What's your favorite pun?

[EraserheadBaby]

I get groans from people about my puns.

I just can't help myself.

I guess I could use some...

puuuuuuuuunishment.

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

I don't really care for the pun but I like the carrots.

 

[Ozcar]

"Guy 1:Guys, there demons in our house"
"Guy 2:Oh man, we are DOOMed"


Yeah yeah, i know.... shitty joke.

[Naarok0fkor]

Shotguns are stupid...

[Skullzrawk9]

Egg puns. I think they’re egg-cellent. Some find them eggs-asperating, but they crack me up! Once I get started, yolk won’t be able to stop me. 

[EraserheadBaby]

12 hours ago, Ozcar said:

"Guy 1:Guys, there demons in our house"
"Guy 2:Oh man, we are DOOMed"


Yeah yeah, i know.... shitty joke.

That's ok.  Shitty jokes are the theme of the thread

[thiccyosh]

A large zoo without any animals other than one small dog.

 

It's a Shih-Tzu.

[smeghammer]

OK I'll bite... 

Apologies in advance :-)

 

"Little Jack Horner sat in the corner

Spoiler

And got a square arse"

 

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Spoiler

Doug!

 

What do you call a man withOUT a spade in his head?

Spoiler

Douglas

 

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Spoiler

Cliff!

 

What do you call a man who's been buried in an Irish bog for 5000 years?

Spoiler

 

Pete!

 

 

What do you call a man holding up a car with his head?

Spoiler

Jack

 

What do you call a man floating in the sea?

Spoiler

Bob!

 

Edited November 24, 2023 by smeghammer

[Gmg]

Doomword

[Captain red pants]

Building on the classic:
"Hello Hungry, I'm Bulgaria"

[Sena]

From Rodney Dangerfield, "I told my wife our children are getting spoiled, she said lots of kids smell that way"

[Panzermann11]

 

[smeghammer]

I raise you...

 

[leejacksonaudio]

Arroz by any other grain would smell as wheat...

[MrFroz]

Mine is when you are just writing something, and then you realize that without knowing you wrote a pun. Then you have to clarify that you don't mean it.

[Max Louis]

As a part of garden humor, my favorite is "What is Bud Doing?" Basically, a wordplay on "What is Blud doing?"

 

[LegendaryEevee]

This is Onix-ceptible that Rayq-ua-za gift for Nurse Joy!

Edited May 19 by LegendaryEevee

[Maximum Matt]

Tim Vine is lord of the pun - 

[LegendaryEevee]

@EraserheadBaby  puns are Onix-ceptible

[VICE]

 

 

Related:

Women, would you rather run into a man in the woods, or a bear?

 

Men, would you rather share your feelings with a woman, or a tree?

Edited June 9 by VICE

[dasho]

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

[VICE]

1 hour ago, dasho said:

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

That pun is out of this world. Did you get it from Uranus?

[leejacksonaudio]

I used to do a news report during the Gulf War. It was sponsored by the General Schwarzkopf Slim-Fast Diet: "Give Us a Week, We'll Take Off Kuwait." 

[The Royal We]

my favorite pun?
cacetinho

[EraserheadBaby]

@The Royal WePun, not bun.

Edited June 11 by EraserheadBaby

[The Royal We]

Just now, EraserheadBaby said:

@The Royal WePun, not bun.

God, why does everyone sexualize the word “cacetinho”?

[EraserheadBaby]

3 minutes ago, The Royal We said:

God, why does everyone sexualize the word “cacetinho”?

I'm referring to a type of cheese stuffed bread.  This is beautiful.

 

correction, it's just a roll.  I guess the restaurant I used to go to just always stuffed 'em with cheese.  But really, that should be done to most food.

Edited June 11 by EraserheadBaby

[Maximum Matt]

I once entered a pun competition, I submitted ten puns.  I thought at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.