stupid fucking doom puns 'n jokes (Thread)

[Ash4ash]

I'll go first

why was map06 afraid of map07?

because map07 map08 map09

[Maximum Matt]

*knock knock*

Who's there? 

American.

American who?

YOU NEED A RED KEY TO ACTIVATE THIS PUNCHLINE

[SovereignX9]

iddqdeez nuts 

 

 

(safe to say, I've really outdone myself with this one) 

[Insaneprophet]

How do to Demons in Doom make a promise to each other...

They Pinkie swear

[Shakariki Heisenberg]

• Why did the Doom Slayer bring a ladder to Hell? Because he wanted to raise some Hell
• how did the Doomguy feel after a long day of demon slaying? Totally exorcised
• What's the Doom Slayer's favorite type of bread? Soul(ed) bread
• Why did the Cyberdemon start a bakery? Because it wanted to make dough (cyberdemon thicc asff)
• whats doomguys favorite movie? the BFG
• What do you call it when the Doom Slayer throws a party? A Rip and Tear-rific party
• whats a demons favorite car? the hell cat
  Spoiler

  
  ORANGE CACO

  thats it 

Edited July 7, 2023 by Shakariki Heisenberg

[TheSlipgateStudios]

I almost died of cringe from this thread. D:

[Stupid Bunny]

https://www.doomworld.com/forum/post/2548108
 

I will never top this

[roadworx]

doom

 

 

 

 

that's it, that's the joke

[HumanBean]

How did the Archvile become a successful comedian? He had a fiery sense of humor that really lit up the stage

[HumanBean]

why did the doomguy start a bakery? to make killer pastries and to raise some dough

Edited July 6, 2023 by HumanBean

[Herr Dethnout]

Doom 3DO.

 

Spoiler

You can laugh now

 

[RataUnderground]

How much space does doomguy's life take up on the hard disk? A mega (sphere)

[INfront95]

Heard there is popular high definition texture replacement..... They call it HDoom.

Edited July 6, 2023 by INfront95

[FecalMystAche]

A fighter, a cleric, and a mage walk into a bar and the bartender says "Worship me, and I may yet be merciful. Then again, maybe not...".

[jaeden]

A fighter, a cleric, and a mage walk into a bar. Not ordering anything, just looking for switches.

[Domestic-Weirdo]

I was really upset when Klondike discontinued the Choco Caco (RIP 1983-2022).

[xScavengerWolfx]

I was a doom slayer once....until i meat a Cacodemon and we had a family together. Ah good times.

[pcorf]

Me: Pain elementals are awesome!

You: You're not funny!

[TheShep]

q: what's red and red and red all over

a: cacodemon

[Trollfestor]

On 7/6/2023 at 4:46 PM, TheSlipgateStudios said:

I almost died of cringe from this thread. D:

I thought it was funny for this exact reason...  btw, your post put me over the edge on making it even more funny. :)

[philcul]

How do you call a run where all monsters get killed by accidentally running into your extended berzerk fist, even though you didn't actively try to punch them?

Spoiler

a 'passive-fist' run!

 

[PsychEyeball]

Q: What's the name of the game where the Doom marine take care of flowers?

A: Bloom.

 

Q: What do you call the skeleton whose bones are shaking hard because of loud music?

A: A Reverbnant.

 

Q: What's the most boring monster in Doom 2?

A: A Plain Elemental.

 

Q: What did Flynn Taggart have to say about Major Arlene?

A: Man, she's a O of destruction!

 

Q: What would an annoyed Doom marine say about MAP09 in Doom 2?

A: This level's the pit!