Tristan

In attempting to diagnose my inability to create consistently and figure out how to improve things, I've hit upon a realization that I've felt for ages but never consciously noticed: I am positively terrified of putting things out there nowadays. All I've managed recently is either a few maps for outside projects, or a couple solo pieces pulled from incomplete or abandoned works. For the past few years, it feels like reviewers who do thorough map-by-map analysis (the Doomworld Megawad Club, Dean of Doom) have been contributing to my ever-growing self-consciousness regarding every decision I make within the editor. It stresses me out thinking that whatever I do may be picked apart and heavily scrutinized, map by map, piece by piece. All I want is for people to play my work and hopefully have a good time, without the perceived weight of expectations on my shoulders and without the fear of my ideas being torn to shreds by players.
 
Is this an irrational fear of something that every creator out there has no choice but to face and accept? Yes. Does it still eat away at me like you would not believe? Also yes, and sometimes I feel as if I'm approaching wit's end when it comes to the creative process. Is this a necessary post? I don't know.

Met a dude on a friend's art stream who was streaming Eviternity alongside my friend's artwork. Discussion happened, and the dude was legitimately shocked that I knew a certain Tristan that makes such great music. His favourite is 'Stardust' :p

@Tristan this is indeed far harder than I thought it would be. Hopefully the end result 'looks okay' (We all know everyones going to just hit the lights out switch to hide the ugly anyway :D)

Congratulations on this milestone!
And that's including the 1600+ additional map entries resulting from some 90 more PWADs getting covered during roughly that period.

Taking a break from Doom and community happenings for a while. I'll likely return once I've gotten myself back in order mentally, and once I've reassessed what exactly drives me to continue creating things.

Look fam, it's you! You're in a Decino video! :^D
 

 
A lot of people I recognise are in here. @Lippeth @pcorf @Gustavo6046 @Jimmy @Eris you guys all have your musical contributions featured too! 

i landed

So I wasn't misremembering your Plutonia midi pack Cyberden midi being in a beta form in one of my birthday maps afterall. I didn't think about actually finishing them again till they were recorded on Doom Launcher's stay tracking, and sure enough, that midi plays as the intermission in an early rendition. 
 
The second map is still totally unwinnable BTW :p years of skill improvements have not improved me enough. 

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

i landed

My brand new website is LIVE.
https://www.jamespaddockmusic.com/
 
This snazzy new look and feel for the site is courtesy of the supremely talented @Dragonfly.
 
Note: Update your bookmarks! The URL now contains https and www.

Accidentally got my Twitter account locked for 11 hours because I told Trump to fuck off back to his gilded tower and choke on a hamburger lmao

The Two Titans

10 years ago today I embarked on a crazy mission, to create a Doom 2 megawad all by myself.
 
Took me the following 13 months of on-off development, but turned out pretty good in the end!
 

Doomers playing on the Bethesda.net port, check out your Add-Ons page - Deathless has been included as DLC for Ultimate Doom!
 
Hope you enjoy!
 

Just letting you guys know that if my jobs shut down due to COVID, you are getting another Jimmy megawad.

Here's an update on where my personal projects are at for anyone that cares. These are all the maps that I'm seriously considering working on, and hopefully nothing else gets added until all of these are finished. The amount of projects I have are especially embarrassing.
 
Single Maps
Los Números del Diablo (for [REDACTED]) - Needs difficulty tweaking and playtesting. Paralyzed! Restrained by Artificial Alignments (for zekhmet) - Core fights and blueprint are done, just needs a loooot of fleshing out, and a looooot of tagged sectors. [REDACTED] (for [REDACTED]) - Only have a paper draft of it, shouldn't take too long to create due to project limitations, but will be a pain to get "right" since the concept & puzzles require precision.  
Projects
Panophobia - Ah, the big boy. I need to finish "The Fear of Making Choices", as well as the first secret map in the set, as well as remaking the final map in the set. That's three really big maps that require months of work. Afterwards, I have to update three maps to make sure their gameplay is up to par ("Fear of Water", "Fear of Darkness", "Fear of Meat"), find someone to replace "Fear of Being Alone", and ideally someone to replace "Fear of the Past" as it feels too much like a traditional Doom map. For anyone keeping count, out of the non-intermission maps, that's 8/17 total maps that need considerable work, with four of them needing to be started from scratch. I think if I could probably find someone to work on the "Fear of the Past" map I'd get back to working on Panophobia, as losing the map originally slotted there was a big blow to my motivation. Stalking Death - The first map of Stalking Death needs to be properly balanced but its layout has been done for a while. The third map needs a major area designed for it (a red brick fortress with multiple floors) as well as the cavern system finished. Second and fourth maps only have scraps, and will be left unfinished when I make the WIP thread for it. I'll only consider working on those maps when everything else is off my plate. Part of the appeal of Stalking Death for me is I can work on it without wringing my hands over quality and nuance, so I'm trying to save it for when I get burnt out on other stuff. Exuviae: Odyssey - I need to playtest one map before the WIP thread can be created—which I haven't done yet because the map is so long and exhausting. The project aims to be six "central" maps, and only the first three will be completed when the WIP thread is made. The thing that's stopping me from working on the other maps is that I haven't found textures for the last three "Exuviae" experiences. I know what the fourth map's gimmick is, have a loose idea for the fifth map, and know what the final battle will be to the sixth map. I have a visual concept for each map in my head, although the last one seems impossible to create in Doom as-is... it'll likely require a LOT of Boom trickery (find me a way to animate lungs in sector form—not textures—and we'll talk). Merciless - 12/32 maps are done, 8 more are slotted but incomplete, the other 12 are up in the air. Still no concrete plans to even release a beta of this (it's not great), but the closer it gets to being completed, the more serious I'll become. The only reason I'd want to release it is that the final map is so tremendously sadistic that I can't help but want to see what others would think of it. God is a Hunter - The project spawned from "how would I design a Hell Revealed Post-Mortem map?" and boy howdy is it a foul bitch. I have half of an unfinished map and the project is aiming to be three maps total (one prologue, two core maps). If I can find a cool concept for the last map (or another famously hard map I'd want to re-imagine), maybe I'll return to it. Could be a single map release, honestly. Robincry - Half a map done out of six total (sensing a pattern, hm?) Unlike almost everything else on this list (barring Panophobia), I 100% plan to finish this, because I love its concept and aesthetic. Only thing that's really kept me from working on it more is I worry people will really dislike its peculiar brand of gameplay... but what else is new? MNENMA - Only have two midis so far and the idea for two maps, one of which came from a dream. Honestly, don't expect this project to ever really materialize, as it'd require too much work to properly form. Maybe if I became a millionaire or something.