Tonight on the Late show with Dan...top 10...

[danarchist]

Hey everybody! Its time for the top 10. Tonights top 10...top 10 FPS weapons!
Ok...that was pretty stupid...but anyways here are my choices for the top 10 weapons of all time in FPSs:

10. CHAINSAW - Whatever way you slice it, this is the best melee weapon of all time.
9. SUPER SHOTGUN - Its just a lot of fun to run up and slam a guy with this baby.
8. CHAINGUN - Or minigun, if you like. Whatever you call it, it's the fastest way to deliver damage for those of us with bad aim.
7. MACE WAND - From Heretic, I think this is what it's called, whatever. It fires tons of little exploding maceballs. And when you turn on the Tome of Power, it fires huge, bouncing maceballs that can kill a Lich in two hits.
6. REDEEMER - Never before have first-person shooters and modern warfare been so closely united.
5. RAILGUN - Basically an instant kill, if you can aim. Pretty weapon too. Nice contrast between the blue of the shot, and the red of the top of the gun...and the gibs.
4. STAFF OF SET - You've probably never heard of this one. Its a thief's weapon from Hexen 2. Not very impressive until you turn the ToP on, wherepon any enemy hit by it gets drawn and quartered by chains flying out from the walls (think Hellraiser).
3. SENTRY GUN - This lil' baby is great fun if you're playing an engineer in TFC. Just get ready for some rebuilding when the enemy finds it's location.
2. BFG - While the 9k was a bit fun in Doom, the 10k was awesome.
1. THE SNARK - Don't move...you've got something on your back!

And now the boobyprizes:
Award for most cruel and unbalanced weapon...
The Cerebral Bore from Tourok 2...not only does it deal as much damage as a railgun, it virtually roots you to the spot as it slowly kills you over a 5-second period.

Award for best 'nonviolent' weapon...
The Grappeling Hook...much better than the translocator from UT, and any long-time gamer knows it's usefullness.

Award for most dishonerable death...
The Caltrop from TFC...meant only to slow you down, but it's 1 hitpoint of damage can put you over the edge. Especially bad if it's your own caltrop.

Award for esential weapon-carrier's companion...
The Tome of Power from the Heretic/Hexen series. Even a puny staff looks cool using this, and the differing effects make for excellent gameplay.

Well thats all...now what's yer favs?

[Lord FlatHead]

10. Quake II's grenade launcher
9. Red Alert 2's nuke (I know it's not an FPS but what the hell)
8. Quake II's minigun ("whirrrrr...." *gib*)
7. Quake II's railgun (just look at it ! look at it !)
6. Quake III Arena's rocket launcher
5. Counter-Strike's AK47
4. Quake III Arena's gauntlet (bzzzzz... *HUMILATION*)
3. Doom's shotgun
2. Doom II's super shotgun
1. The Snark - the single friggin' most terrifyingly squeeky weapon ever

[Espi]

In no particular order:
The penguins from Opposing force
Doom shotgun
HL revolver
Quake 2 shotgun
Quake 2 other shotgun
Any minigun that looks like a minigun and works like a minigun
HL RPG
Opposing force sniper rifle
Chainsaw
HL Handgrenades

[MaCvILeWhOrE]

Lord FlatHead said:

10. Quake II's grenade launcher
9. Red Alert 2's nuke (I know it's not an FPS but what the hell)
8. Quake II's minigun ("whirrrrr...." *gib*)
7. Quake II's railgun (just look at it ! look at it !)
6. Quake III Arena's rocket launcher
5. Counter-Strike's AK47
4. Quake III Arena's gauntlet (bzzzzz... *HUMILATION*)
3. Doom's shotgun
2. Doom II's super shotgun
1. The Snark - the single friggin' most terrifyingly squeeky weapon ever

Anyway you look at it, it has to be my fave:

THE BIG FUGGIMS GUN 10K FROM QUAKE2!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only is it the coolest energy weapon ever, but there is virtually no escape from it. The ULTIMATE LLAMA weapon without a doubt.

Besides, the plasma adds a nice thermonuclear charge to my coffee.

/me takes a sip

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

*bfg10k explosion is heard and a giant green flash coming from my house can be seen from miles away.*

HeHHEeee *fizzzzz* weLl HeeehEE * radioactive humming noise* forget about that, think i will just stick to pissing in my coffee, its nOt AAAs r rr risssky, HEeheehEE.

/me melts into red-green pool of thermonuclear waste mixed with gibs.