if you get really bored.. read this intro

[Guest M0NSTERZER0]

is this too cheesy for the intro to an RPG game?
You be the judge!

-The imp runs wildly forward, pinwheeling its deadly spiked hands
as the marine reloads his shotgun.. Too late, the three
foot spike cuts a bloody swath through his shoulder blade, he
grips the trigger, blasting the imp directly in the chest..
a halo of blood spatters against the wall, chunks of bloody
tissue drip from the wall, the marine wipes off the blood from
his shielded face as best he can as he moves forward in the
darkness of the space station.. breathing heavily he doesnt hear
the hooves beating on the tiles behind me, he turns around just
in time to see a blur of plasma sear his left arm into oblivion..
He drops the shotgun as the Baron of hell's right arm lunges
grabbing his helmet in one giant hand.. and squeezing.. The
helmet crushes like a cardboard box as blood streams from the
broken glass casing..-


-scene cuts to a ship hovering over Phobos station.. A marine
with a crew cut and a cigarrete jutting out of his mouth walks
slowly toward his commander..-

Marine: [Dragging his cigarrete] so what is the official american
government stance on this situation?

Commander: There isnt one.

-the commander inhales deeply... savoring the tobbacco he can
no longer smoke at his position in the military-

Commander: Theyre already on earth.. The Government cut all
telivision and radio signals to avoid a widespread panic..
Theyre mainly in utah right now, the earth military is having
a hell of a time trying to close that goddamn gate.

Marine: So what are we doing going to this Phobos death trap?

Commander: Were here to cut our losses, marine.. We blow the fuck
out of this rock and we get our asses back to earth ASAP.

Marine: Fuckin Right.

-The ship rocks violently, sending personelle helter skelter all
over the place.. The commander flails, smashing his head onto the
main control deck.. The ship's gravity system is out.. debris
and blood trickling throughout the space craft.. The marine grabs
a helmet floating by and pulls it on as he is slammed into the
wall hard.. he is knocked unconcious.. the sound of screeching
metal as the ship is drawn into the orbit of Phobos station..-

-On the surface, blood covers most of the ground, a few remaining
marines are running for cover as an onslaught of demonic whordes
come racing towards them, The ship crashes into one of the main
reactors, exploding violently, the debris killing alot of
humans and demons-

-A marine grabs a chaingun, holding down the trigger with all
the pressure he can, a stream of fire comes out the tip, blowing
a blood drenched demon into flithy green chunks..The marine lets
off the trigger and looks around cautiously.. scanning for signs
of anything moving.. finding none he advances towards the old
abandoned part of the factory to his right.. almost tripping on
the corpses of the dead demons..-

-Game flashes to the main title sequence-

.. ok thats it,
its set like a month before Flynn taggart (the original doom guy)
makes his demon slaying debut as the final marine..

any kind of criticism or ideas are welcome,

i think im gonna make that part a cartoon, if its possible to do
that with the RPG maker I got..

-Zero

[nightmare imp]

Kick ass intro,that just kicked ass.Yah did a good job.
Pat yourself on the back,u win a medal.

[Guest Aradiel]

Pretty damn good. It's a lot like a script for a movie, which I'm guessing is what you were going for :)

Keep up the good work.

[Guest M0NSTERZER0]

nightmare imp said:

Kick ass intro,that just kicked ass.Yah did a good job.
Pat yourself on the back,u win a medal.

hahahah thanks for the props

and props to aradiel for that great icon
hahaha funniest shit ive seen so far today

-Zero