What is wrong with you?

[Pure Hellspawn]

MFG38 said:

Asperger's.
Getting jealous over literally everyone in a romantic relationship, the latest case being my own best friend.

doom_is_great said:

Wow. Now that you mention this, I have realized that this is a big one for me too. I almost get sick and mad jealous seeing former acquaintances and friends posting lovey dubby status updates on their Facebook walls that end up in my news feed. Especially girls that I have gone out with in the past or was interested in but are now in a relationship with some other guy. Makes me pissed and sometimes even depressed.

i can relate. all my ex-coworkers were taken (got a new job since). 3 and a half years ago i desperately wanted a girlfriend. i wanted to be loved and like my coworkers. i joined a dating site, and considered meetup (but never went). around the year 2014, i started craving solitude while still spending some time on dating sites. that was the year i actually started getting dates and meeting people and it actually got a little annoying at times, but i persisted. 2 years ago was the moment i met my girlfriend and we live together now.

i have full blown autism - not aspergers. i was nonverbal for a long time and had significant speech delays.

[Koko Ricky]

• Always had organizational issues. Slowly working on that. I've got too many projects going on and allocating time to each one is challenging.
• Living independently has proven difficult. I've done a fair bit of job hopping and now run a home business, but it seems I rarely make much income.
• Never quite got over being bullied as a child, and while I have no hatred in my heart for them, or anyone for that matter, I've slowly developed an inner critic that echoes their taunts, but in a disturbing grown-up way.
• Hurt my back working at UPS a couple years ago, and now can't apply for most jobs because anything involving my back--even sitting in a comfortable chair--is painful and distracting.
• Years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ADD and clinical depression, and my last shrink suggested I might have OCD. This tends to make me feel a bit uncomfortable, like I'm a "crazy person," and as a result I've developed a strong distrust of Big Pharma as well as the psychiatric industry.
• I've been an electronic musician for 12 years, but have yet to find a way to turn it into money. It's not that that HAS to happen, but it would be nice to generate a bit of income from it, since to me the main reason for making money is to keep a roof over my head so I can keep making art.

[DooM_RO]

GoatLord said:

• Always had organizational issues. Slowly working on that. I've got too many projects going on and allocating time to each one is challenging.
• Living independently has proven difficult. I've done a fair bit of job hopping and now run a home business, but it seems I rarely make much income.
• Never quite got over being bullied as a child, and while I have no hatred in my heart for them, or anyone for that matter, I've slowly developed an inner critic that echoes their taunts, but in a disturbing grown-up way.
• Hurt my back working at UPS a couple years ago, and now can't apply for most jobs because anything involving my back--even sitting in a comfortable chair--is painful and distracting.
• Years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ADD and clinical depression, and my last shrink suggested I might have OCD. This tends to make me feel a bit uncomfortable, like I'm a "crazy person," and as a result I've developed a strong distrust of Big Pharma as well as the psychiatric industry.
• I've been an electronic musician for 12 years, but have yet to find a way to turn it into money. It's not that that HAS to happen, but it would be nice to generate a bit of income from it, since to me the main reason for making money is to keep a roof over my head so I can keep making art.

Maybe you can make freelance music for indie games.

[Koko Ricky]

DooM_RO said:

Maybe you can make freelance music for indie games.

I've wanted to do that. It's really hard to find a game that's so early in development that they're still looking for a composer. I haven't had any luck on that circuit but I would totally do it if the opportunity arose.

[DooM_RO]

GoatLord said:

I've wanted to do that. It's really hard to find a game that's so early in development that they're still looking for a composer. I haven't had any luck on that circuit but I would totally do it if the opportunity arose.

Have you tried the mobile market? Music for YouTube channels? Intros and background music or something like that.

There's got to be some indie dev that needs music.

[Cupboard]

Yeah and some designers are real assholes, so it can't be unthinkable for a person like you to enter someone's inbox and upstage some already-selected composer who feels secure in their job

[CARRiON]

On a more serious note, I've had depression and anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. I have attempted suicide multiple times. Plenty of ER visits, doctors and pills all through life.

I have a borderline personality which basically means I have unstable and extreme mood swings, I often feel apathetic and unmotivated to care about anything, I fear being abandoned by my S/O and need constant reassurance they still love me, and my self-esteem is piss poor. I often respond to these extreme feelings with extreme reactions like throwing shit and drinking. Still trying to get treated, and the mental hospital here finally called me after almost 5 months of waiting.

When I'm extremely stressed, I experience muscle twitches, especially around the eyes, insomnia, extreme irritability, and hear voices either calling my name or trying to get my attention.

I have trust issues thanks to various people in the past. I'm very reserved now because of that, and I don't show much empathy for many strangers anymore. I extended my hand in helping a co-worker just last year and she ended up burning me badly, so yeah that really re-enforced my attitude that 90% of people suck.

Despite all of this, I do try my best to be a caring lover, son, brother and friend.

[Voros]

GoatLord said:

I've wanted to do that. It's really hard to find a game that's so early in development that they're still looking for a composer. I haven't had any luck on that circuit but I would totally do it if the opportunity arose.

http://www.indiedb.com/jobs

[BluePineapple72]

- I don't work to my full potential
- Lazy
- Addicted to being the center of attention
- Occasional asshole
- Probably too clingy
- Lonely
- Too damn ambitious. I have all of these great ideas for things I want to do but I rarely find the motivation to get these things done. These are mostly through fantasies of me making some cool video game or other piece of media that everyone sees and thinks is an amazing piece of work. I've mentioned many times that I've wanted to make some WADs, I have some great ideas that I really want to work on, but I'm too lazy to (and I'm pretty scared that they'll turn out like shit)
-Occasioanly annoying
- Too hard on myself

[AndrewB]

CARRiON said:

I extended my hand in helping a co-worker just last year and she ended up burning me badly, so yeah that really re-enforced my attitude that 90% of people suck.

I read this as "I weakly and passively tried to get laid, and got rejected." Because I can't think of any other interpretation that makes sense.

[Kontra Kommando]

I must have been chewing on my tongue in my sleep, because I'm all fucked up with an infection. I believe it also gave me a sinus infection; or vise-versa. This has caused me to have disjointed sleep for the past few days. Last night I slept a total of 3 1/2 hours. I wake up in the morning, and hack up bloody dark-yellow mucus, which is really thick, and chunky. My mental state is delirious for the first 20 minutes of being awake. I toss and turn like a baby in an incubator, whose health is failing.

[Wild Dog]

AndrewB said:

I read this as "I weakly and passively tried to get laid, and got rejected." Because I can't think of any other interpretation that makes sense.

Maybe he got burned literally. Or maybe you are right another case of "If i threat her like a Goddes she will suck my...."

rdwpa said:

I wish I was capable of looking nice in a dress or skirt or something, and it saddens me that it isn't really possible.

Unless you don't have legs or are a man... Every Woman can look good in a skirt some of them just need more effort than others.

[Fulgrim]

Forgot one. I have such a high tolerance for pain that it has become detrimental. For example a few years back I was moving around some super thin sheet metal without gloves. I cut my right hand open from the webbing between my thumb and pointer finger to the other side of my palm. I had my head phones on and was to busy listening to my music to notice that I had cut myself. About 12 min after I cut myself a co-worker comes up and starts kind of freaking out. He asked me if I was alright because I was clearly bleeding heavily. the front of my shirt and jeans where pretty much caked in blood at that point. Took five stitches to close my hand.

[YukiHerz]

I'm a crazy delusional idiot, a liar to myself, a fat piece of trash that can only ever hope to be at most average at anything, but at least I'm alive and I don't want to die or have such other cringy thoughts.

[Jello]

I am too good at life. I went to a Doctor, a Psychiatrist, a Guidance Counselor, Therapist, they all agreed I was just too good at life. It's my only weakness, being too good.

[CARRiON]

AndrewB said:

I read this as "I weakly and passively tried to get laid, and got rejected." Because I can't think of any other interpretation that makes sense.

Nice try. Except I was (and still am) in a same sex relationship when I met her, so no I wasn't interested in her like that. She was also in a complicated relationship already, so even if I was I wouldn't be foolish enough to try. Sorry, no dice. How sad that a male extending a helping hand to a female instantly means he just wanted to fuck her.

The reality is I supported her both emotionally when her BF was being an abusive jackass, and financially when she was in a rut. I even offered her a place to stay when she eventually went homeless for a short period of time because I didn't want her and her kids to be completely fucked like that. Because I was just being a caring friend, and she was a good friend back until she threw it all away. She eventually took all of this for granted and completely ditched town without so much as a goodbye. No, now she refuses to speak to me and I have a strong suspicion is also talking tons of shit about me instead. I've done this song and dance with people in the past who I thought I could consider a friend, but the reality is most people suck and the more this happens to me the less often I care to help or give a shit about anyone.

[printz]

Jello said:

I am too good at life. I went to a Doctor, a Psychiatrist, a Guidance Counselor, Therapist, they all agreed I was just too good at life. It's my only weakness, being too good.

Finally a positive post! Thank you.

[Chezza]

CARRiON said:

Nice try. Except I was (and still am) in a same sex relationship when I met her, so no I wasn't interested in her like that. She was also in a complicated relationship already, so even if I was I wouldn't be foolish enough to try. Sorry, no dice. How sad that a male extending a helping hand to a female instantly means he just wanted to fuck her.

The reality is I supported her both emotionally when her BF was being an abusive jackass, and financially when she was in a rut. I even offered her a place to stay when she eventually went homeless for a short period of time because I didn't want her and her kids to be completely fucked like that. Because I was just being a caring friend, and she was a good friend back until she threw it all away. She eventually took all of this for granted and completely ditched town without so much as a goodbye. No, now she refuses to speak to me and I have a strong suspicion is also talking tons of shit about me instead. I've done this song and dance with people in the past who I thought I could consider a friend, but the reality is most people suck and the more this happens to me the less often I care to help or give a shit about anyone.

I can't give you flak as I don't know your situation and it sounds like you were doing a great deed. Like a good Christian (whether you are or not). However I can't help feel you ignored signals that this work mate was the fuck wit in her complicated relationship and took her word for it.

[CARRiON]

Chezza said:

I can't give you flak as I don't know your situation and it sounds like you were doing a great deed. Like a good Christian (whether you are or not). However I can't help feel you ignored signals that this work mate was the fuck wit in her complicated relationship and took her word for it.

She was by no means a saint, and neither am I. She was in love with a somewhat abusive and uncaring partner, and that's kind of what I mean by complicated relationship. She showed no signs of being two-faced or shifty. She was funny, outgoing and liked to cook and have cookouts. She was an extremely good worker too and a good mom for her kids. Despite everything, she was just going through bullshit like the rest of us, and we became good friends fast so naturally, I like to help my friends anyway I can. Her fucking me over was sudden and I doubt she 'planned' any of it, she just decided to be a total cold bitch towards me before running off with her jackass BF (who I constantly hear still abuses her). If she did she's an idiot because she told me some extremely private things about herself and I could easily make her life a living hell, but I'd rather just try and forget her like she tried to forget me instead of playing stupid games.

Lots of people will take advantage of your goodwill. Seems I just attract this kind of person, hence I'm starting to wonder if I should even attempt establishing a friendship with anybody anymore.

[AndrewB]

CARRiON said:

Nice try. Except I was (and still am) in a same sex relationship when I met her, so no I wasn't interested in her like that.

Fair enough.

The reality is I supported her both emotionally when her BF was being an abusive jackass,

Then the takeaway lesson should not be "90% of people suck", it should be "women are attracted to assholes for a reason; I should stop trying to 'fix' them"

and financially when she was in a rut.

Trying to "financially help" anyone other than absolutele immediate family, I'm talking parents, siblings, children, is ultimately a mistake of some form 100% of the time. Damsels in distress are pretty much on the same level as homeless drunks on the scale of "being worth helping".

I even offered her a place to stay when she eventually went homeless for a short period of time because I didn't want her and her kids

Your story has so many stereotypes, if you wrote it as fiction, it would be panned for being so cliche.

to be completely fucked like that. Because I was just being a caring friend, and she was a good friend back until she threw it all away.

When you dole out your "friendship" to other people so haphazardly, you are devaluing yourself as a person, and making it impossible for anyone to have any respect for you.

She eventually took all of this for granted and completely ditched town without so much as a goodbye. No, now she refuses to speak to me and I have a strong suspicion is also talking tons of shit about me instead.

The way she treated you was utterly understandable and predictable. Probably the same story with all the other people. Hopefully you can eventually understand why this is the case.

[Kontra Kommando]

CARRiON said:

Nice try. Except I was (and still am) in a same sex relationship when I met her, so no I wasn't interested in her like that. She was also in a complicated relationship already, so even if I was I wouldn't be foolish enough to try. Sorry, no dice. How sad that a male extending a helping hand to a female instantly means he just wanted to fuck her.

The reality is I supported her both emotionally when her BF was being an abusive jackass, and financially when she was in a rut. I even offered her a place to stay when she eventually went homeless for a short period of time because I didn't want her and her kids to be completely fucked like that. Because I was just being a caring friend, and she was a good friend back until she threw it all away. She eventually took all of this for granted and completely ditched town without so much as a goodbye. No, now she refuses to speak to me and I have a strong suspicion is also talking tons of shit about me instead. I've done this song and dance with people in the past who I thought I could consider a friend, but the reality is most people suck and the more this happens to me the less often I care to help or give a shit about anyone.

In retrospect, do you think her bf was a bad guy after all?

[Gamer With Dignity]

antares031 said:

For the last 4 years, our country has been run by a puppet, controlled by her corrupted confidantes. She was already impeached by the parliament a couple of days ago, and her approval rating is dropped t... oh, well. I should quit talking about politics here. :S

Oh wow I read about that recently. It's troubling how much of the world is being run haphazardly as if it were a game.

MFG38 said:

Asperger's.

Be glad you're not a neurotypical.

AndrewB said:

Then the takeaway lesson should not be "90% of people suck", it should be "women are attracted to assholes for a reason; I should stop trying to 'fix' them"

You have that all wrong. The takeaway should be that 100% of people suck including and sometimes especially yourself.

I've heard advice such as your own given before and it's not only mildly sexist but encourages men to act like cowardly jerks, only to have the world (rightfully) take them to task over it. Women aren't attracted to assholes and they're not attracted to doormats either. It's entirely possible to be both.

[Soundblock]

AndrewB said:

When you dole out your "friendship" to other people so haphazardly, you are devaluing yourself as a person, and making it impossible for anyone to have any respect for you.

You're giving CARRiON a hard time for showing kindness. I have more respect for people that go out on a limb for others, even if it in retrospect proves to have been naive, than for people who are so reserved as to never dare take a gamble on someone else's decency.

[Guest]

A lot 

Edited July 26, 2017 by Guest

[Jimmy]

I'm just way too god damn fancy

[Tarnsman]

AndrewB said:

When you dole out your "friendship" to other people so haphazardly, you are devaluing yourself as a person, and making it impossible for anyone to have any respect for you.

In the great collection of 'peak-fedora' quotes AndrewB has graced Doomworld with. This might be the most fedora of them all. And that's particularly impressive when the same thread also includes gems like, "Then the takeaway lesson should not be "90% of people suck", it should be 'women are attracted to assholes for a reason; I should stop trying to 'fix' them'"

[Cupboard]

The art of the dole! I guess we are not ice cream shop scooper material. You gotta have the art of the dole down pat.

[AndrewB]

Tarnsman said:

In the great collection of 'peak-fedora' quotes AndrewB has graced Doomworld with. This might be the most fedora of them all. And that's particularly impressive when the same thread also includes gems like, "Then the takeaway lesson should not be "90% of people suck", it should be 'women are attracted to assholes for a reason; I should stop trying to 'fix' them'"

You've got it painfully backwards. Guys who are inexplicably driven to help any m'lady in the slightest bit of distress are the ones tipping fedoras. Why do you think they're even wearing them in the first place?

If you replaced the word "fedora" with "Oakley" or something then it would have made sense.

[CARRiON]

Kontra Kommando said:

In retrospect, do you think her bf was a bad guy after all?

Couldn't tell you. On one hand, he held a job and got clean off drugs. On the other hand, when I'd go to hang out with her and him he was a real investigative prick and a giant child who refused to cook or clean anything and he absolutely disliked and instigated her children. He was physically abusive in the past when on drugs and mentally abusive when clean off of them. I didn't really care to get to know him on a personal level because of his teenage angsty mentality he had.

AndrewB said:

When you dole out your "friendship" to other people so haphazardly, you are devaluing yourself as a person, and making it impossible for anyone to have any respect for you.

I don't just hand out $20 and $50 bills to every stranger that comes up to me with a sob story and try to be friends. However, if I'm around someone daily? Like a co-worker or a friend of a friend for example? If they don't immediately look like a shifty person or like they're on hard drugs, or any other obvious signs of not being worth your time, I enjoy getting to know them and trying to establish that connection. I don't enjoy being extremely reserved or being a total shut-in.

Also keep in mind that I'm not meeting new people and potential assholes every day or even every month, and not every single person I meet decides that I'm not worth anything anymore. I've met a number of great and trustworthy people that I've know for years now and who saved me trouble on multiple occasions because I went that extra mile to be an actual friend and getting to know them.

It's just unfortunately really demoralizing when you get to know someone and hang out with them for a couple years, and they even help you out when you need it and suddenly one day they decide their next best move in life is to backstab you. It makes it harder to justify trying to be friends with anyone anymore and it honestly pisses me off because I enjoy meeting new people. I probably take it harder then most because on my personality disorder but it really fucking hurts when it happens.

Really though, I don't need your advice and I don't care that it all sounds cliche to you. I was not trying to be her fucking therapist and 'fix' her, I was just being a good friend. I'm starting to wonder if you have any of those. Saying that I shouldn't offer someone that I knew well and who has helped me immensely at times, despite what she eventually did to me, a roof and a little bit of money so her and her kids are not in the rain (which it rains constantly where I'm at in Oregon), that's just being an overly reserved and cold prick. She may have fucked me over but I do not regret that decision, at least for her kids' sake.

[Kontra Kommando]

CARRiON said:

Couldn't tell you. On one hand, he held a job and got clean off drugs. On the other hand, when I'd go to hang out with her and him he was a real investigative prick and a giant child who refused to cook or clean anything and he absolutely disliked and instigated her children. He was physically abusive in the past when on drugs and mentally abusive when clean off of them. I didn't really care to get to know him on a personal level because of his teenage angsty mentality he had

To me, she sounds like an irresponsible asshole to expose a low-life like that to her children.

what kind of drugs?