Doom Dad Jokes

[Arrowhead]

@Lutz

 

Not sure why, but this: 'A LANcubus' made me burst out laughing.

 

It is both the worst and best joke I have ever heard.

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

What does a Mancubus drive? A Mancubus. A MancuBUS. A MancuBUS. A bus. A Mancub... ah fuck it, you guys are too dumb to get it.

Edited September 30, 2022 by TheMagicMushroomMan

[dasho]

The punchline is Mancubist, and it was gonna be about art but I can't be bothered to make a good setup.

[kwc]

Mancubus jokes seem to be dead simple.

 

Spoiler

See, that was just a dad-sample.

 

[Dusty_Rhodes]

28 minutes ago, kwc said:

Mancubus jokes seem to be dead simple.

 

  Hide contents

See, that was just a dad-sample.

 

Okay this one is the best. Good stuff heh

[BonciuADV]

Why don't they throw any parties on Phobos? Because there isn't any atmosphere.

Why do they throw them in Sector 2 (Doom RPG) instead? Because that place is LEET.

Why can't the maggot dance? Because he's got three left feet.

Edited September 30, 2022 by BonciuADV

[Daytime Waitress]

2 hours ago, dasho said:

The punchline is Mancubist, and it was gonna be about art but I can't be bothered to make a good setup.

 

Did you hear the one about the grossly overweight Spanish painter who had both arms replaced by flamethrowers and denied any possibility of being a female?

 

Spoiler

Of course you didn't, what an impossibly unlikely scenario.

 

[JustAthel]

I personally feel as though Doom 2 Map 23 is the best of the entire set.

 

Every time I replay it, I always have barrels of fun!

[Zhaojue]

Ok, this one's for weeb doomers:

 

Who would be able to be the director/producer of a potential DOOM anime?

 

 

Spoiler

=> "Mankyû Basu" ... ... ... Toldya, weeb knowledge needed.

 

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

4 hours ago, Daytime Waitress said:

 

Did you hear the one about the grossly overweight Spanish painter who had both arms replaced by flamethrowers and denied any possibility of being a female?

 

  Hide contents

Of course you didn't, what an impossibly unlikely scenario.

 

Why did the wheelchair-bound one-armed, three-headed Australian Mancubus with no legs and a speech impediment hate The Revenant?

Spoiler

He just doesn't care for Leonardo Da Vinci

 

[Mr Masker]

Chaingunner? But I hardly know her!

[Quill]

Why can demons sleep so easily?

Spoiler

There was No Rest For The Living

 

[IcarusOfDaggers]

obviously the latter good ones are going to be missed.... like bfg... or soul sphere... or my personal arch nemesis, the while!

[quackbal]

:(

[QuaketallicA]

On 9/25/2022 at 4:03 AM, Stupid Bunny said:

Once I was playing Entryway deathmatch and I realized the guy from Twisted Sister was one of my opponents

 

You might say it was a Dee run-in

 

This one is actually pretty clever and genuinely funny. My favorite joke on this thread.

[QuaketallicA]

On 9/29/2022 at 5:00 PM, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

What does a Mancubus drive? A Mancubus. A MancuBUS. A MancuBUS. A bus. A Mancub... ah fuck it, you guys are too dumb to get it.

I can imagine Norm MacDonald making that kind of a joke lol.  (RIP)

[QuaketallicA]

Why did the Doom Guy cross the road between dimensions?

Because Samuel Hayden asked him not to

 

Why did John Romero make you his bitch?

The Longer the Icon of Sin takes to make a game, the Stronger He Becomes

 

Why does a Revenant scream horribly at the sight of you?

He thought you were a mirror and his reflection was morbidly obese.

 

A Pain Elemental's Mouth is also its Birth Canal. 

No question/response there. Just thought I'd point that out.

 

How do you attract an Archvile's attention?

Message it. Standard blood rates may apply to all Messages for the Archvile.

 

What's the best way to barbecue a skewered Whiplash?

No really, does anybody know? It sounds like a good dish.

 

What do you call the Argenta homeworld?

 

 

(In case you didn't get it, Sentinel Prime is a Transformer)

 

 

 

 

[PsychEyeball]

Alongside the Hell Knight, what monster acts as a mascot for Hell?

 

Spoiler

The Pain Hellemental.

 

[idbeholdME]

What did the Doomguy say to his chaingun wielding buddy upon first seeing the BFG?

- "It's a heavy weapon, dude".

 

What do you call a Pain Elemental that's been perforated by dozens of bullets?

- A Pain Emental.

 

What do you call a Cacodemon in Jamaica?

- A Cocodemon

 

Where on Earth were the most intense fights during the Hell invasion?

- Syberia, as it had the largest concentration of Syberdemons.

Edited October 1, 2022 by idbeholdME

[Gez]

1 hour ago, idbeholdME said:

Syberia

https://www.gog.com/game/syberia?

 

Anyways, who is Doomguy's copilot?

Spoiler

The shotgun zombie, obviously.

 

Edited October 1, 2022 by Gez

[Captain POLAND]

What's a Brony's most hated Doom cheat code?

 

Spoiler

No Clopping Mode

 

[No-Man Baugh]

Are you that Doom 2 Megawad made by famed animator and composer Cyriak?

Spoiler

Because it looks like you're Going Down!

 

[BottlecapExpert]

Your dad leaving for "milk" while you're playing doom 2.