worst movies I've ever seen, I have to give it to a blockbuster, something that people sunk money into, that was given awards and lauded as a groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece. And I can't think of anything that comes anywhere near close to the absolute tripe that was The Shape of Water. I'm sure there are people that will disagree with me, but the message of the movie was so blatantly obvious that it felt like a jackhammer pounding into my head the entire time I was watching it; there was absolutely no nuance to the story. And it won an Oscar. By far the worst movie I've ever watched.

Edited August 21, 2022 by Jello

[Rudolph]

@Jello Not a fan of Guillermo Del Toro, I take?

 

I can relate: I have not seen Pacific Rim (nor do I plan to), I never cared much for Hellboy 1 & 2, and his only film I liked was Pan's Labyrinth.

[ChopBlock223]

On 8/18/2022 at 7:54 PM, vyruss said:

"The Killer Eye" comes to mind immediately.  Imagine a B movie.  Okay, good.  Now add in a giant, sentient eyeball that slithers around on a giant optic nerve.  Great, now you're getting the feeling of it.  Whatever expectation of production value you can get, take that and reduce 90% of that budget. Okay, now take a deep breath.

 

The titular villain in this movie is a giant, rapey eyeball that violates people (doesn't care where it sticks it) with the ends of its optic nerve.  The end.

 

It eventually ends up dying somehow, but the whole scene of it basically just lifting the edge of the bedsheets and slithering to its goal is all I really remember of this atrocity.  I think my father-in-law and wife got that from some pawn shop box of VHS tapes for like $12 with a whole bunch of other unheard of B and lower grade movies.  The cans of Steel Reserve were more interesting.

Pretty sure that one was featured on Best Of The Worst a few years back, may even have been the same compilation.

[ChopBlock223]

On 6/14/2022 at 4:56 PM, Rudolph said:

I am of the opinion that bad drama can be funny, but bad comedy cannot.

All too true, drama failing can be hysterically funny, but comedy failing means there's either nothing left, or it causes the opposite of laughter, draining cheer and joy from you.

 

Given that humor is frequently a coping mechanism for relieving stress and anxiety in us humans, I theorize that really bad comedy, so called "nonmedy", actually causes a person stress and anxiety, which is why it's such an unpleasant and aggravating experience.

[dasho]

On 8/20/2022 at 8:25 AM, Rudolph said:

Netflix's Purple Hearts is reportedly doing very well and that is to me extremely alarming.

 

 

It is a naked recruitment tool for the US military that feels straight out of Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers, but alas it is not a satire. Rather, it is a straightforwardly generic sappy love story with easily one of the most insulting premises I have ever seen. 

 

Basically, it is the story of a liberal Democrat girl who has to marry a Republican douchebag (because blue + red = purple! Get it? GET IT?!?), initially as a sham because the girl is unable to afford insulin and the dude is riddled with debts, and they both could use the money from being military spouses, but eventually, they do fall in love anyway, because love conquers all and stuff. Eventually, they do get caught, but in the end, the dude essentially gets a slap on the wrist and then he is happily reunited with the girl.

 

Naturally, the movie does not bother to question why things have gotten so bad in the supposedly greatest country on Earth nor how fucked up it is that the US military is allowed to so shamelessly prey on desperate people. No, what really matters is that the liberal girl who needs insulin to stay alive and the conservative douchebag who agreed to go to Iraq because he wanted to kill Arabs can get along!

 

All in all, it is not a bad film technically speaking, but the whole premise is so nakedly cynical that it becomes downright offensive.

 

Ok, so is the movie bad or are you just angery at America?

[Graf Zahl]

It's hard to name the "worst movie I have ever seen" - but one thing I really cannot stand is sequels that destroy the premise of their predecessors.

I had the misfortune of watching "Terminator - Dark Fate" last weekend and it's a textbook example of stupidity that managed to push all the wrong buttons. Not only is the story a total disaster when being considered a sequel of the first two Terminator movies (makes zero sense whatsoever - and making your lead character a total psychopath is also a big turn-off) but on top of that I really cannot remember an action movie with such annoying action sequences.

 

It's easily one of the worst pieces of crap I have seen in a long time.

Edited August 22, 2022 by Graf Zahl

[Valboom]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

[Thelokk]

On 8/18/2022 at 7:54 PM, vyruss said:

The titular villain in this movie is a giant, rapey eyeball that violates people (doesn't care where it sticks it) with the ends of its optic nerve.  The end.

 

It actually sounds like a genuinely great premise for a Z-category monster movie. Will have to check it out. 

[Xcalibur]

On 6/8/2022 at 5:01 AM, MrFlibble said:

Very certainly The Last Jedi. I've never been much of a Star Wars fan (my favourite instalment in the franchise being Dark Forces) but watched the previous trilogies and more or less enjoyed them (save for Hayden Christensen as Anakin). Had no particular hopes for the Disney trilogy but thought that The Force Awakens was competently done, albeit completely unoriginal. But this... I guess it was the first time a film had such an impact on me because I couldn't believe what I had just watched, so bad it was. The Last Jedi fails as a movie at so many levels I cannot truly understand how it was allowed to be released in this state. Weren't there screenings where the audience should have pointed out the obvious problems with the entire plot, the characters and their interactions? Isn't there a procedure to review the script before filming to make sure it tells a coherent story?

 

I kept going back to it in my thoughts for several weeks after watching it, and finally started watching YouTube videos with detailed criticisms of the film, which ultimately led me to discover The Critical Drinker. So this is probably the only good thing that came out of The Last Jedi for me. But as a movie, it's completely, unredeemably terrible. It's basically something that superficially resembles a film thanks to high production values (I can only shudder at how much money was sunk into it) but at the core is a complete failure due to an apparent lack of competence, and/or perhaps a lack of will to really tell a good or at least coherent story.

Came in to say this. I don't think I've ever seen a film that insulted my intelligence quite like TLJ. It didn't even have the saving grace of being so-bad-it's-good. It's cheesy, clunky, incoherent, inconsistent, poorly paced, poorly plotted, etc. In particular, it veered wildly between being a serious drama vs a parody, and the camera work was lazier than a porno. It had blatant merchandising shoved in, to say nothing of the heavy-handed, preachy far-left politics (although I won't say anything more on that, since that's a red button around here). It also assassinated characters, broke the logic of the fictional universe, and had zero grasp of military strategy.

 

Worst of all, TLJ is about 90% plagiarized -- much of it is ripped from Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, along with an episode of Battlestar Galactica, the ending scene in Escape from LA, and filler scenes from a sci-fi movie from 2009 (forget its name). Plagiarism is the nemesis of creativity; it's lazy, dishonest, and shows no integrity.

 

It actually took me awhile to process how truly awful it is. I don't think any film has made me say "uhh, okayyy..." more times than TLJ. The only positive thing I can say about it is that it has fancy special effects, that's it.

Edited August 22, 2022 by Xcalibur

[Rudolph]

1 hour ago, Xcalibur said:

Plagiarism is the nemesis of creativity; it's lazy, dishonest, and shows no integrity.

Then again, you are talking about Star Wars, a franchise that not only has the habit of constantly rehashing itself, but also began as essentially a plagiarism of Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress and Michael Anderson's The Dam Busters.

Edited August 22, 2022 by Rudolph

[Xcalibur]

2 hours ago, Rudolph said:

Then again, you are talking about Star Wars, a franchise that not only has the habit of constantly rehashing itself, but also began as essentially a plagiarism of Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress and Michael Anderson's The Dam Busters.

I'm aware of its roots, but there's a difference between plagiarism vs influence/inspiration. As the saying goes, originality is the art of concealing your sources. You're allowed to borrow from things, as long as you rework it and make it distinctly your own. The Original Trilogy did that, Disney most certainly did not. TLJ in particular just ripped entire sequences: they turned Hoth to salt and moved it to the end, Cloud City became casino planet (complete with betrayal), Dagobah became the island (complete with dark side cave), and they took the throne room from RotJ while making it far less dramatic and effective. The space chase with fuel running out was from Battlestar Galactica, and the scene of shooting at a hologram was from Escape from LA. There was no effort to turn old into new, it's just a cut & pasted hackjob. Also, porgs were a nauseating merchandise insert.

[out_of_service]

5 hours ago, Valboom said:

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

I've watched a lot of bad films but this one definitely takes the cake. Everything about it is downright awful.

[Rudolph]

1 hour ago, Xcalibur said:

TLJ in particular just ripped entire sequences: they turned Hoth to salt and moved it to the end, Cloud City became casino planet (complete with betrayal), Dagobah became the island (complete with dark side cave), and they took the throne room from RotJ while making it far less dramatic and effective. The space chase with fuel running out was from Battlestar Galactica, and the scene of shooting at a hologram was from Escape from LA.

Again, as much as I like The New Hope, I reckon it is almost beat for beat The Hidden Fortress with The Dam Busters climax serving as the movie's own climax. Heck, the original script The Star Wars was even more similar to The Hidden Fortress in some aspects, if you can believe it, and George Lucas reportedly used literal World War II aerial dogfight footage as placeholders during production, so it is not like Star Wars has even been good at concealing its inspirations in the first place.

 

I can understand disliking The Last Jedi, but what I just do not get is how one can take offense at it for doing what the franchise has done so many times. If that is your biggest issue with the movie, then I feel like you are kind of late to the party. Also, ideas like ships running out of fuel and people being tricked by holograms were not invented by Battlestar Galactica and Escape from Los Angeles, respectively: I am pretty sure there are plenty of naval warfare stories out there that revolve around the former and the latter has been not only a staple of Star Trek, especially ever since The Next Generation, but most importantly a gimmick for an action scene in Paul Verhoeven's Total Recall:

 

 

Edited August 22, 2022 by Rudolph

[jupiter_ex]

the lobster

[Gregor]

Top Gun: Maverick.

 

Absolute cringe from the first minute to the the last. The flight scenes look awesome but the plot and characters, and especially the dialogue, is Saturday morning cartoon level. If i hadn't been there with friends., i would have walked out of the cinema after 20 min. I never felt so annoyed watching a movie. It was actually painful to endure.

[Rudolph]

@Gregor Amen. It is so baffling to me that this movie is doing so well: not only is it a blatant recruitment tool for the US Air Force, but the whole thing is just so... bland. At least, big blockbusters like Marvel movies tend to be inventive and colorful; here, it is just a bunch of war criminals engaging in dick-measuring contests and violating the airspace of a country the movie is too cowardly to even name.

Edited August 23, 2022 by Rudolph

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

1 hour ago, Gregor said:

Top Gun: Maverick.

 

Absolute cringe from the first minute to the the last. The flight scenes look awesome but the plot and characters, and especially the dialogue, is Saturday morning cartoon level. If i hadn't been there with friends., i would have walked out of the cinema after 20 min. I never felt so annoyed watching a movie. It was actually painful to endure.

Sounds like an improvement over the original.

 

53 minutes ago, Rudolph said:

not only is it a blatant recruitment tool for the US Air Force

Uhm, if I recall correctly it was actually the Navy. I'm aware a lot of people cannot differentiate between the two of them just because of "the airplanes, brah", but I would hope that if someone is dumb enough to join the military just because Tom Cruise played pretend in a movie, they'd at least be able to remember what branch Tom Cruise was in. Still, your comment makes me question if you've actually seen either one of the movies. You shouldn't, because Tom Cruise is an emotionless alien since Born on the Fourth of July and because Top Gun is corn covered in shit, but still.

Edited August 23, 2022 by TheMagicMushroomMan

[Jello]

On 8/21/2022 at 6:53 AM, Rudolph said:

@Jello Not a fan of Guillermo Del Toro, I take?

 

I can relate: I have not seen Pacific Rim (nor do I plan to), I never cared much for Hellboy 1 & 2, and his only film I liked was Pan's Labyrinth.

I'm not a huge fan, but I never really had a dislike for his movies either. I still need to watch Pan's Labyrinth, as it seems like he has an idea for visual flare which I would probably enjoy. I did enjoy the Hellboy movies, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I love Ron Perlman. I did see Pacific Rim, and it was a terrible disaster flick/monster/giant mech movie; and I honestly don't care that much for those. To each their own, but the Godzilla movies, the Transformer movies, they've never been my cup of tea. But I can see why it could possibly be an enjoyable popcorn movie for some people.

 

The Shape of Water, however, was just bad on many fundamental levels, which I've already gone through. It had nothing to do with del Toro, it was just a bad movie. Although looking back through his movie credits, for the most part, no I guess I'm not a del Toro fan. I'm a Ron Perlman fan.

 

And maybe it's not "The worst movie I've ever seen", and I've seen some stinkers, but it certainly sticks in my craw far more than many others. Mainly due to just how ridiculously overrated it became. I went into it with an optimistic attitude, I really hoped it would be good. I'm not the kind of person who thinks "Well, this film got really good reviews and two, sorry, four, Academy Awards, it probably stinks!" at all, I really wanted to enjoy it. It just sucked. 

Edited August 23, 2022 by Jello

[Xcalibur]

13 hours ago, Rudolph said:

Again, as much as I like The New Hope, I reckon it is almost beat for beat The Hidden Fortress with The Dam Busters climax serving as the movie's own climax. Heck, the original script The Star Wars was even more similar to The Hidden Fortress in some aspects, if you can believe it, and George Lucas reportedly used literal World War II aerial dogfight footage as placeholders during production, so it is not like Star Wars has even been good at concealing its inspirations in the first place.

 

I can understand disliking The Last Jedi, but what I just do not get is how one can take offense at it for doing what the franchise has done so many times. If that is your biggest issue with the movie, then I feel like you are kind of late to the party. Also, ideas like ships running out of fuel and people being tricked by holograms were not invented by Battlestar Galactica and Escape from Los Angeles, respectively: I am pretty sure there are plenty of naval warfare stories out there that revolve around the former and the latter has been not only a staple of Star Trek, especially ever since The Next Generation, but most importantly a gimmick for an action scene in Paul Verhoeven's Total Recall:

 

 

Of course those ideas have been used other times, and I'm not denying Star Wars' borrowings -- from those films, and from Dune. But it's about how you do it. Star Wars took existing works and blended it into something new and distinctive, with its own character. TLJ just ripped stuff off and pasted it in, doing the absolute minimum to rework it. There's a subtle but profound distinction between hackjob ripoffs, vs liberal borrowing to make something new.

 

Going on a tangent, my favorite music genre, hiphop, has always sampled existing records. Some argue that sampling is plagiarism and unoriginal, but I say it's not, because they rework the samples into something very different from what the original artists intended. If no one was allowed to take existing concepts and run with them, it would choke off creative development. On the other hand, when you borrow from existing works, you have to do so with proportionality and creativity, instead of just regurgitating.

 

Fair Use doctrine regarding copyright is a great example of what I mean by this.