Favorite/Memorable .txt Files

[Kinetic]

Favorite/memorable .txt files for demo submissions?

 

I'll highlight skogsto's recent .txt of his lv31m158 because I'm lazy. It's a pretty sweet .txt that seems to briefly and broadly capture skogsto's lifetime in speedrunning this game, and it only solidifies his status as a legendary player in the community for 2.5 decades.

[vdgg]

Here you go. @The Green Herring 

Spoiler

This is a DooM .LMP "Competition" Entry - Please forward it...

M226R545.TXT

 M226R545.ZIP

  M226R545.LMP - UV -respawn

  Recorded using Doom2 Version 1.9
  Doom2 -File MM2.WAD -PlayDemo with Version 1.9

  Memento Mori II - Level 26 - Base Exposure

  Kills      104%
  Items       82%            
  Secrets     85%  and Time: 5:45 
                             ==== 

  Description :-)

  Last Sunday, my Windows 98 computer suddenly shut down and
  would not turn on.  I hadn't had this happen to me before, so
  I was worried to death about what may have happened to it.  I
  was actually concerned that the hard drive might have died!
  But soon, I began to suspect what really happened: the power
  supply unit failed.  In a Doomworld PM to Never Again, I
  mentioned this possibility, saying I wasn't sure whether I'd
  be able to record for Compet-n again, and he talked about how
  normal PSU failures are, and how easily the unit could be
  replaced, directing me to a cheap but reliable brand that
  could be ordered online.  But I wanted to verify my suspicions
  /off/line.  That is, I didn't want to make a random guess, and
  then have it turn out to be wrong... I wanted a local and
  reputable technician to confirm it.  And so, we called on
  our lawyer's computer guy, an ultra-reputable one, and
  yesterday, he arrived and checked the Windows 98 computer.  My
  suspicions were correct: the power supply unit /did/ fail.  And
  when we weren't able to get video from the computer even after
  we replaced the power supply, it turned out the modem card
  (which came with the computer, but I don't even use since we
  use a router to connect to the Internet) was holding back the
  charge meant for the video card.  Not to mention my mother's
  even older computer, which also apparently died, turned out to
  have "died" for /exactly/ the same reason, with /exactly/ the
  same video issue.  And so, not only did we learn more about
  computers, but my Windows 98 one has risen from the dead,
  thanks to a replacement PSU supplied by the techie, allowing
  me to once again play the vanilla Doom executables in their
  native environment, and making me eligible for Compet-n once
  more.

  But enough about my life... let's talk about the demo.  During
  the time my vanilla Dooming computer was down, I decided to
  practice UV -respawn running, on my Windows XP computer, on
  some maps that have never received a UV -respawn demo at
  Compet-n.  My first choice: Memento Mori II MAP26: Base
  Exposure by Mark Klem, a map designed by a man far better
  known for his musical output than for his mapping.  It wasn't
  long before I got an unrecorded time of 7:21.  I tried out
  some other maps, but I decided that when my computer is
  revived (if it ever was,) I would record on this particular
  one.  Once the computer returned to life, I went right into
  the MS-DOS prompt, switched on NoVert, and prepared to kick
  ass and take names anew!

  Base Exposure is a map characterized by huge, open fields;
  vast caverns; and towering bases, all caused by the same sort
  of gigantism that plagues every map that Mark Klem designed
  for the Memento Mori series.  It's also one of many, many maps
  from Memento Mori II that have not had a UV -respawn demo
  since the megawad's iteration into Compet-n years ago.  Only
  /four/ maps from that collection, for that matter, have even
  had one since the last update almost three years ago: MAP01:
  Outpost, MAP02: The Feeding Pit, MAP30: It, and MAP32: Dances
  With Demons, all of which were short and simple.  This map, I
  assume, has been left out all this time for the same reason
  the other maps have been left out: because of how complex they
  are.  However, this map only /appears/ to be complex because
  of how huge it is, when in reality, it's rather deceptively
  simple.  For all its simplicity, though, one thing makes up
  for its gigantism, and that's the massive amount of monsters,
  over two hundred lurking around the premises -- a fact that
  soon becomes apparent when you're doing a UV -respawn on it.

  I begin the level looking out into a giant pool with an
  ominous-looking base on the other side... but nothing else.
  Except for a shotgun and some shells, that is.  Grabbing the
  shotgun, I open the door to see a wall with misaligned
  sections lowering to reveal a few Imps and a Chaingunner.  I
  frag them with my shotgun, take the Chaingunner's weapon, and
  take out the Imp in the next room.  I proceed to zip along
  the railing to the eastern room, gunning down the Sergeants
  there and hitting the switch.  The walls lower to reveal
  computer mainframes, and I kill an Imp guarding a switch,
  hitting it before I open a secret compartment with a Super
  Shotgun, grab it, and exit.  "Why do you grab it," you ask,
  "when there's /another/ one just outside?"  Because aside
  from getting more shells to use, for some reason, the second
  Super Shotgun doesn't appear until you grab the first one.
  Don't ask me why, because I didn't design this map!  Oh, and
  the compartment doesn't count as a secret, even though it
  really should.  Why?  Your guess is as good as mine.

  Outside, I kill some Sergeants at the east end of the
  building, and then enter it from that side to kill some Imps
  and hit a switch.  Leaping out, I reenter the building from
  the same end, but this time, I go through the newly-opened
  doorway and kill the Imps there.  Behind them is a blue
  keycard.  But when I approach it?  Out pops a Baron of Hell!
  (And a chaingun, but that's not important!)  The biggest
  advantage to playing UV -respawn is that the more
  time-consuming battles can be skipped.  For instance, under
  UV max rules, you'd have to spend time killing the Baron here
  before you proceed any further, but under UV -respawn rules,
  you can just slip past him, take the key, and leave, since
  another monster can fill his place in the body count.  But
  you need to make sure he doesn't stop in the middle of the
  hallway to attack at any point during the process, or else
  you'll lose precious time.  And possibly your life.

  I jump out the window and then come across a bunch of Imps
  hanging out with a couple of Arachnotrons outside another
  building.  A building which is blocked by bars that must be
  opened with a blue key.  Unfortunately for them, I have to
  interrupt their festivities and plow through them to get
  there.  And so some of the Imps fall before me, and once I
  get inside the building, so does another Chaingunner.  And
  then a Revenant tries to stop me from a reaching a switch
  and fails.  The switch lowers a barrier in the southwest
  corner, while I snake around and introduce another
  Chaingunner to a double dose of buckshot.  The switch he's
  guarding lowers an elevator behind the barrier, but as the
  only adjacent sectors are the window behind it, and the
  barrier in front of it, you'll need to wait for the barrier
  to lower a decent amount before you hit the switch.
  Otherwise, the elevator will lower to a height that you
  won't be able to climb, and precious time will be lost.
  The elevator has a cell pack on it, and when you climb on
  it, you can also grab a plasma rifle, no matter what height
  it's at, even though it's supposed to be out of reach.  But
  more importantly, there's a switch here.  I press it, and
  run to the north of the building, ignoring the Arch-Vile
  making his unwelcome presence.

  At the north, you can look out the window and see another
  room in the building on the opposite side, blocked by some
  bars.  The switch lowers these bars, allowing you to access
  it.  This is the first secret.  To enter it, you must walk,
  not run, through the window and into the corridor.  However,
  with the DEFAULT.CFG autorun hack, this is impossible.  To
  move slowly enough to make it, I have to rapidly tap the
  "move forward" button.  If your timing on tapping and
  releasing the button is bad, you'll smack your forehead
  against the top end of the window and drop like a stone.  If
  you /do/ make it, however, you'll find a Sergeant and a
  megasphere.  I take him out, grab the 'sphere, and escape to
  the northeast side of the field, into the cavern.

  East of this cavern is the rather ugly base.  Here, you'll
  find Sergeants and a bunch of Demons frolicking about, as
  well as a cage containing Demons with bars whose textures
  scroll for some reason.  More puzzling is that they have
  some explosive barrels with them.  On the east of the hall,
  if you look south in the middle the hallway, you'll find a
  switch in the distance.  I shoot it, and then run further
  east to be greeted by a Mancubus.  Behind him is a BFG 9000;
  you can get it even before shooting the switch, but shooting
  it causes a door to open behind the BFG, revealing another
  switch.  Pressing it lowers the barriers in the middle, but
  also reveals a bunch of Hell Knights.  I ignore them and rush
  in through the hallway at the south end, BFGing the Demons
  inside the cage -- which is the second secret -- while
  simultaneously teaching them why you should never play with
  nuclear waste.  Taking the loot inside, I exit the cage and go
  west.

  Here, I take out the Chaingunner from a distance, and grab
  the rocket launcher.  To the south is a very long, silver
  hallway lined with multiple crushers.  Of course, I make it
  under all of them before the Arch-Vile at the north fries me,
  and I blow up the Demons that await me at the south.  The
  southern passageway leads into a fifty-foot drop!
  Fortunately, the Doomguy is immune to falling damage and can
  thus make it down there safely.  I jump down at the east and
  murder the Sergeants and Chaingunner there.  I climb up the
  stairs and merrily mow down every Sergeant in my way before
  reaching a switch.  I ignore the Hell Knight on my way out,
  and BFG the monsters in my way.  Killing some Sergeants at
  the two-toned door, I go up the stairs, and treat everyone
  that stands in my way with a super shotgun blast, before
  returning to where I flipped the last switch earlier... only
  another door has opened nearby.  Fragging the Chaingunners
  and Demons in my path, I jump downstairs and remove the
  Sergeants from existence before getting the red key.  This
  causes a wall to rise, leading to a bunch of rockets and
  cells, and an invulnerability!  Now a living (if temporary)
  god, I BFG the nearby Sergeants and Arch-Vile... and the
  Arch-Vile survives because my aim sucks.  After a small
  tiff with him, I leave and BFG people outside, before
  snagging some ammo as a Cyberdemon and a Spider Mastermind
  get into a heated argument.  Again, because you can get 100%
  using respawned monsters, you can ignore those two and be on
  your way, saving a lot of time.  I run past them and warp to
  the upper level using a teleporter found after falling down
  three holes.  At this point, one would wonder just who in the
  universe, on Earth or Hell, would build a base this utterly
  crazy.

  Getting the Demons out of my way as the invulnerability wears
  off, I run north and BFG a Sergeant and two Arachnotrons in
  front of a switch.  Hitting the switch opens a door in the
  northeast of the room, leading to some rockets and a backpack,
  which is the third secret.  I blast my way outside and then
  make my way to the red key-locked door, where two Chaingunners
  meet their demise.  Then I run all the way across the field,
  over a bridge, and into another massive field, with a large,
  stone cavern on the west side.  The first thing I do is to
  destroy three Imps and a hidden Sergeant with rockets, and
  then throw myself against a waterfall, behind of which is a
  switch.  Using it opens a doorway into the cavern, and lets
  out an Arch-Vile.  I frag him with the BFG and dash across the
  ridiculously tall pillars so I can get more cells (and other
  ammo, but most importantly cells.)  Jumping down behind the
  pillars, I find myself in a very huge and long tunnel with an
  army of Imps and Hell Knights, commanded by an angry
  Cyberdemon.  Fortunately, the Cyberdemon has a very nasty
  habit of shooting his own troops, and so I rush to the yellow
  key, BFGing any of his underlings who get in my way, and press
  the left switch, which lowers the walls to reveal a truckload
  of Lost Souls, a bunch of ammo, and a lone soul sphere.  The
  soul sphere is important to my well-being, and so I grab it,
  lower the pillars by hitting the other switch, and ride them
  up in the nick of time.
  
  Back outside, the Mancubi, Barons of Hell, and Hell Knights
  are at war.  I hasten the end of the battle, get launched
  toward the bridge by the respawned Arch-Vile as I run toward
  it, and then take out a Cacodemon with a rocket.  Then the
  Cacodemons and Demons in the corner of the field get a few
  rockets as well before I BFG them to oblivion.  I use one
  missed BFG shot to my advantage by running toward some enemies
  in the distance so that the blast damage gets them, and then
  I super shotgun the one surviving Chaingunner.  Dashing
  upstairs with a BFG in my hands, I open the door in time to
  reduce a group of Imps to viscera, killing a Cacodemon in the
  process, and then finish off the other Cacodemon with
  buckshot.  Grabbing the berserk pack, I stand inside the
  northwest window.  This is where you access the fourth secret.
  You're supposed to walk very slowly out of the window and onto
  an absurdly tiny ledge.  Of course, with the autorun hack,
  this is impossible.  One way to do it with the hack is to
  plant yourself against the west side and edge slowly to the
  north by trying to move forward, but this is not only slow,
  it's tough to do when there are monsters attacking you from
  different directions at once.  I got tired of this and soon
  started using the jump shown here, which I later found was
  used by Anders Johnsen in his old max demo.  The compartment
  here, which is what counts as a secret, contains a soul
  sphere.  Grabbing it, I drop off the east side, and kill some
  respawned Sergeants and Imps, as well as two Chaingunners,
  before crossing the bridge in the northeast.

  At the end of the bridge, there is a Cyberdemon in the
  northeast, but you can ignore him.  Murdering an Arachnotron
  with my rocket launcher, I make my way into a bar and blow up
  the bartenders with a rocket before killing everybody else
  with the chaingun.  In the process, I activate a switch behind
  the counter, which lowers a huge wall to the west and allows
  the yellow key-locked door to be accessed.  Why a switch in a
  bar lowers a giant wall, I don't know.  Exiting the bar, I run
  up the stairs in the southeast, which lead up to where the two
  Chaingunners I just blew up were.  But in the middle of the
  stairs is a discolored wall.  Pressing on it reveals an
  invulnerability -- the fifth secret.  Grabbing it is a good
  idea, too, because by the time I go back downstairs, the
  Cyberdemon is there to greet me with a rocket to the face.
  Running further west, most of the monsters are destroyed with
  the BFG, and then I kill the remaining two with rockets while
  they're beating the crap out of each other.

  Behind the yellow key-locked door are some Imps.  I kill every
  one of them with rockets, and as I proceed, a huge barrier to
  the west of the bridge in the northwest of the map lowers,
  revealing some Imps and the exit door.  But wait... the exit
  door is trapped!  Approaching it will cause an alcove to open
  with an Arch-Vile and a Revenant!  Fortunately, I'm still
  invulnerable, so I can take these guys down with no problem.
  This alcove contains a switch that opens the exit door, as
  well as a discolored wall.  Opening the discolored wall
  reveals the sixth secret, a corridor with a megasphere.  Which
  is odd, given that this is at the /end/ of the level, and by
  the time you get there under UV max rules, you would have
  /already killed everything!/  I guess this was meant as a
  bonus to prepare you for the next level.  After some more
  kills for the road, I exit the map.

  My first recorded time here was 6:33.  After two hours, I only
  managed one second of improvement to bring me to 6:32.  Then I
  started writing this description, and an hour later, I went
  back in, recharged from taking a break, and scoring 6:10.
  Then I finally got around to watching the max demos (including
  Johnsen's and the ones submitted by Eugene Kapustin,) and I
  returned to this level again, getting my final time, 5:45.  As
  with the max demos, I only obtain 6 of the 7 secrets, ending
  the map with 85% Secrets.  This is because the remaining
  secret is located on a sector not used in the map (sector 432,
  to be precise,) rendering it unreachable.  I hope you enjoy
  this demo as much as I did recording it!  (And writing this
  overly verbose description, too. ;)

- Eric "The Green Herring" Baker -
- eabaker@san.rr.com -
- March 23, 2008 (demo recorded on March 22, 2008) -
 

 

[xit-vono]

Method Man's txt files were pretty great. I remember he had one where he said Christina Aguilera is cat.

[El Juancho]

j4rio stardate 01 uv-max txt file is still hilarious even to this today, pure hatred 

 

Spoiler

 

Pwad: stardate20x6.wad   
Map:      1
Skill:     4
Category:  UV-Max
Exe:       GLBoom+ v2.5.1.3
Time:      4:59

-complevel 9

Author:       j4rio

Yay, I did a wonderful 1 second improvement. As zzul stated, a fun map indeed. If you're not trying to speedrun, that is. 
The map is garbage for speedrunning. Complete fucking load of bullshit, in fact, just to be more precise.

"Oh man, he is so quirky, surely he must be exaggerating for the sake of this tired forced comedy." - You say to yourself.

"No! Shut up, you clueless moron!". - I lash out at you, baring my teeth in anger and frustration.  

In fact, the map is such a hot pile of garbage, that I'm bringing in a wonderful new segment into this show. Prepare yourself
for an unprecedented event, because you're about to witness the world's premiere of what I'm going to trademark in Hollywood
under the moniker of "100 reasons this map is utter fucking garbage for speedrunning." So let's just get right into it!

 

Reasons this map is garbage nr.1 : The Backpack
Do you see that tiny little barely noticeable backpack sticking out of one of the curvy closets revealed after I grab a chaingun?
No, you don't, because all of its shiny pixels are blocked by this fucking zombie moron standing in my way, preventing me from
picking it up. I need to pick it up. This brings us to

 

Reasons this map is garbage nr.2 : The Zombie Standing On Backpack
This is the guy blocking the backpack. Besides the usual moronic traits he shares with his comrades, this one in particular 
actually wields godly superpowers of the doom engine itself. Don't believe me? Try it yourself! Run up to him with your trusty
shotgun and watch as your pellets fly right through him, either causing just few scratches or many times no harm whatsoever.
As you watch this ungodly heresy unfolding right in front of your eyes, all that's left for you is pondering if your trusty
shotgun is not so trusty after all, oh and eating shotgun lead from the now alerted zombie you just wasted your pellets on.   
Could it be magic itself? Are we all just living in a weird simulation and this is a glitch left by the very gods themselves? 
Fuck if I know, but that's how it be. Thankfully, a chaingun I obtained seems to partially fix this glitch in matrix itself.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.3. The Zombie Teleporting Onto The Corpse Of The Zombie That Used To Stand On The Backpack
So you finally solved the matrix glitch and the path to shiny pixels of the backpack is finally free. But your happiness is 
anything but shortlived, as your dreams are about to be shattered again very soon. As the chaingunned corpse of the guardian 
zombie hits the ground, the satisfaction not even properly setted in, another zombie suddenly stands in its place, refusing
to let you grab the beautiful pixelated mess of a backpack still firmly settled onto the ground. You ragequit in anger. Back 
to the drawing board. You cannot let this happen at all. So you device a half-baked strategy. As you run to the backpack, with
readied chaingun in your hands, you give a surprise hug to the matrix defying guardian. The manliest hug ever. As the dizzied 
zombie desperately tries to figure out what is happenning, you pull off a chaingun sneak attack and occupy his spot to prevent 
any teleportation from happenning, finally grabbing the wonderful backpack. But much to your displeasure, this is anything but 
guaranteed. Many times you find yourself in an unwanted presense of the nasty teleportation pixels, which are but a speck of a
sign of frustration that you are soon about to endure. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.4. : A Demon That Chews On Your Ass While You Are Grabbing The Backpack
I know you thought the backpack saga is over, but there is still a nail in the coffin missing. You see that ugly demon ass 
flashing at you as you open the very first door? We are talking about the bastard to the left. He is an angry dude and really 
doesn't like the thought of you grabbing that backpack. He does everything its single digit IQ allows it to prevent you from
having it and sometimes even manages to do a halfdecent job. The curvy mess of linedefs that are enclosing this backpack
sanctuary really helps it to neutralize you as well. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.5-6 : Two Dumbass Chaingunners
As you finally make your way out of the first room, the first (and second) lovely thing to greet you is a chaingunner duo,
parading in a metallic alcove ready to share some perforating love. Hope you prayed to your entities today so they are not 
particularly grumpy. It usually didn't work so well with mine.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.7-8 : Two Fucking Fatass Mancubines Blocking Your Way
Blitzing your way past chaingunners, the next goal is pressing a button that's blocked by a landslide of hot fat. The amount
of space these lards occupy is unnerving and the hot death they readily serve is appaling. Dodging is futile, it's all in the
hands of your entities again. But it doesn't end there.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.9-10 : Two Fucktard Revenants Revealed After You Press That Button
On its own, these guys would not be so bad. But combined with the previous entry, I'm sure you can put 2+2 together. The answer
in this case is hopefully less than 4. Too bad the hot mess spewed at you as try some manevuering here usually just means that
you'll dodge right into incoming projectiles. That has its reasons, too.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.11 : The Mess Of Linedefs All Over The Perimeter Of This Room
Just look at them. With all those sticky linedefs there, no wonder you can't dodge for shit. Whenever you touch a wall here, it's
almost as if the map geometry itself was trying to eat you, mocking you as you are bouncing back and forth in directions that you
can't fathom how your inputs could create. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.12 : The Crappy Lift That You Need To Hop On After You Press That Damn Switch
Yeah, the way ahead is by jumping onto a lift while all the mess is happenning in the room. Too bad this means you are vulnerable
to any projectiles while you are standing on it. You can also try not standing on it and dodge, completely missing the lift in
the process.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.13-15 : The Imp Trio Guarding Another Switch That I Have To Press Now 
These guys are a bunch of fuckmonkeys. They really like hauling their ass right in front of that switch and make me evoke my inner
anger towards them. With just shotgun at this point, they are also surprisingly skilled at surviving point blank hits. Yeah, just
fuck them. 

Reason this map is garbage

 

nr.16 : The Switch Guarded By An Imp Trio
Yeah, and fuck that switch too. It's a really wonderful feeling trying to bump that goddamn switch while being a victim of ruthless 
violation by a bunch of imps. An especially great sensation can be felt when you smash it while it's right in the very centre of 
your fucking screen and the doommoron just loudly oomphs and proceeds to drop down, far away from any reach of this filthy button. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.17 : The Baron Of Blocking Armor From You
As you grab an ssg when you escape from abominable imp penetrators, I proceed to grab some armor in the deep underground tunnel.
Then there's this guy. He's not so bad, though, kinda lazy most of the time. But damn, other times it's almost as if a keg of
kool-aid just kicked in and suddenly you can't escape his grasp. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.18 : The Heap Of Demons Revealed After You Grab That Armor
These guys, on the other hand, are a bunch of sleazy suckers. If that lazy baron dude has a lucky frag streak, it's because one of
these guys managed to get in the way. Afterwards, they are anything but lethal, but goddamn are they annoying to take out. And you
need to take them out at some point. With just ssg at this point, I make a run for it and get back onto the main platform using a 
crappy elevator and leave them for later. That's when their annoyance will start to shine.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.19-20 : Two Medkits In Tunnels That I Can't Pick Up Because They Are Blocked By Those Demons
Goddamn these just piss me off as they taunt me while I'm making my way back, fully aware that my attempts at grabbing them are
completely futile, because that would just waste too much time. As I'm waiting for the elevator, there's still no realistic way
to grab one and manage to catch the lift, because there's this bunch of demons I just released.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.21 : Platforms I Have To Traverse Now
Ah yes, it wouldn't be a garbage map if it didn't include at least some form of platforming. These are mostly benign, but can still
claim their fair share of failures when you're zoning out from constant resets. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.22 : The Metallic Miniledge That Doommoron Keeps Jumping On Instead Of Grabbing A Pair Of Rockets
After you successfully glide through those platforms, there are these two lone rocket grabs just sitting there, completely unguarded. 
You'd think there's no possible way grabbing these to cause any trouble whatsoever. You gullible fool! As you cluelessly make a run 
for them, an unexpected enemy reveals itself. Suddenly, you find yourself levitating upon a femtometer wide metallic ledge and the 
rocket grab you were eagerly expecting to happen got totally cancelled. The rocket is still standing below you, emotionless, unaware
of the struggle you are going through right now. Before you can properly process what is even happenning, an imp few kilometres above
you is already scratching your head, somehow defying all laws of physics.  

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.23-25 : Another Imp Trio
After a mighty struggle with rockets, we move onwards deeper into the level. The first blockade in the way is a hefty imp trio, as
violent as the first one. This time we have ssg, but these guys seem to have preemptively prepared for exactly that and positioned
themselves in the most irritating way imaginable. No matter how you land the shot, one always leaves the carnage alive ready to do his
thing.
 
Reasons this map is garbage nr.26-28 : A Chaingunner Trio
In case previous imp encounter didn't satisfy your libido, here we have almost the exact same scenario except those imps are now even
more pissed off, more chaingunny and more lethal. What's worse, you can't just shoot and run to the next goal straight away. This room
hosts a double-switch and you need to press them both. The only viable approach time-wise is landing one shot at two of them, hit those
switches during reloading animation and then take the final killing blow. If this doesn't sound like a menacing load of garbage, I don't 
know what more to tell you.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.29-30 : Those Two Goddamn Switches You Have To Press While Being Perforated By The Chaingunner Trio
Fuck them so hard, especially the one in the back that reveals a secret.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.31 : A Revenant Doing His Revenanty Things While You Are Struggling With Chaingunners And Switches
Just in case this wasn't enough of a garbage, here's another revenant. Enjoy.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.32 : A Pain Elemental
The next goal is a room with rocket launcher. After you press the accursed double switch and manage to live through, a heap of monsters
gets revealed in the back. We leave that mess and make a run for a rocket launcher inside a mini room with a bunch of squares on the ground.
This reveals 2 cacos and a pain elemental teleports in. He is naturally the main target now, so you greet him with your freshly acquired 
new arsenal entry. He doesn't like that, so he puts a curse on your rocket launcher. Now, whenever you shoot him, your rockets go magically
up above him, around him, into a caco that decides to go full kamikaze or into one or two of his children he spawns within miliseconds.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.33 : A Random Revenant Ball Out Of Nowhere Hitting You While You Are Trying To Remove The Pain Elemental
And with nowhere to dodge, to boot! Well, you can dodge, but doing so raises the odds of pain elemental surviving into almost certain 100%.   

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.34 : A Random Baron Of Hell Ball Out Of Nowhere Hitting You While You Are Trying To Remove The Pain Elemental
Yeah, that too.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.35 : A Random Revenant Standing Exactly On The Spot Where The Pain Elemental Is Supposed To Teleport
Always a pleasure.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.36-37 : Those Two Cacos I Just Talked About Earlier
These guys royally suck. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.38 : A Microscopic Switch You Have To Shoot While Being Caressed By These Two Dumbass Cacos
In case that red lard getting in the way wasn't enough, you also have to unsheathe a microscope to locate this abominable switch to reveal
a berserk secret.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.39 : A Microscopic Switch You Have To Shoot While Being Caressed By These Two Dumbass Cacos
Because fuck this one in particular. Sometimes even point blank ssg somehow manages to fail to trigger it.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.40 : A Bunch Of Freshly Spawned Lost Souls From Pain Elemental Explosion Blocking You From Getting That Berserk
Bonus garbage points for charging into a caco and then somehow creating an anti-gravitational phenomenon which raises both the charged caco
and that lost soul right up to the ceiling, then blocking me by their wonderful infinitelytallness.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.41 : Another Secret In This Room Has An Uncomfortably Small Entry Point
By falling into a hatch in the corner of the room, we reach another secret. The falling into it is the part I have problems with. If that hole
was, like, a pixel smaller, you'd have to glide into it. Especially great stuff with cacos and souls in the room.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.42-43 : Those Two Rockets You Need To Grab In This Room Before Falling Into The Secret Hole
Yeah, that too. Did I mention those two cacos royally suck? I hope this sufficiently explains why.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.44 : A Revenant That Is Punching You As You Teleport Out Of That Secret Hole
Somehow, this guy knows exactly where you're about to teleport once you leave that secret. Given the frequency, I presume he just preemptively 
punches that spot.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.45 : All The Previously Revealed Crap Blocking Your Way Ahead Now
The next destination is a room housing RK. To get there, you only have to squeeze through a baron, bunch of revenants, spectres and imps camping
on and around stairs leading up to it. Hope you're feeling lucky today. Again.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.46 : The Bajillion Imps Revealed On Ledges In The Room You Just Somehow Managed To Squeeze Into
And I hate every single one of them.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.47-48 : The Mancubus Duo Revealed In The Room You Just Somehow Managed To Squeeze Into
An obvious fodder for imp infighting, but damn they are really disobedient at that.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.49 : Nothing Revealed In The Room You Just Somehow Managed To Squeeze Into
Because you tripped over the line that was meant to do the revealing.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.50 : Another Fucking Switch In The Middle Of The Room
And your chances of not managing to activate it are roughly as high as all previous ones.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.51 : A Load Of Revenants Teleporting Around The Entrance To This Room After You Press That Switch
These guys coupled with all the crap already going on in the room are especially lethal. I went for the rocket launcher here, because ssg 
seemed a little bit too slow.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.52 : A Load Of Revenants Not Teleporting Around The Entrance To This Room After You Press That Switch
Because a baron or some other stupid lard is firmly standing or infighting right on top of their teleporting destination. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.53 : You Start Shooting Rockets At That Load Of Revenants, But A Baron Gets In The Way Instead
And gladly eats all the rockets in their place.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.54 : You Start Shooting Rockets At That Load Of Revenants, But A Spectre Gets In The Way Instead
Bonus garbage points for surviving a full rocket hit.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.55 : You Start Shooting Rockets At That Load Of Revenants, But A Mancubus Gets In The Way Instead
Just a reminder that those guys are still here.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.56 : Cleaning Up All The Shit Here
This is such a magnificently annoying clean-up. After successfully taking out that revenant trash, you still need all the leftover crap dead. This
involves more revenants, a baron, spectres, mancs, those 2 goddamn cacos and a bunch of lost souls as the only reminder of that one pain elemental.
Imp ledges are ignored for now. As all your hard earned rockets are rather scarce, this is taken care of with ssg.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.57 : A Caco Comes From Outsides While You're Cleaning Up All The Shit Here
Which is quite undesirable and painfully annoying, to be honest.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.58 : Another Caco Comes From Outsides While You're Cleaning Up All The Shit Here
Which is even less dersirable and even more painfully annoying.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.58 : Cleaning Up Those Imps
With all the stuff dead, the time has come to cleanse those ledges of all the imp filth. Too bad it's also painfully annoying. If a rocket gets
autoaimed at the lower ledge, you will do minimal damage to the upper ledge. On the other hand, hitting the upper ledge cleans out stuff on the
lower ledge rather efficiently. Unfortunately, all shots are primarily autoaimed at the lower ledge. But sometimes not, sometimes it autoaims the
upper ledge instead. But mostly not. Very cool stuff.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.59 : Dying By Splattering Yourself From Rocket That Detonates After It Hits An Imp Corpse That Flies Towards You
Oh yes, this unbelievably rare glitch that probably no one has ever heard of and I had the opportunity to witness about as many times as you can
count on one hand has killed me about three times here.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.60 : Another Caco Comes From Outside While You're Cleaning Up All The Shit Here
Which is most undesirable and most painfully annoying.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.61 : Chaingunning Through Leftover Imps On A Tiny Ledge
Once the carnage is over, the next target is another goddamn switch. To reach it, you need to circumvent the area and get to the upper imp ledge
yourself. Now, it would be a little too wasteful to clean up those ledges entirely with rockets, so you just need to take a crapshoot and hope you
do enough damage to them. The rest will get chaingunned to face. So you better hope you did enough damage there so this doesn't end up horribly.
Spoiler : it usually will.

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.62 : Another Switch
This may be the most obedient switch though, I have to give it that benefit. Still, it's a switch. It also lets a cyberdemon teleport to the outside,
who may be the source of the most garbage here, so I take back everything nice about this switch I've just said.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.63 : And Another Switch
The very end of this ramp houses another switch, this time revealing a secret cell pack. This time it's another microscope ordeal. Fuck this switch. 

Reasons this map is garbage

 

nr.64 : Getting Fucked By A Bunch Of Cacos Plastered All Over The Upper Ledge While Going For That Other Switch
Well, unless they managed to get right into your face while you were cleaning up all the shit here. A blockline does some blockage up here, which is
both a blessing and a curse. This garbage point gets multiplied by imps remaining alive on this side of ledge that you utterly failed to kill with 
rockets when you had the chance.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.65 : The Cyberdemon You Just Revealed Is Shooting At You While Going For The Switch Revealing Secret Cells
And also likely killing you in the process.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.66 : The Cyberdemon You Just Revealed Is Not Shooting At You While Going For The Switch Revealing Secret Cells
And not pissing off all those cacos plastered all over the upper ledge. Also, not pissing off all those demons from garbage nr.18 that are having 
a groupie right under that ledge.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.67 : Another Caco Comes From Outsides While You're Going Around To Grab That Secret Cell Pack
Godfuckingdamnit!

Reasons this map is garbage nr.68 : After Entering The Soulsphere Secret Teleporter You Get Fucked By More Imps
In case you were missing some violent imp encounters. This time featuring scratches dealt while being a few kilometres above them.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.69 : The Cyberdemon That Was Revealed Not Long Ago Is Doing Piss-Poor Infighting
At this point the cybermoron must have started some beef with cacos, otherwise this is waste of time.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.70-71 : Two Stationary Revenants
After you witnessed how cyberdemon flawlessly infights, you make your way back to the starting ssg platform with that long ago mentioned elevator
we've already had the pleasure to use once. However, this time two more revenants are revealed in purple alcove plane. These guys are stupidly far
in the distance, so our cursed rocket launcher deals with them efficiently. By that I mean that it fails to autoaim half of the time and fails to
kill them with two rockets the other half of the time.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.72 : The Awful Elevator 
We've already used it for a ride, but this time its lovely property gets to shine. It's so slow that at the time you raise up, all the crammed crap
on the platform gets ready to scratch the living hell out of you with nowhere to dodge. 

Reasons this map is garbage nr.73 : More Revenants And Also Maybe Even Chaingunners
These guys were skipped over during our first imp encounter, but now they're ready for proper introduction. This means more fun with our beloved 
rocket launcher. This means more failed autoaim shots, failed proper damage and a bunch of complete misses as these suckers stroll around that 
platform back and forth. 

Reasons this map is garbage nr.74 : Getting Blocked On The Way Out Of This Room
Yeah, as a bonus, if our beloved rocket launcher fails to do the job quickly, the entrance to this room gets completely flooded by all the shit
that follows you from outside.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.75 : The Cyberdemon That Was Revealed A Long While Ago Is Doing Piss-Poor Infighting
At this point the cybermoron must target that lard all over this platform.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.76 : Getting Blocked By The Crap That Has Grouped Up In Front Of The Door To The Backpack Room
We left a secret with plasma gun right around the start of the map. We need to get back. A demon or two, maybe even some imp will be guarding it.
Annoying, but tolerable.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.77 : Getting Blocked By The Crap That Has Grouped Up Behind The Door To The Backpack Room
Now opening that door reveals an ungodly amount of lard right in your face, with only ssg available to break through. This is a supremely
annoying bit and not tolerable at all.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.78 : Getting Blasted By That Moronic Cyberdemon While Trying To Break Through To The Backpack Room
I mean, he was supposed to be infighting, but who am I kidding.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.79 : A Vile In The Plasma Secret That Is Supposed To Teleport Behind You Doesn't Teleport And Targets You Instead
This was the reason we blasted back to the start, other than cleaning up all crap here. It's trapped by two revenants and one vile. The vile teleports
behind you and revs remain where they appeared. Except sometimes that vile targets you straight away.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.80 : Those Revenants Kill You Because There Is Basically No Room To Properly Dodge
It happens.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.81 : Those Revenants Kill You Because Your Rockets Manage To Completely Miss Or Deal Miserable Damage
That happens too. I mean, did I mention I'm using rocket launcher here?

Reasons this map is garbage nr.82 : That Vile Revives A Load Of Lard While You're Busy Dying To Those Revenants
A Wonderful way to get a bunch of completely wasted rockets. Bonus points for demon revives. Which also take 2 rockets to kill.
 
Reasons this map is garbage nr.83 : A Bunch Of Cacos Flood The Other Side Of Entance To This Room Because They Failed To Infight With The Cyberdemon
Our reliable dude cyber does his job as usual.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.84 : The Cyberdemon Shoots You While You're Fighting The Flood Of Cacos He Failed To Infight
Yay, invisible unpredictable projectiles with splash damage. Also, you've probably failed anyway as they were supposed to be dead already.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.85 : The Cyberdemon Doesn't Infight With The Rest Of The Crap That He Was Supposed To Infight By Now
Once out of the room, everything that has survived infights is grouped around you. So pray for more infights. 

Reasons this map is garbage nr.86 : Miserable Demon Line-ups
This is the point we drop down and take out those tunnel demons, except they are all over the place. Some angry at cyberdemon, hopelessly circling 
around his platform, others angry at different entities, some even trying to get up to you, but with those platforms in the way their IQ is just not 
sufficient for such a complex task. The tunnel baron should also be among them, but if heavens collide, he might actually die to cyberdemon. It's
a really crappy spot for weapon choice, so I figured I'd deplete rockets here, which can go obviously horribly.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.87 : The Last Violent Imp Encounter Is Bullshit
The only cut-off leftover monsters now are imps on mountains guarding soulsphere secret I've previously grabbed. The problem is they are far and spread
out. They can also completely die off to infights or barely infight at all. It's tough call whether it's worthy of rocketing or if chaingun will suffice.
The problem with rocket launcher is obvious, given their distance, but the chaingun has a problem too, which is very low to no ammo left. In any case,
these fuckers can break a run, even if they seem harmless on their distant platforms.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.88 : One Of Cacos I Kept Mentioning Over And Over Earlier How It's Annoyingly Following Me From The Outside To The Interior 
                                    Of The RK Room Is Now Stuck There And Mocking Me From Distance
This is an immensely frustrating load of bullshit. The blockline that was preventing those cacos to get inside also blocks them to get outside if those 
fucking idiots make their way there. Of course, this is what happenned here as well and you can watch me try to rocket him while that imbecile just 
dodges them effortlessly. What a fucktard.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.89 : The Cyberdemon Is Still Doing Piss-Poor Infights
At this point the upper platform has to be almost completely devoid of any life. I rarely keep any spere rockets here for any useless backup strategies.
It would be a fail anyway.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.90 : The Cyberdemon Keeps Dodging Plasma
With everything dead, only cyber needs to follow. Unfortunately, the platform is rather distant and leaves more than enough of a window for him to dodge
it. This wouldn't be that much of a big deal, but there's a little problem. 

Reasons this map is garbage nr.91 : There's Not Enough Plasma To Guarantee You'd Kill That Cyberdemon
Even if that sucker did all infights perfectly, but barely got hit, there's a chance you'd run out of ammo before he's done for if he flaps around too 
much. The only other option then is diddling him with ssg, which does next to no damage from that distance. You can also approach him by getting onto
that lift and hope you land a shot before he splatters you.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.92 : The Next Cyberdemon In The Last Room Doesn't Shoot Immediately
The last room is another crapperia. The first wave reveals a cyber and a bunch of revenants. The thing is, they are lined up for a shot perfectly at first.
Within a second, their perfect formation for splash damaging goes to shit.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.93 : Another Switch
Which you have to press while a cyber infights right in front of it. Also sometimes targets you instead, because why not.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.94 : An Unpredictable Homing Rocket Hits You While Moving In A Completely Random Direction
These are always a lovely way to die, it's also far more likely with a heap of monsters and a cyber crammed into a tiny room.  

Reasons this map is garbage nr.95 : Arachnotrons Refuse To Die In 3 Rockets
I'm not sure if it's just my luck or if this game just hates me.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.96 : The Cyberdemon Has A Piss-Poor Infight With Cacos
This is a really crappy scenario. Cacos are far above rocket range if cyber shoots in a straight line, meaning that how many he ends up aggroing is just 
about entirely luckbased after one caco shoots him.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.97 : The Cyberdemon Infights Slowly
It's the last room and the exit is available shortly after hitting the switch. This means that infight cannot be just efficient, but most go fast. And you
need to act according to hoping that it actually goes fast. This makes it bad enough, but that's still not everything.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.98 : The Cyberdemon Doesn't Get Sufficiently Damaged
Yeah, on top of it being over fast, he needs to get as crippled in the process as possible. Maybe a little too much to ask for, but given just 80 cells in
the last room, that is nowhere near enough for a kill and how much ssg you end up using is once again up to whatever entity you pray to.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.99 : The Cyberdemon Gets Angry At you Before Cacos Are Dead
This is another problematic way this room can go. After cyber kills something and you land a hit, he won't infight anything anymore. This is a problem with
cacos that cannot be targeted by him otherwise, as they are all floating above those straight rockets hurled at you. On the other hand, if those cacos are
angry at cyberdemon, this can be a way to deal additional damage to him, but you still need to land more shots at cacos once he's dead anyway. It's really
hard to figure out a perfect approach here.

Reasons this map is garbage nr.100 : The Last Switch
It's embarassing how many times I forgot that I have to press this fucker before I can exit. Including even one potentially very slightly faster attempt.

This concludes today's episode of 100 reasons this map is utter fucking garbage for speedrunning. I hope you've been sufficiently enlightened here on the
fun to be had that awaits, who knows, maybe even you. I'd say go right for it.

 

 

 

Edited May 14 by El Juancho

[Dimon12321]

My text files are like sheets from my diary xD

[Hitherto]

Definitely TS' lv02m056

Spoiler

Ok. Ok. Ok. FINALLY...after nearly 2 months...roughly 183.28 hours of attempts (probably higher since I used by a lower-bound average of 20 seconds per attempt)...and a whopping 32,992 attempts including the original 1:01 attempts...I fucking got a 56. Here is my story:

    STORY:

This run has humbled me somewhat. And I know Looper will take this back quickly, and probably very easily.

After taking all the doom2 iwad Map01 max records, I thought I had pretty much taken down the most optimized doom2 iwad maxes, because theoretically map01s have the most optimized runs, generally. And I had wanted to take those down in the first place since I've always ran challenge maps, I wanted to see how I could fare againsst iwad max runs, as all of the most epic legendary runners do those right? Well I did those Map01s, and sometime in December I heard some random casual chatter about various Looper Doom2 maxes being pretty optimized and really hard to beat, like Doom2 Map23 (or was it 22) and Doom2 Map16, and how lv02m sub 1 minute is the "holy grail" IL (Billa's words :^)). So essentially I figure, alright, how about I take a stab at some Looper times, I've taken a Vile, Xit Vono, and ZM max for each Map01 already. I think also around this time I find out Map02 is Looper's most worked max, so now I have a target run: lv02m, goal time to just beat the existing record held by Looper of 1:03.

Getting the 1:01 proved harder than I thought. I believe it took a couple days, maybe a week, I forget and am too lazy to check atm. It took 3500 some attempts, and I was like damn a 1:01, two seconds knocked off of Looper's "best" max (as I labeled in my head at the time), don't think he'll take back anytime soon. Wrong. When I posted the 1:01, I went to sleep pretty sound. I woke up the next morning and checked discord and was pinged. I check the ping and subsequent messages and I see jokes about my time already being beaten. I'm like, ain't no way. I go to the Doom II Demos thread on DW, and low and behold I see Looper's 1:00. I was already pretty blown away when I saw the post, but when I checked the zip and the txt, I was absolutely shook by what I saw...100 some attempts and it only took him 54 fucking minutes to beat the time. Again, I was shook, my pulse rate was up and I think it was a panicked feeling.

You know, I've done some pretty tough runs, some things nobody thought would be done for at least a while, I thought I was a pretty good player. I thought I had proven myself within the challenge max sphere and the iwad max pure speedrunning sphere with the Map01 runs. But holy shit, when I saw Looper mop the floor with my demo, beating it in just 54 minutes, 100 odd attempts...I got fucking wrecked. I didn't know it was possible to be that fucking good, I didn't even understand or fathom it for a bit. I got put in my fucking place, if I'm being real. Reality checked.

It took me close to 30 minutes or an hour to finally chill after seeing the news and viewing the demo. I believe I tried to convince myself that his run was flukey; he got pretty lucky with the one-shot ending. Somewhere around this time I had asked Looper if he had any tricks for the tunnels or the one-shot ending, he basically said he had a "good feel" for the first tunnel barrels in one shot, and the one-shot ending was RNG. So it was just luck, I thought, he just got a lucky run. So after composing myself, I began to grind for 59.

Got it in within a few hours of attempts the same day Looper had gotten the 1:00 I believe. I was pretty stoked. I thought, alright yeah I can get a time that good without that much effort as well. The next day I wake up and boom, 59 posted by Looper. Again, I checked the text file and he got it in just about 2 hours, 321 attempts I believe. I again was boggled by the little amount of effort he needed for these times. I wasn't as panicked as I was the first time, but still it was hard to manage mentally. It proved to me his first run wasn't a fluke. It proved to me it wasn't all luck (at this time, at least). It proved to me, that Looper was flat out a step above me in terms of maxing.

I have pride as a player, and to see Looper just produce the same times in a fraction of the amount of effort, it ripped through that pride. To me, it seemed impossible I could ever do what he did with that little effort. I was good, but I wasn't the best.

I began grinding for 58. Looper's first text file mentioned the lv02m wouldn't stand for even a 0:59 for very long, so I suppose I set out to prove that prediction true.

I think at some point, about roughly 4k attempts into the 58 grind, I got it. In HoE discord, Looper posed a question to me that I never answered, whether to do a hoarding competition or a blow-by-blow battle where we each take turns lowering the record by a second. I opted for the former, did not see a point in submitting a demo that you didn't think would stand for at least a little while. So I forged on past 58, my new goal was a 57 or 56; I decided I would take either. But I had no idea what I was getting myself into...

For hours and days, I toiled at the grind. I was purely obsessed with the run, and I remained so over the next 7 weeks or so. I had to get better times, I had to prove I could go toe-to-toe with the best player in the game. Looper is the best player I believe...maybe not the best movement runner, or best tricks runner, but he could be the best maxer, and he is an extremely good movement runner and tricks runner; in totality, I believe he is the best. But I wanted to prove to myself I could perform just as well in a run that didn't involve movement or tricks really.

57 took a lot longer than I expected. An absolutely, agonizing amount of time. The attempt count at this time started after the 1:01, so I had gotten the 59 a couple hundred attempts in, and the 58 4k attmepts after the 1:01. So then it went, 5k...6k...9k...14k...16k...57. I got the 57 I think about 16-17k attempts in from the 1:01. But when I got the 57, I knew I could do better. I had a countless number of runs on a superior pace. 56 felt right there for the taking. So I continued on, a foolish choice for a foolish player (yes, getting dramatic, but fuck you you're probably one of the people who was watching me run this for weeks).

More toiling away. Frequently, I thought about how much I was wasting my life away doing this stupid run instead of a lot of IRL stuff, and a lot of mapping. I thought about quitting a couple times. But most of all, and perhaps most unfortunately or fortunately of all depending on how you look at it, I thought about how I could get the run if I just gave some more attempts. And I had reason to keep going. I was already too deep in the grind, spent hours and hours, over 75 hours when I got the 57, trying to get the run down to my goal time. I had been streaming everything in Meowgi's discord (and David's discord the first day of grinding for the 1:01, but then drama, and I began streaming in Meowgi's discord), day after day, players would enter vc, wish me luck, sit there for hours watching me, or really probably watching other players stream since watching me attempt underhalls for up to 8 hours a day (and one time, 12 hours!!!) is fucking boring, and cheer me on. They would joke about how Looper already had my time beaten, or would beat it the day after I post it while he was on lunch break or something, and I knew this too, that he would certainly beat my time no matter what, and almost surely quickly and easily. And I had no intention of beating whatever time he got if he beat my 56...the grind had proven to me already that beyond 56 is fucking ludicrous and outside my range (more on this later). In truth, my pure purpose for grinding the 56 was to see just how long Looper would take to beat it back...and I hoped it would take at least some effort. At least a thousand attempts. Thousands, ideally. I just want to make him work for it. After attempting the map so many times, in my experience, the run is absurdly luck-based, particularly the tunnels, but he had proven so far that it really wasn't just luck, and I somewhat agreed as during the 57 and 56 grinds, I freuently got 1:03s, the original record, 1:02s, 1:01s, 1:00s, and later on in increasing frequency, 0:59s, 0:58s, 0:57s. Lot of runs missing an enemy or a few that hit goal time or close to it, better and worse. But again, I just wanted to see him work for a time that I busted my ass off for, to prove I could reach his levels of play, really.

At last, we get to the 56. February 19th, 1:42 pm, Player K gets his run. Throughout a lot of the grind, I would have stretches where I was playing bad...fatigued from already playing for 5+ hours, or having weird input lag issues or whatever (I even switched sourceports the input lag issue was becoming a problem...I forget when I switched but I switched from 24.3 to 25.6). But I would also have stretches where I played pretty well. Damn well I'd say. Stretches where I'm just getting a large proportion of attempts past the teleprot, and into the 2nd half of the map (when crossing into the western hallway with 3 zombies and blue doors). Today I was going through a really good strech...the last 5-6 hours I played, I had average attempt lengths of 32 seconds, 33, and 35, each stretch divided by small breaks. For comparison, when I took samples to figure out my average attempt length, it was around 20-22 seconds. The better the average length time, the more deep runs you're getting, at least that's how it is for me.

The 56 was only a matter of time really. I had been getting better at the level (more on this later); after the 57, I started to get some more 57s, and a shit ton of really, really good times that missed an enemy or two. Finally, it's over.

    RUN/STRATS:

I had changed/tweaked strats numerous times throughout the run, a bunch actually. A lot of it was just getting a better feel for everything, and virtually everything in the run, my movement, shots, positioning, monster manipulation, got increasingly better. Here are the notable strats/tweaks for the run that I remember:

        WINDOW: I changed strats very early on for the window and the RC building; jump the window early. In the 1:01 grind, I had
        gotten a couple attempts where I did the RC building (not including the secret) in 2 shots. So I figured, let's just try and            go for that now, save 1.6 seconds by not using a 3rd SSG. Some quick tinkering led me to believe kamikazing the window like a
        Valiant suicide bomber (but with an SSG) was the best bet for getting a 2-shot RC building. I think this is better than how it
        was previously done by me and Looper in previous runs, but you sure do die a fuck ton. It is borderline suicide to jump in
        there, an endless number of attempts where I jump in and get absolutely fucking obliterated immediately, it's outstanding
        how much damage the shotgunners can do in a blink of the eye. There's also the issue of the lower shotgunner outside blocking
        you as you jump in, you need to be quick when you go for the window jump. You can also be blocked by the shotgunners in the
        building if they are walking along the window's edge. It's frustrating. A couple thousand attempts before I got the 56, I had
        an attempt where I sort of waited/focused on shooting at the RC building shotgunners a couple tics before I jumped, and I got
        all four downstairs shotgunners in one blow. So I figured, I should try doing this more. And I did. It isn't significantly
        better than a straight YOLO of the window jump, but I think on average you have a slightly better chance knocking out 3+
        downstairs shotgunners with this method, which is important because the difference between taking out 2 leftover shotgunners
        and 3 in the 2nd SSG shot is huge.

        1st TUNNEL: The strat is to hug the wall on the right and fire straight eastward, or 1 angle to the right. I'm not sure when I
        adopted this strat, but it was somewhere during the 56 and 57 grinds. I had thought that firing 1 angle to the right of due
        east against the right wall while backing into the barrel was the most conistent method, but near the last quarter or eighth
        of attempts I just kind of hugged the right wall, backed up "enough", and shot east without caring too much if it the angle
        was perfect. I became more consistent at this in the last eighth of attempts or so, I'm not sure why, I guess I just got a
        better unconscious feel for the angle or something, because to me the barrels is still heavily RNG. I'm pretty sure I just
        ended up doing the same strat as I had been doing the entire grind basically, but IDK.

I tried to make conscious tweaks to many other parts of the run. I tried to work out a best method for killing the first half of the SSG room (4 zombies, 1 shotgunner you see when you enter) in 2 shotgun blasts, like stepping a certain way or at a certain time or a certain closeness to the zombies, but in the end it became a feel thing, and I got quite good at that (still had ruts though when I was fatigued and playing sloppily where it just didn't seem to work, along with many other things lol).

I tweaked how I left the SSG room and ran for the window, with how I placed my SSG shots. I tweaked how I did the RC building and secret; in the last quarter of attempts I realized you could get away with killing a leftover shotgunner from the first room before you enter the teleport but only lose minimal time, so this extended the life of many attempts where not all 5 shotgunners died in 2 SSG in the RC building.

I tweaked how I did the red bars very late in attempts, made sure to focus on opening the bars before I took the shot, as occasionally but too frequently I would whiff on the bars and subsequently whiff on the shot.

I tweaked how I shot the zombies in the west hallway kind of in the final third of attempts. I decided to run into the first zombie straight on and shoot down a northbound line to kill all 3 zombies, which is huge because the 2nd zombie by the blue door loves to get stuck there if you don't kill him and run past him...when that happened I tried to back up into that hallway while reloading the SSG after killing the 2 shotgunners by the barrel at the end of the hallway, in an attempt to lure the zombie out of that little blue door hitch. That method is faulty though and doesn't always work within the confines of trying to run the map at a breakneck pace. Funnily enough, I rewatched Looper's demo and he does the same zombie line up method in the west hallway...should've paid more attention to his demo from the beginning.

I tweaked how I shot the barrels in the barrel room with the drop-down...back into the wall as you aim at them, I felt this had a higher chance of causing the back barrel to explode first and thus causing the 2nd barrel to explode a few tics later which has a higher chance of killing all 5 shotgunners in the room, I believe. This was a very, very late tweak in attempts, did it a mere few hours before I got the 56.

I tweaked how I placed some shots in the RC area cleanup...not much to say here. Just a general feel thing.

    CONCLUDING THOUGHTS:

I've learned that there's still a decent amount of room for me to improve as a player, and that I'm ok with that.

I really got a better feel for a lot of things as the attempts progressed...I'm definitely far better at the run than I was when I began. I am confident I could get 0:59 relatively easily now (couple hours at most) if I was more relaxed with my pace, not resetting for any slight bump or hitch that prevented me from hitting a split. So that feels good. I don't doubt Looper will beat this, either with the glide or without, and I think he will beat it within a couple thousand attempts if he does. It will probably be slightly disheartening when he does, knowing the ludicrous amount of attempts I took on the 56 (about 28k attempts since I posted the 1:01). But honestly I've concluded the run is pretty luck-based. The sheer number of attempts where I feel I've played pretty perfectly, but the tunnels went dogshit, is purely depressing, and disgusting. The barrels in the 1st tunnel not going off in one shot, the 2nd tunnel just being an absolute piece of shit for a few reasons I will discuss below. Like the amount of runs on pace that died from the tunnels not going as planned is fucking bullshit, and how some of those runs died is also bullshit, as many other players can attest to as they watched me play and I vented to them. While I feel the run is pretty luck-based to improve, I'm 50/50 on whether or not I think Looper's next run will make me question my worth as a player. Unless he uses the glide, that's a whole different ball game, dunno how much time could be saved with it. I imagine that's a horrible run though.

I just don't think the current route has any room for improvement except better luck, because luck really comes into play once you get to the RC building cleanup, and the tunnels as well. And the one-shot ending is luck too I think, because I can't find a consistent way for it, and Looper said it was RNG as well, although I partially am sus that he just said that to potentially keep an advantage, maybe he has a more consistent way for it, some tweak or micromovement or timing im not aware of. The run can obviously be improved, just how lucky do you think you are. Well...I guess you don't need luck if you're a walking contradiction, a Player L (he is a Player W, W as in WIN, because he wins at the game as a very good player).

    FUCK YOUs/THANKS:

FUCK the little bit of wall by the stairs to the RC area that I got stuck on an annoying amout of times,

FUCK the enemies as I run to the window blocking me in dumbass ways or the two shotgunners at the top of the stairs shooting me on sight like it's nightmare!,

FUCK the lower shotgunner by the window for blocking me a bunch of times

FUCK the secret shotgunners for literally just fucking obliterating me as soon as I open the fucking door on a shit number of attempts, again like it's fucking nightmare!

FUCK the red bars shotgunner FUCK this guy he is the worst shotgunner in the whole fucking map this guy is a fucking asshole, he dodges your SSG pellets like Neo sometimes, idk how the fuck this guy does it. FUCK THIS GUY. Most annoying way for an attempt to die was from whiffing on the red bars or this idiot dodging the SSG shot from point blank range somehow. FUCK.

FUCK the 2nd zombie in the west hallway for getting stuck on the blue door like an idiot if you don't kill him, idk how this guy can get stuck there and never get out it's dumb as fuck

FUCK the pinky in the RC cleanup, motherfucker just runs randomly sometimes I swear, will randomly turn right or left when he's coming towards you and sometimes even go down the fucking stairs by the RC building for no fucking reason, makes it really hard to line up efficient shots when he does this. FUCk YOU.

FUCK the east hallway monster closet monsters. These IDIOTS never want to empty their closet and become visible to me as I'm trying to leave the area to head to the tunnels. Sometimes these motherfuckers even bunch up at the bottom of the stairs next to the SSG room door, and they get stuck there. WHY? WHY? WHY? I DONT KNOW. FUCK FUCK. I can't BEGIN to tell you how many times I've had to leave the RC cleanup at 61/62/63 kills because some of these fucking morons don't get out of their monster closet and make themselves visible to shoot. It's literally in the hundreds for how many times this has happened, I don't even have to mathematically and statistically check to know this. Sometimes they show up a second late to be extra assholes to ruin your run but still show themselves so you can kill them and be a second or two behind pace. FUCK YOU IDIOTS. The tunnels hurt more than this, but this is probably the single biggest reason for deep attempts dying, in terms of number.

FUCK the imps in the first tunnel. FUCK YOU award candidates here. SO MANY good attempts where they just cuck me so hard by blocking me when I drop down, they never block you with infinite height, so you will always drop down, but a lot of times they just fucking surrounded me as I jumped down and I couldn't directly strafe into the wall to line up the shot. These SHAMEFUL CRETINS also like to hang by the connecting door at the west end of this tunnel, and make it difficult to kill the remaining imps here in one SSG after grabbing the BC. Bunch of attempts also effectively ended due to these guys just surviving the barrels and single SSG shot, so they're left behind as I go for the 2nd tunnel, and I have to pray they enter the 2nd tunnel and get close to the barrels in that tunnel so they die from the explosion. But that has like a 5% chance of ever happening, and when it did happen it was in slow attempts so it didn't FUCKING MATTER. FUCK YOU GUYSSSSSSS.

FUCK. FUCK the barrels in the first tunnel. NEVER exploding in one-shot, and when you do, it's in a fucking dead attempt behind pace or missing an enemy from RC cleanup. AND sometimes, these fucking barrels don't even kill the pinky down here. What the FUCK. Such a hurdle in this run, always have to hold your breath hoping your shot gets all these barrels in one shot. And in this run it didn't even happen, so FUCK YOU barrels, didn't need your grimey asses anyways.

FUCK the 2nd tunnel. What can go wrong in effectively the FINAL hurdle for this run?
    
    1. Low health so you die as you're trying to push towards the blue door shotgunner trio (epic hitscanner map so it's largely luck-based how much health you have by this point in the run, it's PROBABLY going to be LOW. FUCK.)

    2. One SSG shot doesn't clear a path for you to get to the barrels part of this tunnel, and you GET STUCK AND DIE. This happens like HALF THE FUCKING TIME. Although it did get a tiny bit better in my last hundred attempts I think. Still though. EPIC LUCK RIGHT????
    
    3. Random shotgunner blocking you at the barrels part. Fuck you noob says this shotgunner. Dead run.

    4. The important barrel by the corner you need to use to kill remaining enemies in this tunnel explodes early due to reasons 5-7.

    5. Imps/shotgunner explode important barrel BEFORE you even FUCKING DROPPED DOWN into the FIRST TUNNEL.

    6. Important barrel accidentally gets blown up because you fired into the mob in the 2nd tunnel as you're trying to clear the path outlined in 2. and your pellets weave their way through the mob in front of your face somehow to hit the barrel and blow it up.
    
    7. Shotgunner from 3. or imps/shotgunner mob blow up important barrel before you can even get to the blue door shotgunner trio

    8. Shotgunner trio shoots barrel closest to them as you're running to kill them and the barrel explodes and kills you. This happens in this run except I had great health and survived. BLESSED.

    9. This happened only 1 FUCKING TIME, but it was probably the most epic BULLSHIT of all time. I have a screenshot of my SSG pellets being repelled by the fucking barrels in this 2nd tunnel. The way I fired the SSG it could've and should've hit 2 barrels with substantial buckshot, but neither one fucking exploded, and I think both only got hit by a single pellet. I was aiming directly at the barrel closest to the blue door but a surviving shotgunner of the blue door trio was in the way, and somehow absorbed all pellets coming at that barrel, like this fucker must've taken all minimum damage pellets and ate them all or some shit. The rest of the pellets flew TOWARDS but AROUND the important corner barrel, above and to the right of this barrel and hitting the wall by the connector door. HOW? I DONT KNOWWWWW. I was so fucking baffled when this happened. It ended up being a 56 too, 56 with 87/90 because no fucking barrels detonated. BULLSHIT. HORSESHIT.

    10. This is the saddest and probably most common. The fucking important barrel doesn't kill the rest of the enemies you left behind and your kill count does not total up to 85/90 as you leave the 2nd tunnel. SAD. SAD. WHYYYYYYYY???????!!!!

THANKS everyone in Meowgi's discord that stuck around with me for the whole grind. So many people frequently came in to listen to me vent and say fuck a lot, and I'm really not sure what percentage of the time people in vc were even watching me play since the run is boring as shit to watch be attempted so often, but it was cool anyways. Big thanks to the following people I remember watching me often or chatting often while I was grinding and losing insanity and patience:

BILLA
4shock
Confused
Mhrz
Star
Dubz
Juancho
Bredd
Phoenix
Maribo
Meowgi
Human Being
Edie
Dan
Raven
Brendan
Anc
Rayziik (I think?)
Besus
Distortion (was there a couple times, was cool)
Vile (mainly for just being present while playing other games lol)
Dashie
Gosu
Terrarienn
Xyzzy

I'm probably forgetting some people, so sorry. Really, thanks to everyone, especially Billa, I remember her probably watching the most and also encouraging the most while also letting me vent and share bullshit that happened during the attempts. Never running this again.

 

"Never running this again" heh) nice signature maybe? or Sean Connery userpic?

 

Edited May 15 by Hitherto

[Shepardus]

Seeing the run pop up on the DSDA Twitch channel reminded me of this txt, from Ancalagon's 3:25 UV-Max of Haste MAP11:

 

Spoiler

wad:       Haste
Map:       11
Skill:     4
Category:  UV-Max
Exe:       dsda-doom 0.25.6
Time:      3:25

 

-complevel 9

 

Author:       Ancalagon

 

At first I thought this was a nice map, but this is not a doom map, this is actually a horror story and I will describe it as such, as the horrors that lurk within it hidden in plain sight are beyond scientific explanation.

 

The very first encounter is on the initial screen, this can seem like it is just a harmless bridge and an intersection, but the left corner is actually a space-time anomaly that transforms any vile that steps into a nightmare difficulty vile, this makes it so as soon as the vile that is needed to vilejump steps one of his pixels into the corner the player, but without exposing him enough to actually get a good angle for the jump. To fight this space anomaly worthy of being in the top10 things science can't explain, I have to stay at the rocket launcher for a few extra seconds until the vile makes it through the unexplained fenomenom, I increase the risk of the vile getting hit by a random fireball but this proved to be a more reliable strategy than going to the bridge inmediatly, sadly the anomaly doesn't extend past the corner and now the vile will take as long as a regular uv vile usually takes to attack, sometimes running almost all the way to the yellow key. Now, if the vile gets attacked you still can hit it with a rocket to make it focus on you again, this would normally work 98% of the time as the pain chance of a vile is pretty low, but I highly suspect that this vile has been somehow modified against all protections demo recording has to increase his pain chance if he rocketed to 90%, making you waste precious seconds only 10 seconds into the run and making it not worth continuing. Taking the yellow key reveals some masterminds that are only here to ruin your day when somehow none of them manage to infight and do nothing in a regular casual play of the map.

 

After this apetizer, the horrors of this map continue to unfold only a few seconds later as you need to make your way to a door, a switch and an elevator, in this case the stairs seem to have a higher gravitational attraction that only works on cybers, making the only cyber in the room somehow make his way through an horde of enemies only to perfectly block your way up the stairs.

 

Next most of attempts end thanks to doomguy's way too high respect of everyone's aerial space, but this monstrosity is a bit on the nose, when you decide to make this jump you sign up to this annoyance, what is more subtle are the 2 imps placed on the platform where you must land, in a casual playthrough these imps do nothing and will most likely be dead by the time the player clears the fight, therebore these imps had to specially be placed to prevent me from making the jump when I thought doomguy managed to go past the orgy of enemies at the ground level, because in a perfect understanding of horror storytelling the mapper knew you have to give some how before shattering it into pieces.

 

When you make it into the platform there's a switch, this switch raises a bridge that you must pray to all gods, ancient and new, actually rises instead of getting blocked by all the enemies, and that it doesn't go up with too many enemies to end your run, cause if you take too long crossing this bridge, you'll be met with doomguy's excessive respect of air space of all monsters when you try to go down after pressing the second switch.

 

The next room is a nice breather in this bombardment of finely crafted creepy pasta material, somehow autoaim decides to attack spiders on the top area despite a revenant or a vile being perfectly in the middle of the screen, making you feel like you're past the worst, but this is actually the map building a false sense of security before throwing us the jumpscares and terrific plot twists.

 

Prepared to get scared, the player enters the teleporter to exit the room and is usually met by a cyber right in front of the screen making the spectators jump on their seats, this teleporter could be placed a little bit more to the right where no monsters will ever be surrounding it, but that would be too nice, but this cyber is only masquerading the next reveal, a bunch of viles and 2 more cybers. Now the logic turn of events would be that some of these 3 cybers hit the viles, but between all your failures these guys have had plenty of time to practice their coordination and defying their run speeds the viles manage to stay behind the cybers most of the time attacking you from a safe place and of course ending the run. With this group dead we can move onto the next act where we clear most of the area and find that somehow most spiders made a peace deal and didn't kill each other as they should do, except in this attempt that in a unexpected turn of events only 2 spiders were alive. Now as we clear what should be the last enemies of the map in the blue key room, we reach the climax, were the true nightmare fuel shows up leaving an unforgettable trauma on our minds.

 

The closet, I considered to add a screenshot or an artistic representation of this closet but that may actually need a R rating cause of how savage the view is, in fact I have reached the conclusion that this is not a closet, this is some out of this world unholy amalgamation that is acting as a closet, and he is not afraid of you, he shows you his schemes in plain view while you are absolutely powerless against his influence. The real purpose of this beast is not to send all of it's monsters into the map, it's to choose one of them a take it hostage for the rest of eternity, where, usually a hk, will be doomed to walk back and forth the wall closer to the map while you wonder how in this universe it was decided that the teleport lines don't need to reach the border of the room, this closet is so bad that it can't be an accident, it is easier and more natural to make a working closet than this thing, this was put in here as a torture device that could just as well be a part of the next Saw sequel.

 

In an unexpected miracle, in this demo everything has left the closet by the time i look while I am killing the masterminds, because I this I take clearing the last room slightly safer than I normally would to guarantee a win. The map ends with a dready moral of a fable. It doesn't matter your origin, or who you are, or how much time you've dedicated to speedrunning this game, in the end you'll meet the great equalizer, as you realize your time only depends on how fast this closet decides to empty itself and not the skills you've built over the years, the closet doesn't discriminate, and it will strike back when you least expect it, be warned, it is watching.

 

Edited June 1 by Shepardus