MyHouse.wad

[PepperAlien]

14 hours ago, ShallowB said:

OurHouse.wad

inthemiddleofthestreet.pk3

[Klear]

On 4/21/2023 at 10:55 PM, Gregor said:

So @comradesean is still looking for the release version of the mod. Maybe somebody here can help him out? I thought i had it but had actually confused the modified date with the created date. I downloaded my version on the 16th March, and unfortunately deleted any earlier versions.

 

  Hide contents

So, in order to find out when the first silent update happened, comradesean suggested opening up the pk3 as a zip to see the latest timestamp. I did so and found that it was the 12th of March. Jimmy updated the wiki on the 15th because of a silent update he had noticed in connection with the payphone trigger at the gas station. So i assume that this was the first silent update that happened.

 

One other thing i noticed was that the earliest modified date inside the archive was Juli 24. So anyone still clinging to the idea that Veddge did indeed start this mod only after receiving the floppy from Tom's parents after the funeral on August 7... well, that doesn't look to be possible.

 

 

Are you still looking? I looked in the obvious places when I read this comment only to find that I deleted it from everywhere already. But just now I found the file sitting on my desktop. Windows shows both created and modified 03 ‎March ‎2023. I got it first day thinking it would be a map simple enough to run on my standalone headset =D

 

Link

Edited April 25, 2023 by Klear

[shaokahn68]

intersting wad. i will try it

[Yessod]

Hi all! Just made this account to say that this was an incredible ride, and to share my attempt at reconstructing the underlying narrative of “My House”. This is based on the obvious assumption that “My House” is a form of transmedia storytelling (or “ARG”, for lack of a better word).

 

As a premise, I would say that a work such as this both defies univocal interpretation and encourages hermeneutical efforts (in the same way a Lynch movie would). The narrative of My House provides a number of elements that are only loosely connected, when not in mutual contradiction; this allows the proverbial “pieces” of the puzzle to be moved around and connected in different ways, to build a number of different pictures. All of them are possible, some of them are more plausible than others, none of them I believe to be final. In this, the narrative mirrors the gameplay, and the various paths one can take to reach the available endings. This is just to say that my attempt is as good as anyone’s!

 

(I also believe this part of My House, i.e. plotting the elements for a hypothetical underlying narrative, is not as good as the rest of the game, so there’s going to be some stretches here and there to square the circle)

 

That being said, here goes my take (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD):

Spoiler

 

---

 

First of all, what should we take at face value, and what should be doubted? 

 

I would say that in the context of the narrative, pieces of material evidence, such as the pictures and the obituaries, should be taken at face value; everything else should be doubted. Specifically, as I will try to show later on, Steve’s recollection of events should not be trusted: he is a textbook “unreliable narrator”. 

 

Based on the above, we’ll start from the following assumptions: Steve Nelson and Thomas Allord both died in Oswego, Illinois, on 03rd of August 2022. Even though the obituaries are not explicit on this, it makes sense to assume that Steve and Thomas were high-school friends and later on got married to each other, and that each of them is indirectly mentioned by the other’s obituary [note the artifact: Wedding Ring].

 

Thomas’ obituary states that Thomas died in his house; Steve’s obituary only says Steve died in Oswego. Note that Thomas and Steve lived together, as stated by Steve’s obituary. It is reasonable to assume, then, that the house Thomas died in is the house he shared with Steve. Note that the house Thomas died in and shared with Steve cannot be Thomas’ childhood house, as he and Steve were originally from Plano. 

 

Let’s talk about the pictures. People assume these to be pictures of Thomas’ childhood home. But this is one of the game’s misdirections. The first picture in the Drive folder is a picture of Thomas and Steve together as grown ups. Then we have the picture of a real-life version of the Gas Station; and then we have pictures of a real-life version of My House. What if these pictures are pictures of Thomas and Steve's adult life together? The Gas Station would then be somewhere they “stopped for directions” during a trip. And the house pictures would be pictures of the house they shared. If that is true, then My House is not Thomas’ childhood house. “My House” is the house Thomas and Steve shared as married adults. It is, to all effects and purposes, his house. It is Steve’s house, and it is Thomas’ house.

 

This makes further sense if we note that the game implies certain things about Thomas and Steve. Specifically, it suggests that Thomas was a cat person [note the reference in the obituary to a cat: Scrambles; note two pictures in the Google Drive folder, where we see two different cats, in rooms belonging to the real-live version of My House; note the artifact: Tuna Can] and Steve was a dog person [note the picture in the Google Drive folder, where we see a dog in the basement of the real-life version of My House; note the artifact: Frisbee; note the obvious Good Doggo and Bad Doggo].

 

---

 

Let’s stop for a moment and look at the elephant in the room: how can all of this coexist with the story told by Steve? Let’s look at the forum post, the journal and the game files. All of these tell an entirely different story: one where Steve did not marry Thomas, but rather found out about his death later on in life and decided to pay him homage by creating My House. Not only that, in this version of the story Steve would be alive and kicking.

 

Those documents and the story they tell contradict the one I have just told you.

 

BUT!

 

There is something clearly wrong in the journal. Throughout the majority of all entities, Steve never refers to his childhood friend by name, and simply calls him “my childhood friend”. Then, in the Valentine's day entry, he suddenly wishes Happy Valentine’s day to an unknown lost love. After that, he starts mentioning Thomas by name. In this sense, even though his recollection of events cannot be trusted, the truth sometimes seeps into the cracks of the facade he is putting up. 

 

I believe the following happened: Steve and Thomas got caught in a fire that erupted in the house they shared [note the Burnt Down House]. Thomas died, and Steve went into a coma for a very brief period of time, before dying the same day in Oswago's hospital [note the Hospital]. During this coma something supernatural happened to Steve. Whatever that something was, it allowed Steve to project himself beyond the boundaries of time (just as the House projects itself beyond the boundaries of space). What did Steve do with this incredible chance?

 

He processed his grief.

 

Caught between life and death, Steve made up a story that allowed him to process his grief in a way familiar to both him and Thomas: he made a game. In this game, he disseminated elements of his life with Thomas, as well as their broken hopes (a child that was “never meant to be”) and fears, all jumbled up together in a sort of dream where things got distorted and blurred into each other. Steve created a version of the story that was not too painful for him to handle, but whatever forces allowed him to do so jumbled things up quite a bit in the process. 

 

As a result, My House is filled with elements that call back to Thomas and Steve’s life, but in a way that confuses things that happened (a trip together, stopping at a Gas Station, the fire) with things that never were and that most likely came from Steve’s unconscious mind (a car accident, a plane accident, the Daycare, the Brutalist House, a Mirror Reality where everything is different but just the same…).

 

And yet, as painful as it is, the true story is there. Steve does not want the true story to come out: the Fire entry is crossed out from the journal, and to get to the good ending you must avoid setting the house on fire. You can collect all elements, process the grief, and be content with a finite life.

 

But if you go through the fire and collect the three “red herring artifacts”, you get access to Steve’s obituary, and from there to the true story. One that Steve could not tell himself, but that the House decided to tell all the same…

 

---

 

Well, that’s it. Could have done a better job of it, and there’s still a lot of question marks, but I realized this would have taken too long to be done properly. Hope you guys enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts.

 

 

Edited April 25, 2023 by Yessod

[MacB]

On 4/4/2023 at 11:02 PM, mankubus said:

Looks like you've spent quite a bit on this wad. I was wondering

  Hide contents

what do you think about the S+A heart sign? I mean, assuming Steve and Tom were a couple, wouldn't it be S+T? why would one use a surname for such a thing? you would typically use both names and not surnames. So this seems kinda odd to me. Maybe the A is for a girl, I mean the baby stuff, had to be a girl, unless they were adopting one or something. Btw the people in the pictures gives an AI generated vibe. Maybe none of these people even exist.

 

As for the level itself, pretty cool design, well executed. I was triping for a while until I figured out what was going on in the thread (I played the regular wad first). I wonder if there will be future updates with newer diary entries. Someone mentioned the file was updated (last update march 26th as of today).

 

Hiya, made an account to throw my two cents 

I just read the journal and 

Spoiler

S+A is probably someone never referenced by name. The valentine's day entry correlates that the author had a former significant other, and given the implication of the "I do" relic, it seems like an occam's razor that it could be his former wife. It doesn't all have to be connected to the friend. The several references to the kid in the wad could suggest an implied child between them, but that's more up to speculation; especially considering how the daycare room is largely based on the recorded nightmare. 

 

I'm here on this thread because I just finished watching a playthrough of this and words cannot even describe how amazing the atmosphere, dreamscape and sound of all of this is.

(Speaking of dreams, I think experiencing the wad actually gave me a pretty intense dream cuz this is the first time ive woken up from a dream thinking I'd have a heart attack from how shocking it was it lol. Seems like a coincidence after reading the journal)

[Bulletproof Pal]

3 hours ago, Yessod said:

Hi all! Just made this account to say that this was an incredible ride, and to share my attempt at reconstructing the underlying narrative of “My House”. This is based on the obvious assumption that “My House” is a form of transmedia storytelling (or “ARG”, for lack of a better word).

 

As a premise, I would say that a work such as this both defies univocal interpretation and encourages hermeneutical efforts (in the same way a Lynch movie would). The narrative of My House provides a number of elements that are only loosely connected, when not in mutual contradiction; this allows the proverbial “pieces” of the puzzle to be moved around and connected in different ways, to build a number of different pictures. All of them are possible, some of them are more plausible than others, none of them I believe to be final. In this, the narrative mirrors the gameplay, and the various paths one can take to reach the available endings. This is just to say that my attempt is as good as anyone’s!

 

(I also believe this part of My House, i.e. plotting the elements for a hypothetical underlying narrative, is not as good as the rest of the game, so there’s going to be some stretches here and there to square the circle)

 

That being said, here goes my take (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD):

  Reveal hidden contents

 

---

 

First of all, what should we take at face value, and what should be doubted? 

 

I would say that in the context of the narrative, pieces of material evidence, such as the pictures and the obituaries, should be taken at face value; everything else should be doubted. Specifically, as I will try to show later on, Steve’s recollection of events should not be trusted: he is a textbook “unreliable narrator”. 

 

Based on the above, we’ll start from the following assumptions: Steve Nelson and Thomas Allord both died in Oswego, Illinois, on 03rd of August 2022. Even though the obituaries are not explicit on this, it makes sense to assume that Steve and Thomas were high-school friends and later on got married to each other, and that each of them is indirectly mentioned by the other’s obituary [note the artifact: Wedding Ring].

 

Thomas’ obituary states that Thomas died in his house; Steve’s obituary only says Steve died in Oswego. Note that Thomas and Steve lived together, as stated by Steve’s obituary. It is reasonable to assume, then, that the house Thomas died in is the house he shared with Steve. Note that the house Thomas died in and shared with Steve cannot be Thomas’ childhood house, as he and Steve were originally from Plano. 

 

Let’s talk about the pictures. People assume these to be pictures of Thomas’ childhood home. But this is one of the game’s misdirections. The first picture in the Drive folder is a picture of Thomas and Steve together as grown ups. Then we have the picture of a real-life version of the Gas Station; and then we have pictures of a real-life version of My House. What if these pictures are pictures of Thomas and Steve's adult life together? The Gas Station would then be somewhere they “stopped for directions” during a trip. And the house pictures would be pictures of the house they shared. If that is true, then My House is not Thomas’ childhood house. “My House” is the house Thomas and Steve shared as married adults. It is, to all effects and purposes, his house. It is Steve’s house, and it is Thomas’ house.

 

This makes further sense if we note that the game implies certain things about Thomas and Steve. Specifically, it suggests that Thomas was a cat person [note the reference in the obituary to a cat: Scrambles; note two pictures in the Google Drive folder, where we see two different cats, in rooms belonging to the real-live version of My House; note the artifact: Tuna Can] and Steve was a dog person [note the picture in the Google Drive folder, where we see a dog in the basement of the real-life version of My House; note the artifact: Frisbee; note the obvious Good Doggo and Bad Doggo].

 

---

 

Let’s stop for a moment and look at the elephant in the room: how can all of this coexist with the story told by Steve? Let’s look at the forum post, the journal and the game files. All of these tell an entirely different story: one where Steve did not marry Thomas, but rather found out about his death later on in life and decided to pay him homage by creating My House. Not only that, in this version of the story Steve would be alive and kicking.

 

Those documents and the story they tell contradict the one I have just told you.

 

BUT!

 

There is something clearly wrong in the journal. Throughout the majority of all entities, Steve never refers to his childhood friend by name, and simply calls him “my childhood friend”. Then, in the Valentine's day entry, he suddenly wishes Happy Valentine’s day to an unknown lost love. After that, he starts mentioning Thomas by name. In this sense, even though his recollection of events cannot be trusted, the truth sometimes seeps into the cracks of the facade he is putting up. 

 

I believe the following happened: Steve and Thomas got caught in a fire that erupted in the house they shared [note the Burnt Down House]. Thomas died, and Steve went into a coma for a very brief period of time, before dying the same day in Oswago's hospital [note the Hospital]. During this coma something supernatural happened to Steve. Whatever that something was, it allowed Steve to project himself beyond the boundaries of time (just as the House projects itself beyond the boundaries of space). What did Steve do with this incredible chance?

 

He processed his grief.

 

Caught between life and death, Steve made up a story that allowed him to process his grief in a way familiar to both him and Thomas: he made a game. In this game, he disseminated elements of his life with Thomas, as well as their broken hopes (a child that was “never meant to be”) and fears, all jumbled up together in a sort of dream where things got distorted and blurred into each other. Steve created a version of the story that was not too painful for him to handle, but whatever forces allowed him to do so jumbled things up quite a bit in the process. 

 

As a result, My House is filled with elements that call back to Thomas and Steve’s life, but in a way that confuses things that happened (a trip together, stopping at a Gas Station, the fire) with things that never were and that most likely came from Steve’s unconscious mind (a car accident, a plane accident, the Daycare, the Brutalist House, a Mirror Reality where everything is different but just the same…).

 

And yet, as painful as it is, the true story is there. Steve does not want the true story to come out: the Fire entry is crossed out from the journal, and to get to the good ending you must avoid setting the house on fire. You can collect all elements, process the grief, and be content with a finite life.

 

But if you go through the fire and collect the three “red herring artifacts”, you get access to Steve’s obituary, and from there to the true story. One that Steve could not tell himself, but that the House decided to tell all the same…

 

---

 

Well, that’s it. Could have done a better job of it, and there’s still a lot of question marks, but I realized this would have taken too long to be done properly. Hope you guys enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts.

 

 

Great analysis. A different take from yours but inspired by it: what if the Steve's obit isn't real, but part of a "what if?"

 

Tom died, Steven never got to express his feelings, and the game represents "what if?" scenario(s) created from his grief. What if we had gotten married? What if we moved into his childhood home*? What if I was able to stop the house from burning down in the cat litter closet (or not?) Maybe we would've moved to the city and got a dog. Gone on vacations and road trips. Gone camping.

 

Also there would be an Olympic swimming pool and we'd open a daycare with Shrek, like every happy relationship.

 

In the end, he could never have that life, it was all imagination (movie set ending), but in another (mirror) universe he could be happy. Or he could've died, but it would've been with him. 

 

*PS1 turning into modern xbox, the only thing that makes me question the house's location of Oswego vs Plano

[ultra_kek]

1 hour ago, MacB said:

 

  Hide contents

S+A is probably someone never referenced by name. The valentine's day entry correlates that the author had a former significant other, and given the implication of the "I do" relic, it seems like an occam's razor that it could be his former wife. It doesn't all have to be connected to the friend. The several references to the kid in the wad could suggest an implied child between them, but that's more up to speculation; especially considering how the daycare room is largely based on the recorded nightmare. 

 

 

Spoiler

I keep seeing people making this "ex wife" theory, but is it really such a logical conclusion to assume that the significant other Steven mentions is just some hypothetical former wife who is otherwise completely irrelevant to the narrative? A hypothetical former wife who is completely unrelated to Thomas Allord, to the wad,  who Steven's journal, the photos, and obituaries otherwise never name, depict, or mention even once, even in the dream journal entries supposedly associated with said hypothetical wife, which should be familiar enough to Steven for him to bring it up when recounting these dreams?
Of the artifacts people are using as evidence for this, the ring and its "I do." message are too vague to specifically suggest a wife, and could very well simply be abstractly referring to any kind of relationship, whether or not a proposal was actually made and accepted or not. Meanwhile assuming the milk bottle's "It wasn't meant to be." message is referring to a stillbirth from this hypothetical wife would contradict the milkshake's "The kid needs a milkshake.", and this likely can't be a separate surviving child of Stevens' because besides the journals not mentioning one, the obituaries (which name every single other member of Steven and Thomas' respective families) do not mention any such child of Steven.
So in order for this theory to work, Steven has to have never realized or brought up how his history with his hypothetical wife may have to do with his dreams, and said hypothetical wife exists narratively just to serve as footnotes regarding Steven's life and to have her first initial appear in a carving at the end of the game, completely unrelated to anything else, when the narrative heavily implies that the identity of the partners of Steven and Thomas respectively is a mystery relevant to the story by very purposely leaving out any information about them, including even their gender? Assuming the wife is Thomas' may at least make more sense as to why Steven wouldn't recognize and mention the significance of the dreams in the journal, but again no such wife or children are mentioned in the narrative anywhere.

I instead think, considering the several hints the narrative provides towards the nature of Steven and Thomas' relationship, It is a much more reasonable assumption to believe that Thomas, in fact, is Steven's lost loved one. The obituaries use very vague language regarding each other's significant others, going so far as to use gender neutral language to hide even the gender of their partners, which implies that their gender is narratively relevant. The Valentine's Day journal entry describes Steven's significant other as someone they knew for only a short time and implied to be dead just like Thomas, and the way Steven refers to Thomas in the journal entries following all change to more personal language, as if Thomas meant something more to Steven than the previous entries would imply. Steven's obituaries' description of his partner matches several known traits of Thomas and vice versa: both were classmates and high school crushes that, according to the obituaries, met each other and got together years later. Both of them and their partners were runners. Again, Thomas being Steven's childhood friend that he seems to care very deeply about for someone he only knew for such a short amount of time (to the degree that it is the impetus for the narrative and for Steven's obsession with the wad), Steven's partner being someone that he also only knew for such a short amount of time, both of their partners in the obituaries being runners like themselves and being childhood crushes, putting two and two together... It just wouldn't make sense, logically or narratively, for Steven's loved one to be anyone else.

 

[ultra_kek]

2 hours ago, ultra_kek said:

 

  Hide contents

I keep seeing people making this "ex wife" theory, but is it really such a logical conclusion to assume that the significant other Steven mentions is just some hypothetical former wife who is otherwise completely irrelevant to the narrative? A hypothetical former wife who is completely unrelated to Thomas Allord, to the wad,  who Steven's journal, the photos, and obituaries otherwise never name, depict, or mention even once, even in the dream journal entries supposedly associated with said hypothetical wife, which should be familiar enough to Steven for him to bring it up when recounting these dreams?
Of the artifacts people are using as evidence for this, the ring and its "I do." message are too vague to specifically suggest a wife, and could very well simply be abstractly referring to any kind of relationship, whether or not a proposal was actually made and accepted or not. Meanwhile assuming the milk bottle's "It wasn't meant to be." message is referring to a stillbirth from this hypothetical wife would contradict the milkshake's "The kid needs a milkshake.", and this likely can't be a separate surviving child of Stevens' because besides the journals not mentioning one, the obituaries (which name every single other member of Steven and Thomas' respective families) do not mention any such child of Steven.
So in order for this theory to work, Steven has to have never realized or brought up how his history with his hypothetical wife may have to do with his dreams, and said hypothetical wife exists narratively just to serve as footnotes regarding Steven's life and to have her first initial appear in a carving at the end of the game, completely unrelated to anything else, when the narrative heavily implies that the identity of the partners of Steven and Thomas respectively is a mystery relevant to the story by very purposely leaving out any information about them, including even their gender? Assuming the wife is Thomas' may at least make more sense as to why Steven wouldn't recognize and mention the significance of the dreams in the journal, but again no such wife or children are mentioned in the narrative anywhere.

I instead think, considering the several hints the narrative provides towards the nature of Steven and Thomas' relationship, It is a much more reasonable assumption to believe that Thomas, in fact, is Steven's lost loved one. The obituaries use very vague language regarding each other's significant others, going so far as to use gender neutral language to hide even the gender of their partners, which implies that their gender is narratively relevant. The Valentine's Day journal entry describes Steven's significant other as someone they knew for only a short time and implied to be dead just like Thomas, and the way Steven refers to Thomas in the journal entries following all change to more personal language, as if Thomas meant something more to Steven than the previous entries would imply. Steven's obituaries' description of his partner matches several known traits of Thomas and vice versa: both were classmates and high school crushes that, according to the obituaries, met each other and got together years later. Both of them and their partners were runners. Again, Thomas being Steven's childhood friend that he seems to care very deeply about for someone he only knew for such a short amount of time (to the degree that it is the impetus for the narrative and for Steven's obsession with the wad), Steven's partner being someone that he also only knew for such a short amount of time, both of their partners in the obituaries being runners like themselves and being childhood crushes, putting two and two together... It just wouldn't make sense, logically or narratively, for Steven's loved one to be anyone else.

 

Continuing here because I kept having problems with the text editor (I just logged onto doomworld for the first time in ages to make these comments and I think these are my first posts on this site at all lol)

Spoiler

As to why the tree carving and sand drawing read "S + A", the interpretation I had when I first saw it and got the "good" beach ending was that it was purposely obfuscating the identity of "A" as being Thomas Allord, just as the obituaries obfuscate who Thomas' and Steven's partners were but imply that it was each other. However, there is something specific I want to bring to mind that nobody else seems to be noticing or bringing up:
When you reach the Airport Women's' Bathroom to activate the event and get the Medication artifact, you first walk in and pick up an empty pill bottle by a purse. Once you enter, looking into the mirror on the other side (which is already a reoccurring motif throughout the narrative) causes the area to become bloody and eventually summons in enemies making the bathroom dangerous, and when you exit, besides picking up a now filled pill bottle with the message "Feelin' Fine", the gender signs on the bathrooms switch, now making the bathroom you just exited the Men's Bathroom. What, exactly, can the pill bottle in the gender sign-switching bathroom mean narratively? To be honest, I'm not that sure myself; there's that much to support interpreting this as suggesting Thomas may be a transgender woman (EDIT: or transgender man, I forgot to add this) or otherwise that they and/or Steven may have had some kind of conflicts relating to self-identity, given the narrative I think is more largely about Steven's melancholy and regrets. But I do also want to throw out there a lot of notes on other parts of the narrative that may support this:

• Mirrors, as a reoccurring motif, already have an obvious relation to self identity, and in the journal Steven describes there being two versions of him, his normal self living miserably, and his mirror counterpart who is instead happy and able to feel a sense of belonging.
• Bathrooms are also a reoccurring motif in the map, in being the location of the mirrors you use to travel between different versions of the house, and there being a version of the house that is turned into a giant bathhouse (I personally struggled to understand what possible relevance this version of the house could represent until I considered this).
• It is also stated that Thomas' mental health "might have been in a very fragile state" at the time he died, Steven describing Thomas' sketchbooks depicting "death, sadness and despair." Thomas' cause of death is also never described, which may have had to do with Thomas' poor mental health that could be caused by dysphoria.
• Using this interpretation, the daycare dream, and the Bottle may not refer literally to a stillborn child of Steven, but instead more abstractly to the capacity to have a child or family. "It wasn't meant to be" may have more meanings than just the immediate implication, after all.
• Although this one may be a bit of a stretch since there's not much related to Thomas' name in the narrative, considering the mirrors again, if the real beach is the world of the mirror Steven who lives happily, perhaps the obituaries represent Steven living happily with Thomas and dying together without regrets, as opposed to the real Steven wishing that things could have gone differently, and thus in this timeline Thomas may have transitioned, not going by Thomas but by "A", either as a new name or as their last initial.
• EDIT: I originally forgot to mention that I noticed that the photographs in the google drive include photos of both a Boys Cross Country and Girls Cross Country. While the latter may simply be Stevens and/or Thomas' sisters sharing similar hobbies, I do think it is interesting that both are included.

I'm not fully confident on this, but I do think that there's too much here in the airport bathroom event to ignore, and given the existing implication of Steven and Thomas' relationship having been romantic these kinds of themes would be at play already one way or another.

 

Edited April 26, 2023 by ultra_kek

[ShallowB]

Spoiler

I don’t think we’ll ever get any solid answers, but the theories I like the best are that Tom and Steven are both the same person, different aspects of Veddge.  The A in “S+A” is his unnamed wife, and the whole thing is Veddge grappling with the grief of losing their child.  Half of him (Steve) regresses into videogames and depression, while the other half (Tom) moves on with his life and acts like it didn’t happen.  They both die when Veddge accepts reality and reintegrates both sides of the mirror into himself.

 

Alternatively, and a simpler explanation, is that Steve’s partner A that he lost a child with and his husband Tom are the same person.  Tom is a trans man (the pills that change the bathroom signs), and he and Steve had a relationship when they were younger and Tom wasn’t out yet.  They meet again later in life and again fall in love, starting over with a new relationship.

 

[MacB]

1 hour ago, ultra_kek said:

 

  Hide contents

I keep seeing people making this "ex wife" theory, but is it really such a logical conclusion to assume that the significant other Steven mentions is just some hypothetical former wife who is otherwise completely irrelevant to the narrative? A hypothetical former wife who is completely unrelated to Thomas Allord, to the wad,  who Steven's journal, the photos, and obituaries otherwise never name, depict, or mention even once, even in the dream journal entries supposedly associated with said hypothetical wife, which should be familiar enough to Steven for him to bring it up when recounting these dreams?
Of the artifacts people are using as evidence for this, the ring and its "I do." message are too vague to specifically suggest a wife, and could very well simply be abstractly referring to any kind of relationship, whether or not a proposal was actually made and accepted or not. Meanwhile assuming the milk bottle's "It wasn't meant to be." message is referring to a stillbirth from this hypothetical wife would contradict the milkshake's "The kid needs a milkshake.", and this likely can't be a separate surviving child of Stevens' because besides the journals not mentioning one, the obituaries (which name every single other member of Steven and Thomas' respective families) do not mention any such child of Steven.
So in order for this theory to work, Steven has to have never realized or brought up how his history with his hypothetical wife may have to do with his dreams, and said hypothetical wife exists narratively just to serve as footnotes regarding Steven's life and to have her first initial appear in a carving at the end of the game, completely unrelated to anything else, when the narrative heavily implies that the identity of the partners of Steven and Thomas respectively is a mystery relevant to the story by very purposely leaving out any information about them, including even their gender? Assuming the wife is Thomas' may at least make more sense as to why Steven wouldn't recognize and mention the significance of the dreams in the journal, but again no such wife or children are mentioned in the narrative anywhere.

I instead think, considering the several hints the narrative provides towards the nature of Steven and Thomas' relationship, It is a much more reasonable assumption to believe that Thomas, in fact, is Steven's lost loved one. The obituaries use very vague language regarding each other's significant others, going so far as to use gender neutral language to hide even the gender of their partners, which implies that their gender is narratively relevant. The Valentine's Day journal entry describes Steven's significant other as someone they knew for only a short time and implied to be dead just like Thomas, and the way Steven refers to Thomas in the journal entries following all change to more personal language, as if Thomas meant something more to Steven than the previous entries would imply. Steven's obituaries' description of his partner matches several known traits of Thomas and vice versa: both were classmates and high school crushes that, according to the obituaries, met each other and got together years later. Both of them and their partners were runners. Again, Thomas being Steven's childhood friend that he seems to care very deeply about for someone he only knew for such a short amount of time (to the degree that it is the impetus for the narrative and for Steven's obsession with the wad), Steven's partner being someone that he also only knew for such a short amount of time, both of their partners in the obituaries being runners like themselves and being childhood crushes, putting two and two together... It just wouldn't make sense, logically or narratively, for Steven's loved one to be anyone else.

 

At the end of the day it's a preposterous notion that any one person's take and interpretation of a piece of art is any more "logical" than someone else's. It could be referring to Thomas. It could be referring to someone else. It could be totally irrelevant to anything else in the story. There is not a single invalid thing about either interpretation, as the end result is ultimately the same experience about intimate loss and grief and the majority of what we are given to work with amounts to speculation at best and clear lines between the diary entries describing the dream sequences at worst. The ring doesn't even have to reference a relationship personal to Steven himself, and every allusion to children and baby bottles could be less literal. "The kid needs a milkshake" could be code for nourishing an emaciating inner child and "It was never meant to be" could be an interpretation of the miscarriage being a death of the inner child, which would be in tune with the general idea of losing a childhood friend as it largely concerns the death of someone who was a large part of his childhood. 

I get as passionate about my fan theories as the next guy, and I encourage you to believe whatever you wish, but it's a little rude to others' takeaways to insinuate your interpretation is empirical and obvious. 

[ultra_kek]

1 hour ago, ShallowB said:

  Hide contents

I don’t think we’ll ever get any solid answers, but the theories I like the best are that Tom and Steven are both the same person, different aspects of Veddge.  The A in “S+A” is his unnamed wife, and the whole thing is Veddge grappling with the grief of losing their child.  Half of him (Steve) regresses into videogames and depression, while the other half (Tom) moves on with his life and acts like it didn’t happen.  They both die when Veddge accepts reality and reintegrates both sides of the mirror into himself.

 

Alternatively, and a simpler explanation, is that Steve’s partner A that he lost a child with and his husband Tom are the same person.  Tom is a trans man (the pills that change the bathroom signs), and he and Steve had a relationship when they were younger and Tom wasn’t out yet.  They meet again later in life and again fall in love, starting over with a new relationship.

 

Spoiler

I had intended to write that I wasn't certain which would be Tom's assigned gender and which would be their actual gender, I'm going to edit my post now that you've reminded me (also to add a different thing I forgot to include) but I really don't think this specific angle makes sense when again the narrative focus seems to primarily be on the relationship between Tom and Steven, in a way more focused on longing than dissociation and/or familial grief. To me, the narrative of this wad is about Steven being haunted by the memory of Thomas and his longing for him turning to obsession, getting lost in contemplating different ways things could have gone, manifested through the wad and its growing control over him (perhaps Steven's desire to "finish" and "update" the map being the earliest manifestation of this and why only the version he worked on possesses these supernatural traits). This is especially apparent with the wad's hauntological imagery alluding to House of Leaves and the Caretaker, as opposed to the more traditional horror in which narratives like that described are more common like Silent Hill.
If had to describe my own personal interpretation of the discrepancies between Steven's writing and the obituaries, I think we are seeing the two versions of Steven as described in the mirror dreams: our real world Steven, to whom Thomas was a childhood crush who he now wishes he could have been closer to, and the Steven of the mirror world, an alternate timeline that may either be a supernatural creation of the wad, a construct of Steven's imagination, or a mix of the two, where Steven did enter a relationship with Thomas, as described in the obituaries, and died together with Thomas after a fulfilling, if short, life with them. The real beach ending may represent Steven finally coming to terms with Thomas' passing, given that its equivalent in his dream was in the mirror world, as opposed to the normal world in the wad, perhaps representing him finally achieving the peace that he could only imagine a different version of himself having. Alternatively, it may represent Steven becoming finally fully immersed in the maze of haunting memories, regrets, and denial, in how reaching this ending leaves you permanently on the beach, while the fake beach allows you to "end" the game using the clapboard, whereas the journals described the real beach as representing a finite, fulfilling life and the fake beach an eternal, unfulfilling afterlife. Either way, I think Steven's longing for Thomas is the most prominent theme of this wad, as opposed to Steven's relationships with anyone else.

Also;

 

50 minutes ago, MacB said:

At the end of the day it's a preposterous notion that any one person's take and interpretation of a piece of art is any more "logical" than someone else's. It could be referring to Thomas. It could be referring to someone else. It could be totally irrelevant to anything else in the story. There is not a single invalid thing about either interpretation, as the end result is ultimately the same experience about intimate loss and grief and the majority of what we are given to work with amounts to speculation at best and clear lines between the diary entries describing the dream sequences at worst. The ring doesn't even have to reference a relationship personal to Steven himself, and every allusion to children and baby bottles could be less literal. "The kid needs a milkshake" could be code for nourishing an emaciating inner child and "It was never meant to be" could be an interpretation of the miscarriage being a death of the inner child, which would be in tune with the general idea of losing a childhood friend as it largely concerns the death of someone who was a large part of his childhood. 

I get as passionate about my fan theories as the next guy, and I encourage you to believe whatever you wish, but it's a little rude to others' takeaways to insinuate your interpretation is empirical and obvious. 

I am sorry if I came off as rude, I only replied to your comment due to it being the most recent instance of this theory on the forum, and I haven't found that many other places discussing it, so it was directed more at general discussion regarding the wad as opposed to being targeted at you specifically (which is why I discussed things you did not mention in your own original post). I do not think that there is any such thing as an "objective" meaning or interpretation of a work of art, authorial or otherwise, and I will certainly admit my interpretation of the wad is likely colored by my own experiences. However, I am coming at this as literary analysis. While I am certain that there can be very well backed interpretations that do not involve the idea of a romantic relationship between Steven and Thomas (and am open to my own theory being criticized just the same), I simply think that this wife theory is a weak interpretation, and am presenting my criticism of it and my own interpretation to provide my own contribution to the discussion and analysis of the wad as a piece of narrative fiction, and intend no ill will.

Edited April 26, 2023 by ultra_kek

[Groplaw]

I think the confusing nature of the story, with no definitive answers that fit exactly right, is its big strength.

 

At the end of the day the story isn't about nouns and events, its a story of emotions; grief, loss, acceptance, and maybe giving up, and how you approach that crushing grief.

 

People can see something of their own pain in their life interpreted in the events.  Maybe its a gay couple that died, maybe its a child that died, a child that never was, a lost love, a divorce, a transgender tragedy, a suicide, regrets made, or just an old friend like the box says.  It really gives anyone some nugget they can pull out.

 

Its kind of a in a story superposition and collapsing into whats "right" would diminish it I think.

[Opsalugo]

I'm haunted by this. Few things have effected me so much on an emotional level. I don't really know where to begin with how much this resonated with me. I made this account just to talk about this because it's consuming me in the exact way Veddge warned of. I've watched every let's play I can just to see people react, I've read this entire thread, etc. I'm going to the bookstore tomorrow to see if I can buy a copy of House of Leaves, otherwise I'll just order it online. 

 

I have my own thoughts on the story, of course. 

 

Spoiler

So, the bathrooms. I'll be referring to them by the signs they start as, for reference. Something I think hasn't been pointed out so much is the one bloody toilet in the men's bathroom. Most of the blood and horror takes place in the women's, but one solitary toilet in the men's bathroom is filled with blood instead of water. Now combine this with everything about the women's bathroom. The hostility it presents, the pills that need to be refilled, the sign changing to a men's bathroom afterwards, hell even the photo of the girl's cross country team (While it could just be for one of the sisters) seem to point to me to the idea that Tom could have been a trans man. It's already been discussed but I think the toilet full of blood (Not to be too gross) I can easily see as Tom having his period in the men's bathroom, since that is usually why blood would be in a toilet. The women's bathroom feels like the wrong place to be to him, which is why it's so hostile, and taking the pills (Testosterone) upon leaving causes the bathroom to change into a men's room, now clear of blood and hostility. When we look at the bathroom scene like this, it all fits together. The possible miscarriage represented by the child that wasn't meant to be also checks out if Tom was the one carrying it. While many things in the map are metaphorical, the most literal reason to have a crib and bottle on hand while not having a child is expecting to have one, only for it to not be born. 

 

...At the same time, this raises other questions. Namely with the S+A at the end of the game. If A is Tom's old first name, and not just for Allord, would it really be respectful to use it here, in the good ending? The beach could easily be a place Tom and Steve went together earlier in their relationship, when he still went by that name, but it appearing at the most final point in the game seems odd to me still. On the other hand, Tom could be a trans woman, the hostility felt in the women's bathroom would still check out in a different way, and it'd explain the A name appearing at the end, as well as the inability to have a child together, but I don't think the rest really checks out, especially since Tom is well. Tom, in his obituary. If the pills were estrogen and by the time of his death he was going by a different name, you'd think his obituary would reflect that. I mean. It could be a cover up, since he and Steven's obituaries are extremely cagey about the fact that they were married. Maybe their families didn't approve. Who's to say. 

 

Wow I had a lot to say on that topic. But I have other thoughts. I'm gonna call Veddge, well, Veddge instead of Steven because there is always the chance he could be some other guy who's just being possessed by Steven's ghost to make this Doom level, or something. It's a bit less likely, I feel, but the fact that Veddge only mentions Tom by name in the journal after the Valentine's entry about lost love really does make me wonder. But anyway, Veddge's dreams don't always line up with their level equivalents. Some of them represent multiple parts of the game. But the dream about the bathhouse sticks out to me. After drowning in the tub, he describes it as a dark cave full of demons, illuminated by a faint blue light. What we see in-game however, is a bathhouse full of ghosts, with bright blue skies shining in. Yeah there's some demons in the garage area, but that can hardly be called a cave anymore since it's entirely bright blue sky. 

 

It's also just kind of scary that Veddge's dream about the beach takes place over an entire 3 days in the journal. How long was he asleep? Could he have been waking up and just not registering it, still dreaming that dream while his body worked on the map? That's if he was even alive at that point. He does speak of a million years passing as he sits there. In general I love the symbolism of the beach and the mirror world, and how it's described in the journal. "There was something comforting about being in the mirror, like it was my home.", He says. "Somewhere, in another dream, the version of myself that winked back is sitting on the real beach, happy and content, knowing life is finite, there is no afterlife, and happiness is found in the small things around us that we can control. Happiness has to be fought for."

 

And this is reflected in the game beautifully. The fake good ending is reached in the mirror world, it's a false comfort. Falling into an unhealthy coping mechanism, instead of fighting for happiness. Which, you literally need to do, as returning into the real world turns it into a slaughter wad. Even running past the monsters without engaging them is a struggle to be overcome, finding that beach in the pitch black darkness. It's an acceptance of what's happened, to reach that place. The fact that it's the only secret in the entire map says as much. Genuinely it rocks me to my very core. I can't stop thinking about it. About everything. Another thing I love about the journal is that trying to delete the pk3 gave a "file in use" error. Because of course it was in use. 

 

I'd love to see someone analyze the flight departures, also. I'm not particularly convinced there's secret codes in the numbers and letters or anything, but there's a lot going on there. Why is the flight to Dallas on time? The flight to Home being cancelled obviously says something, but why is it misspelled? Why does Cancelled start being misspelled before the listing for Home? There's so many things that make me wonder. There's so many things I'm thinking about, the way the song with no name, no artist plays at a car crash in the pitch black night is so haunting, especially since the song itself has a very dreamlike atmosphere to it.

 

I guess I'll leave it here, it's late and I have trouble arranging my thoughts. But man. Haunting. 

 

[Yessod]

5 hours ago, Bulletproof Pal said:

Great analysis. A different take from yours but inspired by it: what if the Steve's obit isn't real, but part of a "what if?"

 

Tom died, Steven never got to express his feelings, and the game represents "what if?" scenario(s) created from his grief. What if we had gotten married? What if we moved into his childhood home*? What if I was able to stop the house from burning down in the cat litter closet (or not?) Maybe we would've moved to the city and got a dog. Gone on vacations and road trips. Gone camping.

 

Also there would be an Olympic swimming pool and we'd open a daycare with Shrek, like every happy relationship.

 

In the end, he could never have that life, it was all imagination (movie set ending), but in another (mirror) universe he could be happy. Or he could've died, but it would've been with him. 

 

*PS1 turning into modern xbox, the only thing that makes me question the house's location of Oswego vs Plano

 

This works as well! I would say that the common thread of all elements is that they can both be symbols for something else or actual things taken from either of their lives, in this case they would work both ways (as pieces of a lost future). I strongly agree that the Mirror Universe works as a "what if" in and by itself.

 

PS1 turning into XBOX is another interesting thing, I read that as the "true" story slowly coming to life: you begin by thinking it is Tom's childhood house (ancient PS1), but then it reveals itself to be the house he shared with Steve (modern XBOX)

I also particularly like the first party of this theory (Tom and Steve being the same person):

4 hours ago, ShallowB said:

  Reveal hidden contents

I don’t think we’ll ever get any solid answers, but the theories I like the best are that Tom and Steven are both the same person, different aspects of Veddge.  The A in “S+A” is his unnamed wife, and the whole thing is Veddge grappling with the grief of losing their child.  Half of him (Steve) regresses into videogames and depression, while the other half (Tom) moves on with his life and acts like it didn’t happen.  They both die when Veddge accepts reality and reintegrates both sides of the mirror into himself.

 

Alternatively, and a simpler explanation, is that Steve’s partner A that he lost a child with and his husband Tom are the same person.  Tom is a trans man (the pills that change the bathroom signs), and he and Steve had a relationship when they were younger and Tom wasn’t out yet.  They meet again later in life and again fall in love, starting over with a new relationship.

 

There's a lot to suggest that the boundaries between Tom and Steve are confused, and identity is a recurring theme throughout the whole game. The possibility of Tom being trans is also convincing.

Generally speaking I am inclided to believe that the authors had a minimum-bare story in mind, and added on top of that ambigous elements that could either contradict the story or, through a premise such as my "it is all a supernatural coma fantasy", be layered onto it as additional elements without breaching coherence.

[ultra_kek]

11 minutes ago, Opsalugo said:

I'm haunted by this. Few things have effected me so much on an emotional level. I don't really know where to begin with how much this resonated with me. I made this account just to talk about this because it's consuming me in the exact way Veddge warned of. I've watched every let's play I can just to see people react, I've read this entire thread, etc. I'm going to the bookstore tomorrow to see if I can buy a copy of House of Leaves, otherwise I'll just order it online. 

 

I have my own thoughts on the story, of course. 

 

  Hide contents

So, the bathrooms. I'll be referring to them by the signs they start as, for reference. Something I think hasn't been pointed out so much is the one bloody toilet in the men's bathroom. Most of the blood and horror takes place in the women's, but one solitary toilet in the men's bathroom is filled with blood instead of water. Now combine this with everything about the women's bathroom. The hostility it presents, the pills that need to be refilled, the sign changing to a men's bathroom afterwards, hell even the photo of the girl's cross country team (While it could just be for one of the sisters) seem to point to me to the idea that Tom could have been a trans man. It's already been discussed but I think the toilet full of blood (Not to be too gross) I can easily see as Tom having his period in the men's bathroom, since that is usually why blood would be in a toilet. The women's bathroom feels like the wrong place to be to him, which is why it's so hostile, and taking the pills (Testosterone) upon leaving causes the bathroom to change into a men's room, now clear of blood and hostility. When we look at the bathroom scene like this, it all fits together. The possible miscarriage represented by the child that wasn't meant to be also checks out if Tom was the one carrying it. While many things in the map are metaphorical, the most literal reason to have a crib and bottle on hand while not having a child is expecting to have one, only for it to not be born. 

 

...At the same time, this raises other questions. Namely with the S+A at the end of the game. If A is Tom's old first name, and not just for Allord, would it really be respectful to use it here, in the good ending? The beach could easily be a place Tom and Steve went together earlier in their relationship, when he still went by that name, but it appearing at the most final point in the game seems odd to me still. On the other hand, Tom could be a trans woman, the hostility felt in the women's bathroom would still check out in a different way, and it'd explain the A name appearing at the end, as well as the inability to have a child together, but I don't think the rest really checks out, especially since Tom is well. Tom, in his obituary. If the pills were estrogen and by the time of his death he was going by a different name, you'd think his obituary would reflect that. I mean. It could be a cover up, since he and Steven's obituaries are extremely cagey about the fact that they were married. Maybe their families didn't approve. Who's to say. 

 

Wow I had a lot to say on that topic. But I have other thoughts. I'm gonna call Veddge, well, Veddge instead of Steven because there is always the chance he could be some other guy who's just being possessed by Steven's ghost to make this Doom level, or something. It's a bit less likely, I feel, but the fact that Veddge only mentions Tom by name in the journal after the Valentine's entry about lost love really does make me wonder. But anyway, Veddge's dreams don't always line up with their level equivalents. Some of them represent multiple parts of the game. But the dream about the bathhouse sticks out to me. After drowning in the tub, he describes it as a dark cave full of demons, illuminated by a faint blue light. What we see in-game however, is a bathhouse full of ghosts, with bright blue skies shining in. Yeah there's some demons in the garage area, but that can hardly be called a cave anymore since it's entirely bright blue sky. 

 

It's also just kind of scary that Veddge's dream about the beach takes place over an entire 3 days in the journal. How long was he asleep? Could he have been waking up and just not registering it, still dreaming that dream while his body worked on the map? That's if he was even alive at that point. He does speak of a million years passing as he sits there. In general I love the symbolism of the beach and the mirror world, and how it's described in the journal. "There was something comforting about being in the mirror, like it was my home.", He says. "Somewhere, in another dream, the version of myself that winked back is sitting on the real beach, happy and content, knowing life is finite, there is no afterlife, and happiness is found in the small things around us that we can control. Happiness has to be fought for."

 

And this is reflected in the game beautifully. The fake good ending is reached in the mirror world, it's a false comfort. Falling into an unhealthy coping mechanism, instead of fighting for happiness. Which, you literally need to do, as returning into the real world turns it into a slaughter wad. Even running past the monsters without engaging them is a struggle to be overcome, finding that beach in the pitch black darkness. It's an acceptance of what's happened, to reach that place. The fact that it's the only secret in the entire map says as much. Genuinely it rocks me to my very core. I can't stop thinking about it. About everything. Another thing I love about the journal is that trying to delete the pk3 gave a "file in use" error. Because of course it was in use. 

 

I'd love to see someone analyze the flight departures, also. I'm not particularly convinced there's secret codes in the numbers and letters or anything, but there's a lot going on there. Why is the flight to Dallas on time? The flight to Home being cancelled obviously says something, but why is it misspelled? Why does Cancelled start being misspelled before the listing for Home? There's so many things that make me wonder. There's so many things I'm thinking about, the way the song with no name, no artist plays at a car crash in the pitch black night is so haunting, especially since the song itself has a very dreamlike atmosphere to it.

 

I guess I'll leave it here, it's late and I have trouble arranging my thoughts. But man. Haunting. 

 

I love this, at this point I thought I was the only one who had noticed it.

Spoiler

I hadn't considered the relevance of the bloody toilet in the men's room. "A" being Tom's old first name would make sense if the S+A represents a tree carving done in Tom and Steven's childhood, and thus before Tom would have transitioned. Still, I think there's a fair argument for either way, I'm just at this point sure that something Gender is going on here.
Regarding "Veddge" I still subscribe to the interpretation I described in my last post that the Steven in the obituary is a mirror counterpart representing a hypothetical timeline (either imagined and/or created by the wad) in which Steven was able to be with Tom and have lived and died together happily, whereas Veddge is our Steven, who would be alive at least up to the moment of posting the wad. I do not think that comas and dissociative identities or literal ghosts are involved; there is only the wad, manifesting Steven's longing for Tom and trapping him (metaphorically) in a maze of lost futures, perhaps something that started the moment Steven began to subconsciously imagine a version of events where Tom survived by making a "finished", "modern" version of his childhood doom wad, and perhaps the real beach ending representing Steven finally being able to achieve what in his dream only his mirror counterpart could.

 

[Yessod]

This should be its own thing on Steam, it deserves to go big... Although I guess there are too many IP issues... I feel like it's the new Inscryption

[Moustachio]

What can I say that hasn’t been said… it’s a triumph of a map. This map made me feel things that I’ve not quite felt in a video game before.

 

It reminded me of when I played Grove for the first time. Hell, if they weren’t gone for so long, I’d be willing to bet B.P.R.D made this. A lot of the graphics have the same feel as the custom assets in B.P.R.D wads.

 

Great work, Veddge.

[Gregor]

54 minutes ago, Yessod said:

This should be its own thing on Steam, it deserves to go big... Although I guess there are too many IP issues... I feel like it's the new Inscryption

That's what i love about the Doom community. People don't make stuff here for it to go "big". They do it just for the love of creating something cool.

[HumanHardDrive1]

On 4/25/2023 at 8:41 AM, Scuba Steve said:

Okay, I seriously want a "myhouse" community project where everyone just makes a map of their house.

I want someone to oganize this so bad

[FifthElephant]

Dusted off my profile just to say this wad is very impressive. Thanks for making it. :)

[staros96]

*scrolls through all posts to avoid spoilers*

This WAD seriously scared me... I was so immersed. What didn't help was that a) I kept going down the stairs for a solid 10 minutes or so before realising it was a loop b) Whilst I was going down said stairs in silence (bar my talking) my phone went off by it's own accord which freaked me out.

 

This was beautiful, have recommended to as many friends who play DOOM IRL as possible because it really is limit-pushing from other WADs I've played. Sure, I've played WADs which are graphically different, elegant, etc etc but this is another level. I mean, alternate endings?! In a game which is (mostly) linear?! And the 'liminal space' feel is kind of insane, in a good way. I can't wait to play again and see what other 'paths' I choose.

 

I also really liked the mirrors. I got the first sense that things were going beyond different and into 'creepy' when I could see an undead solider in the bathroom mirror, but not behind me. The wall art was 'nice', so I didn't really associate it with anything too out of the ordinary aside from a cool trigger and environment change, so it was friendly enough. But the mirrors... now that was a sure signal that actually, things were beginning to get dark.

 

But, slowly and surely the map descended into what I can only think is the author's perception of madness - I was then told to go and read the attached 'Journals' in their entirety (h/t @DemoGorgonZola!) to educate myself. I hadn't realised the darkness within the map up until this point - I can't help but think American McGee would be pretty proud, especially given Alice was (albeit inspired by the classic) suggestive of her own descent into madness.

 

When I found myself going into an endless corridor and the music fading out, I got the sense that this was, perhaps, an interpretation of 'death' as well. Or grief. Something like that - but either way, the beautiful design and hopelessness of the darkened space (and that bottomless swimming pool...) went beyond a DOOM WAD and became what I think is more an exploration of our own perceptions of reality and perhaps a world beyond that. Life after death, pergatory, that sort of thing.

 

Anyway, long literary/philosophical rant aside, what I mean to say is that this a touching and, based upon my own experiences and from conversations with others, seemingly endless. There is no clear storyline/ending from what I can gather, leaving this open to interpretation. I'm not quite sure I've yet come across a DOOM WAD which does this. 

Edited April 27, 2023 by staros96

[giwake]

this happened to my buddy eric

[DavidN]

https://plush.city/@DavidXNewton/110273789495475472

Even as I continue to try untangling the bare mechanics of this wad, I can’t hope to solve the mysteries of what it means - the interpretations by everyone above are all incredible, and with the pills and the bathroom signs, I definitely think that there are some gender identity issues going on here! The theme of bathrooms being oppressive or dangerous places goes throughout the wad, and that could be where a trans person feels most vulnerable. I like the theory of the house being representative of all the different “what if” scenarios, as well.

 

There’s an odd thing I’m working on just now - for no reason that I can gather, the lines the player crosses when they leave the hospital bed will create soulspheres in the first house’s garden, the same as picking up the yellow key does! I think there might therefore be a way to actually reach them by dying outside the house so that you don’t walk over the lines in the doorways that destroy them, but I haven’t worked it out yet… or decided if this means anything at all.

[ShallowB]

It would be fantastic if there was more to be found in the hospital!  It’s such a weird semi-secret location, and it’s strange that nothing of note really appears there.  No endings require it, it doesn’t contain items, the berserk pack it gives you can be much more easily obtained elsewhere… 

[Catpho]

43 minutes ago, DavidN said:

 

There’s an odd thing I’m working on just now - for no reason that I can gather, the lines the player crosses when they leave the hospital bed will create soulspheres in the first house’s garden, the same as picking up the yellow key does! I think there might therefore be a way to actually reach them by dying outside the house so that you don’t walk over the lines in the doorways that destroy them, but I haven’t worked it out yet… or decided if this means anything at all.

Not in a place to try this, but how about getting the rocket launcher, exit through Underhalls, then return and commit suicide via the rocket launcher outside the house?

[UM-86]

On 4/28/2023 at 12:27 AM, DavidN said:

There’s an odd thing I’m working on just now - for no reason that I can gather, the lines the player crosses when they leave the hospital bed will create soulspheres in the first house’s garden, the same as picking up the yellow key does! I think there might therefore be a way to actually reach them by dying outside the house so that you don’t walk over the lines in the doorways that destroy them, but I haven’t worked it out yet… or decided if this means anything at all.

 

This is interesting...I've noticed GZDoom's item counter goes up from 3 to 8, then 12 and 14. So, there's 14 items -at least- to be picked up in total, but I have no idea about what triggered the change in the counter, as I wasn't paying attention to it when the number went up.

The first 3 items seem to be:

-The megasphere in the brutalist house.
-The potion in the airport.
-The berserk pack in the daycare? (I missed this one, so I don't know if it adds to the item count, but I'd guess it does)

I think those soulspheres might account for items 3-8, but...What about the remaining items? Is there any way to get all 14 items? What triggers their creation, and what are they? ._.

Update: When you cross the front door -or the garage door- in the house at map position x=2000 y=3000 (I think it's the first house) one soulsphere gets added to the total item count. This soulsphere can be reached via idclip, by clipping through the window. That might have been the origin of the "12" and the "14" in the counter, after several loops in Underhalls...

Items 3 to 8 seem to be the soulspheres spawned by the lines in the hospital, as shown by DavidN in https://www.doomworld.com/forum/topic/134292-myhousewad/?do=findComment&comment=2635207

 

Edited April 29, 2023 by UM-86
Update about the item counter.

[Bulletproof Pal]

14 hours ago, Catpho said:

Not in a place to try this, but how about getting the rocket launcher, exit through Underhalls, then return and commit suicide via the rocket launcher outside the house?

I was thinking the same thing and scrolled down to see your post! Just tried it though and it didn't seem to work. Specifically, I got the rocket in the gas station and went straight back to the house, did underhalls, stood near the pillar in the yard and blew myself up. When I respawned from the hospital, I didn't see anything different. Only weird thing was that when I tried to enter the house, it immediately reset the music and put me in the 2nd house. For the record, I was playing the March 10th version, not sure if that matters.

[UM-86]

39 minutes ago, Bulletproof Pal said:

I was thinking the same thing and scrolled down to see your post! Just tried it though and it didn't seem to work. Specifically, I got the rocket in the gas station and went straight back to the house, did underhalls, stood near the pillar in the yard and blew myself up. When I respawned from the hospital, I didn't see anything different. Only weird thing was that when I tried to enter the house, it immediately reset the music and put me in the 2nd house. For the record, I was playing the March 10th version, not sure if that matters.

I've just tested this on the April 16th version (tried both Underhalls & Sllahrednu, commiting suicide in both normal & mirror world) but it didn't work, probably because I had already visited the hospital. So it seems the hospital must not be visited before getting the rocket launcher.

[Kroc]

Just a thought regarding the hospital visit:

 

Spoiler

Has anybody else postulated that player death leading to the hospital and then returning you to where you were could be something to do with gender surgery, like the old person dying and a new on being born?

 

Edited April 28, 2023 by Kroc
(clarity)

[Bulletproof Pal]

 

17 hours ago, DavidN said:

There’s an odd thing I’m working on just now - for no reason that I can gather, the lines the player crosses when they leave the hospital bed will create soulspheres in the first house’s garden, the same as picking up the yellow key does! I think there might therefore be a way to actually reach them by dying outside the house so that you don’t walk over the lines in the doorways that destroy them, but I haven’t worked it out yet… or decided if this means anything at all.

 

Figured it out. I had to open the downstairs door to make the window outside appear and then blow myself up on this side of the barrier. Crossing the barrier sends you to the second house and removes the soulsphere though, so I can't figure out a way to actually get it. I even tried shooting a rocket at my feet to launch my dead body over the barrier but apparently that still counted.