Science

[fodders]

Everyone knows that a cat lands on its feet if you drop it.... also it's a known fact that if you drop a buttered slice of bread it lands buttered side down.... so... what would happen if you strapped a slice of bread, buttered side up onto a cats back and dropped it out of your window, test this and get back to me

[Naked Snake]

Hehehe.../me smells gas

[Lüt]

Hehehe.../me smells gas

Heh, what was that old title of yours? ;)

[Naked Snake]

Hehehe.../me smells gas

Heh, what was that old title of yours? ;)

Bah, do you see the mention of a color there? Nope, but I doubt I will say stuff like *points to his quote* that much anyway.

[læmænt]

Heh, we should ask DooMBoy to do this experiment.

[Naked Snake]

Heh, we should ask DooMBoy to do this experiment.

Bah, he would probably eat the bread and then annoy the cat with spoutings of "FNORD" all day until it drowns itself in the toilet...

[stphrz]

Boy. You guys are dumb. Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of physics demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.

That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.

Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.

The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red-hot starship and ticked off aliens crash on top of them.

[læmænt]

Wow, you rule, man!

[fodders]

I resolved the buttered bread issue years ago by placing my un-buttered bread on the floor, then buttering it

[Fredrik]

I resolved the buttered bread issue years ago by placing my un-buttered bread on the floor, then buttering it

Dude everytime I do that, the butter generates negative gravity that makes the bread fall up to the ceiling and get stuck there :|

[NiGHTMARE]

Wouldn't it be simpler just to butter both sides of the bread? :)

[stphrz]

Wouldn't it be simpler just to butter both sides of the bread? :)

A buttered cat has higher mass. Thus more energy is created. Do you realize how many slices of dual buttered bread would be required to power a starship? Think man. Sheesh.

[fodders]

Wouldn't it be simpler just to butter both sides of the bread? :)

you eat with gloves on? Bread buttered both sides is Yukkie to touch, get a grip man

[NiGHTMARE]

Wouldn't it be simpler just to butter both sides of the bread? :)

A buttered cat has higher mass. Thus more energy is created. Do you realize how many slices of dual buttered bread would be required to power a starship? Think man. Sheesh.

In that case, surely the best method would be to tie two cats together? There wouldn't be any risk of them eating the bread either.

[læmænt]

A somewhat impractical, yet entertaining experiment is to cut off all feet of a cat; by the laws of nature, this feline, when dropped, won't be able to fall (unless its feet are somewhere in the vicinity, in which case it would would fall on them), and would be suspended in midair.

[Fredrik]

There's actually no problem with double-buttered bread. A slice of bread is shaped like a deformed cylinder... in any case, you'll be able to hold the side. The only tricky thing it putting it down, but you can use the back of that cat of yours as a table.

[stphrz]

Wouldn't it be simpler just to butter both sides of the bread? :)

A buttered cat has higher mass. Thus more energy is created. Do you realize how many slices of dual buttered bread would be required to power a starship? Think man. Sheesh.

In that case, surely the best method would be to tie two cats together? There wouldn't be any risk of them eating the bread either.

Yeah I suppose, but a buttered bread/cat combo is more cost effective. Quieter too. Only half the howling and hissing to deal with.

[læmænt]

Actually, does the law specify that the cat has to be alive? I don't think so.

[fraggle]

wow, i never heard this one before(!)

[læmænt]

(!)

(?)

[fodders]

Actually, does the law specify that the cat has to be alive? I don't think so.

EWWWWW, edible items in vicinity of dead cat, .......... EEEEWWW

[læmænt]

How about a cat drawn on a piece of paper?

[stphrz]

Actually, does the law specify that the cat has to be alive? I don't think so.

Yes the law does in fact state the cat has to be alive. The documentation also cautions strongly against using margerine and cats with inner ear disorders as these can cause unpredictable results. Look at what happened to the Hindenburg.

[Psyonisis]

The cat/bread combination will obviously fall, but land on its side, with both sides in an eternal struggle to land

[EllipsusD]

Heh, we should ask DooMBoy to do this experiment.

Bah, he would probably eat the bread and then annoy the cat with spoutings of "FNORD" all day until it drowns itself in the toilet...

And waste a perfectly good piece of buttered bread!? Pah, I think he would eat the cat and put the bread somewhere where everyone can see.

[Zaldron]

Wait, what happens if we develop this super high-concentrated butter using cat's paws and cat's milk?

We could develop an antigravity substance so powerful that the factories should be placed in space stations, otherwise the Earth's atmosphere would greatly concentrate around these places, leaving 3rd world countries (without the funds to manufacture UglyCatMilk) without enough oxygen to mantain Humanity.

[Searcher]

This is exactly how Carmack discovered Clipping.

[EllipsusD]

Wait, what happens if we develop this super high-concentrated butter using cat's paws and cat's milk?

We could develop an antigravity substance so powerful that the factories should be placed in space stations, otherwise the Earth's atmosphere would greatly concentrate around these places, leaving 3rd world countries (without the funds to manufacture UglyCatMilk) without enough oxygen to mantain Humanity.

Heh, mobile homes aren't just for the poor anymore.

[Erik]

/me looks around in the crackhouse... hey gimme some of that

[Crendowing]

For out next experiment, class, we will now see how a topic by Fodders reacts in the greeness of Post Hell...