Spelling Request

[SgtHermann]

for the next episode of Hell Chronicles i need some native speaker advise:

"this shall be the tool of your revenge"

is this how you say it?
it should sound medieval. like an old language. like satan or cthulhu hands u something to release your hate.
i used google translate and it came up with

"this should be the tool of your revenge"

we all know translate-tools have a limit and since it should be eminent i ask you for help.

thanx in advance

sgt ;)

[Chezza]

Not terrible but not good either. I'm no writer but I may suggest something along the lines of "This is your instrument of death" "Use this weapon to slay the heretics and claim your revenge".

It's a cliche sentence but I think it matches your desires for a fantasy like weapon offering.

[ShadesMaster]

"And Hell shall betray thyself."
or
"And Hell shall betray itself."

You want catchy, to the point, not cliched, and not overdone. So I provide old, or OLD old. If the weapon is the Hellshot (or Hell, if they put the Reaper in snapmap someday soon), you're in fact turning their own tools against them. Revenge is implied. And this assumes the 'default' onscreen text style. A datapad arrangement would indeed leave room for elaboration.

[Fonze]

SgtHermann said:

"this shall be the tool of your revenge"

"this should be the tool of your revenge"

Both of these are proper. Though "shall" implies more of a command than "should." "Should" is much like a recommendation, though it can be either a loose recommendation or a forceful one.

ShadesMaster said:

"And Hell shall betray thyself."
or
"And Hell shall betray itself."

The second one is correct. "Thyself" is the equivalent of "yourself," (of which Hell cannot be, unless it is implied that the reader is Hell itself) but in the manner spoken several hundred years ago. I would recommend steering far clear of using "Old English" because there are a lot of little tiny rules and spellings which make its grammar much tougher to nail down than modern English. Also, misspoken/miswritten Old English always winds up sounding like a child wrote it.

[ShadesMaster]

"And Hell shall betray itself." - sounds deep, without sounding like TOO much. :P

Unless he's going for a more campy vibe in his level, in which case, "Hell vs Hell - I like it!" would suffice!

[SgtHermann]

"And Hell shall betray itself."
i like this one very much. it fits perfect in the theme i had in mind.

thanx a lot.

sgt ;)

[ShadesMaster]

NP :)
"And thus, his stance as a [childish] writer has been established...."