Laying the myths and misconceptions to rest...

[OliveTree]

On the fourth day of 2017, the beloved and respected twitter account and source for accurate Doom-related news, @doom_txt, tweeted the following screenshot:

 

This tweet got 871 retweets which for the type of tweet it is is pretty high honestly. It was certainly high enough for Kotaku to make an article covering the quote, many redditors to post the screenshot within the Doom and Asexual spheres of Reddit, and for me personally to notice it and think "That can't be right" but not really decide to look into it until like six years later.

 

Alex Walker, the author of that Kotaku article, did a bit of research into it himself, and got the help of the guy who made that Pac-Man video the length of The Batman in working out which issue of PC Gamer UK would have included a 1996 interview with Carmack. The result was this issue:

 

So fact-checking that claim seems as simple as tracking down a scan of this issue. Unfortunately this represented my first major roadblock because seemingly nobody in the world cares about 90s era PC Gamer UK. There's only one public library carrying any copies of their magazines, but none as old as the 1990s, and several other resources for old VGM scans neglect to scan absolutely anything from the region. Admittedly, this much I understand, but it made my quest for answers a lot harder.

 

My next recourse was eBay. But eBay was no help either because again nobody in the world cared enough about this magazine to keep a copy. Which is nuts! It has an interview with John Carmack in anticipation of the release of Quake! But these words are hardly a treaty for apathetics and American Gamers.

 

This only made me more skeptical of the original tweet's claims. How exactly did Pulitzer-winning journalist @doom_txt's anonymous source even get their hands on this magazine if it's so hard for me to? It adds credence to the theory that they just made this quote up. Unfortunately, while a persuasive argument, it's not conclusive. The source could have just been British in the 90s and, as such, happened to get their hands on the issue in question.

 

But then I noticed a subtle detail about that tweet that previously eluded me. I was too laser-focused on the screenshot itself that I failed to observe the responses to the tweet. There in the annals, amid the unwashed masses, was this reply:

 

 

This competing journalist, who I'm sorry to say I've never heard of, seemingly outed @doom_txt's anonymous source. Despite a brief refutation from @doom_txt, this new lead was already out there in the wild, waiting for me to prize its endpoint. So, with a bit of digging, I found... not the original post itself per se, but a startling and upsetting admission from @beeface themself.

 

In this tweet, they claim that they made it all up.

 

So my investigation was over. Case closed. But somehow this answer wasn't satisfying to me. They failed to provide a screenshot with more text, for instance, instead electing to reproduce the same screenshot from @doom_txt's internationally-covered initial report on the subject. If they were the original writer, surely they could give us more context? It just didn't sit right. How would they have even known that PC Gamer UK interviewed John Carmack in 1996 in the first place if it was all a complete lie? Nothing about it sat right. Maybe @beeface was simply swooping in for attention, and had nothing to do with the original findings. Or worse, my gut sensed that, maybe, they had been "persuaded" to issue this statement.

 

I considered reaching out to them, but ultimately, I figured it would be a waste of effort. If they were afraid enough to come forward with this lie, this cover-up, there was nothing I could do to protect them against whoever @doom_txt had hired to "get" that statement from them. No, if I wanted to get to the bottom of this, I would need a source that was completely incontrovertible. Failing a copy of the issue in question, I resorted to my next best bet: I asked John Carmack directly.

 

 

His response is chilling in its own right. But, there you have it, folks.

 

This cover-up goes all the way to the top.

 

I was wrong in assuming that @doom_txt was responsible for @beeface's erroneous "confession". Global superstar or no, journalists like @doom_txt just don't have the pull to orchestrate something like this. Now I see that @doom_txt was just a pawn in a greater game, one where Carmack himself is merely the bishop. Someone higher up is pulling all the strings. I don't know who yet, but my hope is that by releasing my findings, I can push back against their dam. Let the floods pour out, you bastards. Catch me if you can.

[EvilSqueegee]

My takeaway from this is that doomguy fucks, but technically just in my head-canon that doesn't technically disagree with the established canon.

[Biodegradable]

lol

[Major Arlene]

out of all the canon around Doomguy, gotta say, this is the stupidest argument.

 

to be completely and utterly fair to all involved, at 2017 we did not have the canon that the Doomslayer had a wife and son (I'm going to make the assumption this cropped up after Doom Eternal released so that would put this canon existing from 2021 onward).

 

I really have no skin in the lore game, I just like rip & tear memes and cute Daisy pictures, but in a game where so much of the canon could be made up for so long it seems almost ridiculous to try and make this point, even just to be funny lmao

[dasho]

Oh he's slaying something alright

[Gez]

Quote

The Story So Far...

You're a marine, one of Earth's toughest, hardened in combat and trained for action. Three years ago, you assaulted a superior officer for ordering his soldiers to fire upon civilians. He and his body cast were shipped to Pearl Harbor, while you were transferred to Mars, home of the Union Aerospace Corporation.

The UAC is a multi-planetary conglomerate with radioactive waste facilities on Mars and its two moons, Phobos and Deimos. With no action for fifty million miles, your day consisted of suckin' dust and watchin' restricted flicks in the rec room.

Doomguy may or may not fuck, but he watches pr0n.

[Ozcar]

So doomguy is not canonically virgin? This is a huge insult to a virgin gamer (Like me) because according to john romero, doomguy was supposed to be you.

 

[mrthejoshmon]

Doomguy fucks then.

 

Ever since Eternal have released I have found it harder and harder to relate to Doomguy at all, smh, way to alienate the fanbase.

[OliveTree]

Fascinated by how I could post an OP like that and it just prompts people to earnestly discuss whether or not Doom Guy fucks

[Wo0p]

If Doomguy is supposed to be you then the answer is on an individual basis. Case closed.

[PsychEyeball]

Dunno if he fucks but I know for sure he fucks stuff up. 

[Andrea Rovenski]

fantastic thread, enjoyed every word

[thiccyosh]

Can't this thread be about whether Doom is 3D or not?

 

 

Also, Doomguy fucks. But he doesn't know what sex is.

[arsac]

[Perrito]

I think the dilemma is not if the doomguy fucks, but if the virgin doomers will feel alluded to. This could be a great study on incel culture.

[Perrito]

Oh i can edit. Cool. Sorry again :D

Edited July 31, 2023 by Perrito

[OliveTree]

6 hours ago, Wo0p said:

If Doomguy is supposed to be you then the answer is on an individual basis. Case closed.

counter point, the doom guy is also john romero........who definitely fucks

[Croaker]

56 minutes ago, OliveTree said:

counter point, the doom guy is also john romero........who definitely fucks

we can never be sure

Edited July 31, 2023 by Croaker
Misspelling

[baja blast rd.]

You make good threads

[Wo0p]

1 hour ago, OliveTree said:

counter point, the doom guy is also john romero........who definitely fucks

 

A fictional character is a tool or medium for a consumer (I.E a real person consuming a product [in this case a game] be they reader, player, spectator and so forth) that allows them to engage with a product and immerse themselves into that universe for entertainment purposes. Therefore a fictional character cannot assume the mantle of a person and does not possess a life of its own, with real life experiences, real life history, real life emotions and so forth and therefore your counterpoint is a non-argument.

 

*Blows bubbles from fake pipe and leans back in armchair*

[DeafPixel]

Finally some journalistic integrity

[Murdoch]

In all my near 30 years of being a fan of this series, I have never even once wondered about Doomguy's sex life. Or the sex life of any other character in a game I have played who wasn't named Geralt of Rivia. This whole thread is fundamentally ridiculous and I 100% approve. Ling's going to have to remove the quote from the Doomworld Patreon now though.

Edited July 31, 2023 by Murdoch

[Astar]

I already thought that there would be no more discussions like this in 2023.

 

P.S. Doomguy definitely fucks

[banjiepixel]

My Doomguy is asexual and aromantic. I am personally neither but I feel like seeing how much Doomguy seems to care about Daisy, I think it makes sense.

[openroadracer]

I may not be much of a fan of the lore that got shoehorned in by DooM Eternal, but I think that giving him a family would actually make the whole thing hit harder.

The reason why he focuses so much on his dead pet in the ending text of Thy Flesh Consumed is because finding out about the deaths of his wife and child hits him too hard, and he needs to focus on something else lest his grief overpower him.

[OliveTree]

5 hours ago, baja blast rd. said:

You make good threads

i try =v=

[Herr Dethnout]

So Doomguy is not our guy.

F

[BBQgiraffe]

I'm not reading any of that shit but Doomguy fucks twinks at Slipknot concerts, aaaanddd submit reply

[Caffeine Freak]

 

Yeaaahhh... after nearly 30 years, it's just now starting to dawn on me what Doomguy is actually staring at so intently:

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

Edited August 1, 2023 by Caffeine Freak

[Ludi]

new best thread on this site. i'm glad that important lore has been canonized. 

 

Spoiler

the quake ranger absolutely fucks though