Do you lie?

[Koko Ricky]

  On 6/29/2022 at 4:08 PM, Solmyr said:

No one bar exceptions like OP can avoid lying for too long because truth while it's a virtue can also be a terrible and painful thing to face. It can destroy self-worth by making you see a terrible aspect of your life that you choose to ignore.

Expand  

You're getting a bit into our subjective perception of ourselves. How we feel about our actions. I don't think that's the same as being truthful. If you're destroying your self-worth through some supposed series of "truthful" statements, you are more than likely just engaging in negative self-talk, which is pretty subjective.

[Chezza]

For the most part I rarely lie, as I really don't like doing it and want others to be truthful to me as well.

 

The closest to a regular lie is me restraining myself from expressing my brutally honest opinions or i'll play them down to be diplomatic.

 

I have been around lots of people (mostly as a child and teen) who lie through their teeth to build a public perception or make a story that one ups someone elses. To me, that's a sign of emotional weakness which I look down upon, comparing any adults and teens who do it as immature, low self esteem individuals.

 

Also I just straight out admire humbleness, especially from those who don't have reason to be. Don't stroke your own ego or desperately try get public approval, just be you and understand your strengths and weaknesses.

[Dark Pulse]

Me:

 

I try not to do it with major things, but most people tell little white lies all the time.

Edited June 30, 2022 by Dark Pulse

[Solmyr]

  On 6/30/2022 at 12:04 AM, Koko Ricky said:

You're getting a bit into our subjective perception of ourselves. How we feel about our actions. I don't think that's the same as being truthful. If you're destroying your self-worth through some supposed series of "truthful" statements, you are more than likely just engaging in negative self-talk, which is pretty subjective.

Expand  

I poorly worded my statement about how truth can destroy one's self-worth so it came across as purely introspective in nature. What i meant was how truth can harm one's self-worth when confronted by someone else's truthful statements about one's shortcomings in life. Some people who choose to believe that their shortcomings in life are due to an external factor rather than poor decisions or negative personality traits may react with anger and refuse to confront the truth when they're called out, because facing the truth is painful to their own self-worth.  

Edited June 30, 2022 by Solmyr

[Taw Tu'lki]

Sometimes.

[purple_ruberoid]

I don't lie for my memory isn't good enough to remember all lies Joking

Usually, if it is possible, I tend not to tell everything. Or something like "I may tell you later" or something politely. In most of the cases I'm diplomatic person.

[ＤΞＬＴΛ]

I'm actually a VERY honest person, EVEN to my own detriment, I don't lie at all unless the situation at hand demands that I lie. Basically, I will only lie if it'll help my current predicament IRL, not social media (for example: doomworld, reddit, twitter or the zdoom forums, because we all know what happens if you lie on social media platforms...). The closest thing to lying I'll wind up at would probably be the fact I would be misguided on something or misinformation and that's about it.

 

In other words... No, I don't lie at all...

[Apprentice]

No. I don't need to and with today's (social) media and other stuff, it can either bite me in the ass or I can get otherwise debunked.

 

There are those who've made it into a compulsive habbit though, certain politicians from my native country (.nl) to name a few who miraculously "did not have an active memory" of events . . .

[Koko Ricky]

  On 6/30/2022 at 6:31 AM, Solmyr said:

I poorly worded my statement about how truth can destroy one's self-worth so it came across as purely introspective in nature. What i meant was how truth can harm one's self-worth when confronted by someone else's truthful statements about one's shortcomings in life. Some people who choose to believe that their shortcomings in life are due to an external factor rather than poor decisions or negative personality traits may react with anger and refuse to confront the truth when they're called out, because facing the truth is painful to their own self-worth.  

Expand  

 

Agreed. I have a lot of trouble with self-worth because it's very easy for me to construct a truth about my character flaws that is so hyperbolic that no one agrees with it. Is that a lie? To me it's an attempt at truth that backfires. It can become a lie if I realize it doesn't hold up to scrutiny yet insist on believing it. 

 

If I'm being lazy, irresponsible, selfish, etc., I try to see the truth in it, and correct that behavior. If someone is just trying to smear my character, then I try to recognize that and dismiss their accusations. Knowing whether or not you're actually doing those things takes practice. That gets into the truth of your character. I think a lot of people lie about their character to look good. I let people in on my flaws, a sort of warts-and-all approach, to make it less likely for me to misrepresent myself. 

Edited June 30, 2022 by Koko Ricky

[Azuris]

Yes.

 

Lying is nothing bad, it depends if you lie to protect yourself or somebody or if you lie to get yourself an Advantage or to even Disadvatage to someone different (or to hurt them).

 

[Solmyr]

  On 6/30/2022 at 1:22 PM, Koko Ricky said:

Agreed. I have a lot of trouble with self-worth because it's very easy for me to construct a truth about my character flaws that is so hyperbolic that no one agrees with it. Is that a lie?

Expand  

You previously stated that you're incapable of lying to others, possibly due to an unknown mental condition, so you're not lying to yourself by making an exaggerated appraisal of your own flaws. I guess it could be akin to an unintentional, benign half-truth, because you are looking for the truth about the source of your flaws, not making intentional misleading statements which is what actual half-truths are. 

 

  On 6/30/2022 at 1:22 PM, Koko Ricky said:

To me it's an attempt at truth that backfires. It can become a lie if I realize it doesn't hold up to scrutiny yet insist on believing it.

Expand  

So you're "liying" to yourself and you're aware of it. That's pretty normal, we all choose to believe in what we regard as true even when it doesn't hold up to scrutiny and we're aware of it.

 

  On 6/30/2022 at 1:22 PM, Koko Ricky said:

If I'm being lazy, irresponsible, selfish, etc., I try to see the truth in it, and correct that behavior. If someone is just trying to smear my character, then I try to recognize that and dismiss their accusations. Knowing whether or not you're actually doing those things takes practice.

Expand  

That's a sign of high emotional maturity and growth that many people don't have. As you said it takes practice, and i assume there are might still be misunderstandings from time to time, no one's perfect. 

 

On my part i try to see the error of my ways but sometimes i realize it when its too late and the damage is done, one thing for sure is that apologies are NOT enough, in fact many people treat it as a "reset button" and then refuse to work on changing their ways.

 

  On 6/30/2022 at 1:22 PM, Koko Ricky said:

That gets into the truth of your character. I think a lot of people lie about their character to look good. I let people in on my flaws, a sort of warts-and-all approach, to make it less likely for me to misrepresent myself.

Expand  

Agreed, a lot of people lie about themselves to build an idealistic façade, often that's out of fear of being percieved as somewhat "unworthy" in the eyes of other people by exposing some of their own flaws.

 

I'm aware you don't need to read this, but while you're honest and straightforward as a person by presenting yourself as close to what you truly are by exposing some of your virtues and flaws, you should be wary of those who might look to take advantage off of you in some way by means of emotional manipulation.

Edited July 1, 2022 by Solmyr

[ApprihensivSoul]

I'm human, so I lie.

I'm pretty painfully on the Aspergers syndrome range of the spectrum, so lying naturally can be difficult. But when I'm in a mood to intentionally deceive someone going in, I find myself frighteningly good at it. But I have to re-arrange my perception of my relationship with the person to do it, and it's usually more stress than it's worth, as a practical matter.

I'm also a pretty old-school Christian (classical catholic orthodoxy, not American Christianity), so I don't encourage or condone such a thing, because deception is a principal insult to the nature of the Divine, so my psychological issues and worldview tend to support each other in this area. But I also tend to find individuals are far more dishonest than they realize, and even an upstanding, earnest person would be horrified if you showed them every time they fudged the truth, because it's impossible to go through life without hundreds of cases or instances, most of them barely conscious. In this world it's a bit of a weird survival system. But I certainly have had the conversation where people describe me as "incapable of lying" because to them, that's their honest perception. And it's weird to me to experience, because it always reminds me of the handful of times in my life that that wasn't the case. (Usually involving trying to avoid discipline as a child.) 

So I think everyone lies, no one should, but no one can help it, really, outside of deliberate decisions of conscious deception, and even then we all have a few of those as well. But there are definitely those of us who have a psychological wiring that makes it hard for us to register that "deception" is an option most of the time, and I am one of those.

[Koko Ricky]

  On 6/30/2022 at 7:37 PM, Solmyr said:

I'm aware you don't need to read this, but while you're honest and straightforward as a person by presenting yourself as close to what you truly are by exposing some of your virtues and flaws, you should be wary of those who might look to take advantage off of you in some way by means of emotional manipulation.

Expand  

I've definitely had a few people in my life try to pull a fast one on me, because in addition to having an almost irrational devotion to being honest, I'm also considered unusually polite, as I refuse to yell at people and if I'm being even remotely aggressive I immediately back off. This combination of personality traits is easy to exploit, so I've learned to just push people out of my life if they're being manipulators. What I leave are people who I care about, who also care about me. 

[Scrabbs]

It’s part of my job, I’m a pro

[Alex S.]

Everyone lies. Even the most honest people will eventually lie. It's a human trait.

[BigBoy91]

I only really lie to people I don't give a fuck about. I'm always pretty honest with my fiance, friends and immediate family.