What would you get Doomguy for Christmas?

[FelixTheNoodle]

Since it is the Christmas season (and thus the time of year when every single human being on the planet gets their ears assaulted with Mariah Carey's song we shall not name), I was wondering... what would you get Doomguy for Christmas? (Assumning he even celebrates it.)

 

Honestly, I'd get him a new pet rabbit if he doesn't already have one... oh, and some super shotgun and BFG ammo.

[spineapple tea]

A hug.

[fai1025]

a gatling shotgun

still thinking what to give in Lunar new year

[Womp the Cat]

A new bunny rabbit.

[EPICALLL]

A jumbo action figure,

Have you seen how big of a pop culture nerd he is?

[7Mahonin]

I'd give him some 12ga slugs for his shotty. He's got plenty of buckshot as it is, so he could sure use the sluigs to take down big demons with.

Edited December 18, 2022 by 7Mahonin

[xX_Lol6_Xx]

A DVD featuring both Doom Movies

^{(probably not the best present now that I think about it.)}

[MFG38]

A gift card to a laundromat.

 

I mean imagine all the blood and dirt on that suit. You'd think it'd be in need of a thorough washing after almost 30 years of non-stop demon slaughter.

[Sneezy McGlassFace]

A new map to kill demons in. 

[Mr Masker]

A copy of the original Doom, thus creating a time paradox.

[spineapple tea]

32 minutes ago, MFG38 said:

A gift card to a laundromat.

 

I mean imagine all the blood and dirt on that suit. You'd think it'd be in need of a thorough washing after almost 30 years of non-stop demon slaughter.

Every time he finds new armor he swaps out for it. What he really needs is a shower.

[Wavy]

Cacodemon plush

 

Speaking of, I want one too...

[Osmosis Bones]

a DVD box set of The Crown

[ASD]

A year's supply of health bonuses. Do they last that long?

Edited December 18, 2022 by ASD

[Gez]

A backpack. I know he can always use it, even if he's already got one, and even if he's already at full ammo.

 

Either that or a gift card for the Realm667 Armory.

[Ordon]

5 hours ago, Spineapple tea said:

A hug.

wholesome 

[joepallai]

A gun cleaning kit

[DannyMan]

A whole chainsaw.

[Naarok0fkor]

[Maximum Matt]

Computer area map, so he can go and hunt down all the secret areas when Easter rolls around

[Eurisko]

Fluffy rabbit slippers and V-Bucks

Edited December 19, 2022 by Eurisko

[Lutz]

How about an armor patch to cover his exposed stomach?

[HeatedChocolate]

A proper meal (Like how people from home shipped biscuits and whatnot to the trenches during WW1), them military rations probably aren't all that good!

 

Edited December 19, 2022 by HeatedChocolate

[FelixTheNoodle]

5 hours ago, HeatedChocolate said:

A proper meal (Like how people from home shipped biscuits and whatnot to the trenches during WW1), them military rations probably aren't all that good!

 

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he just feeds off the corpses of the demons he kills. I know that sounds supremely fucked up, but I imagine he wouldn't have any other choice when he runs out of rations.

[Shepardus]

51 minutes ago, aGuyNamedKeith said:

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he just feeds off the corpses of the demons he kills. I know that sounds supremely fucked up, but I imagine he wouldn't have any other choice when he runs out of rations.

B.J. Blazkowicz has been known to consume the blood of his enemies when his health gets low enough, so I wouldn't put it past Doomguy.

[HeatedChocolate]

This raises the question: What is the tastiest demon?

[AutumnTheNintendoNerd]

Pinky's look like they could be cooked into good food.

[Gez]

26 minutes ago, HeatedChocolate said:

This raises the question: What is the tastiest demon?

If we ignore for a moment the fact that demons are literally evil made flesh and therefore eating them means filling your body with evil... the pinky looks like a good choice. Somewhere between pork and beef.

 

For those who like it spicy, then the obvious choice will be the arch-vile. Guaranteed to be naturally high on the Scoville scale. Or is that the Scovile scale in its case?

 

The gamiest option, for those who enjoy the rich taste of venison, will probably be the baron of Hell. With the Hell knight as a slightly milder taste.

Edited December 19, 2022 by Gez

[phoo]

41 minutes ago, HeatedChocolate said:

This raises the question: What is the tastiest demon?

Pain Elementals are basically already meatballs so

[xScavengerWolfx]

I would give the doom guy a baby cacodemon, Why not? He could take on walks, use it as a bouncy ball and launch it from the BFG.