Battle_Korbi

K1RBY COMPLEINZ

Today's subject:

ASEXUALITY!!!

*** WARNING - MAY CAUSE COMPLAINTS - MAY CAUSE PEOPLE TO WRITE "tday generation is pussified" ON THEIR SOCIAL NETWORKS - MAY CAUSE "No really not, you are the baby here fucking pussy" REACTIONS - MIGHT CAUSE CRINGE ***

Why do I write shit like this?

So today, I was having a talk with this girl (and this is my third time talking with her about this), which apparently managed to turn into it from a simple "You look tired" line. How the fuck?

Anyways, from a simple chat, I think someone dropped "Hey you two should kiss".

TRACKING MISSILES LOADED.

CHAINGUN READY.

"DEFENSE PLAN" ENGAGED.

My casual mood dropped from that second onwards, as I got jumpy inside myself. I think I remained cool on the outside, not sure.

Anyways, I think the reason why I got so defensive because I got scared. I dunno how, I just kinda considered the whole thing to be a massive prank, and that someone wants to see me humiliated, since I have no life and everything, talking with a girl is something of a new world wonder, or the Holy Spirit descended and made me speak. Either way people "on the outside" (out of my social circle and class probably) are stunned by the fact that someone THEY WERE SURE was some virgin who gets nosebleeds while talking to any female person WAS talking to a female person with a clean nose.

I just... never have problem talking with people, regardless of sex, just maybe age (are they old enough to be talked to as a elder?), so this concept kinda bothers me. I get it, some people don't like me, but do they really have to go that far and turn me into some hentai-addict with a penchant for playing old games? I mean like, what the fuck, dude? If I am doing something wrong, consider telling me, man!

Mostly because I don't really say I do something cool but turn out to be a text-book loser who looks like he popped out of a GTA already "satiric" 'verse, masturbating and being envious "of de reel men!". I am not in puberty anymore. No more of those funny hormones that made me a pathological liar for a long time. I am now a man of my own word, and a man of a written word. And most importantly...

I am asexual.

That is what bothers me.

It is like saying I am a greedy gold-plated billionare. I am not one, don't want to be, nor am I envious of other people's riches.

That is the thing with asexuality.

In general, when someone says they are asexual, they are saying that they don't feel any sexual attraction coming from ANY sex/gender. In that matter, I've got a bonus. I simply don't like sex either. As a hormone-possesed 12-year old, sure, I wanted to see what was all the fuss about, how does it feel, and to find out why other boys liked looking at nude women. I am not going to lie, I tried porn as well.

I didn't get the point of it.

About how did I misinterpreted this stuff, read here. (could be interesting if you have a teenage boy in your household)

Anyways, pretty much after that we started talking AGAIN about it.

I mean, I get it, I cannot expect anyone to know first hand about asexuality, but still, we talked about it. She boutta know I wasn't joking or if I was self-depreciating again or if I said that to look cool. I mean, I do not want to talk about it with her anymore because she constantly thinks I am calling her ugly whenever I say I don't find her sexually attractive (that is how we got to talk in the first place, a stupid prank gone educational and most importantly, nothing laughable happened :D ), nor anyone for that purpose.

But today she went deeper, like:

"So, when do you plan on starting a family?"

When I get a full-time well paid job after college. Next!

"How do you plan on doing it, since you don't like it?"

Much like how sewer workers keep going into the sewers. They might not like it, but you've gotta do what you have to do.

And numerous other questions.

I constantly kept thinking she was actually into me and not in for a prank, and expected her to do something about it. Well, if she did, I didn't see it. If she didn't, good. And just talking to her about it makes me sad about it as well. I constantly feel like I am turning her down, especially since she hasn't done anything bad to me yet.

But there is dickish side in me which says that she is taking a pity on me by trying to talk with me, and keeps complimenting me thinking I find my sexual orientation bad or something and that I want to kill myself. Maybe she wants to convert me?!

I think everyone around me shares the same viewpoint. That either I am saying I am asexual to be cool or that makes me think less of myself?! Why didn't anyone consider that I am asexual and not pretending?

Well yeah, I do think less of myself, but only because of my laziness and procastrination. I pretty much love everything else about me.

I mean, when I draw Google-translated chinese words on my hands, that is "trying to be cool". Saying that I am asexual is not "trying to be cool". When I keep saying I would fail at life, this is where you give pity unto me. Not when I say I am asexual. Fuck, I am even proud to be asexual, at least I don't have to bother with impressing anyone for the time being and I can devote that extra time to playing Doom or something.

Fucking sheesh. I am not supposed to even care about it, but yet here I am, annoyed.