Before I begin, I'd like to express my sincerest apology to everyone in the doom community. To both speed runners and mapper for my shameful dishonesty. What I am about to confess isn't as simple of a mistake as it may really seem because its too severe to be easily reprimanded for. You might have already guessed it by now, but I . I was dishonest in submitting some of my demos that I passed of as non-TAS demos to the DSDA and as you could imagine, this will be a detailed confession. For those of you who may not know, I go by the speedrunner alias "A7MAD" and I cheated in some of the runs that I submitted from 2017 September up-to 2018 February, only within this specific time-frame. Here I am confessing about this in 2021; nearly 3 (and a half) years later.
As @Ancalagon called me out earlier in the channel, there were some irregularities with some of my demo and rather than this being a leaving confession or a Shakespeare play, it will just be a "simple" confession; with some background information.
Let me start of first on how all this came about. 14/15 year old me stumbled upon doom back in early 2017. I became interested in the game because I had played it earlier with my friends as early as 2009 so I had joined the doomworld forums under the alias "A7MAD" where I, more or less, participated in the forums where I started spouting real regrettable stuff back then. I then decided to participate in the speedrunning category of doom, in which I tried speedrunning some of the incredible maps that were trending at the time, most notable of which: New Gothic Movement 2, Italo and Experiencing Nirvana. I played them for the first time, had great fun (mostly) and tried speed running them. At that time, I was never really aware of prboom-plus's TAS feature, since I was a complete novice after all, so everything I had submitted up until then were legit for the most part (2017 Pre September). After getting acquainted with those TAS features, and submitting a couple of chillax TAS runs, I started speedrunning one of the harder wads and I was frustrated that I couldn't get an exit despite me practicing over this map and being able to achieve a time of "sub-whatever". Even after I was this close to finishing the map, I'd usually just die to one of the annoying things that keeps frustrating me but yeah, I was terribly bad in the game back then, with little to no information on game sense so I though that: Hey, cant I just use those TAS features that I learnt previously such as segmenting and use them in the demo? I didn't think about it much at the time, I just went ahead and did it not even fearing the severe consequence of my actions. At the moment, I had stepped into a realm of something I can never turn my back into. Fast-forward to mid-February 2018 and I started realizing that what I was doing was not just bad, but really really bad. Only then, had I realized the gravity of my predicament especially with seeing my TAS runs marked as non-TAS in DSDA. After this, I stopped submitting TAS demos and started submitting legit demos such as my sf2012(s), sl645, it11(2:48 and 2:51) demo which I though were amazing to my surprise . I saw Kimo's confession and I though I should do one myself and then move on, but even a simple task of confession was too much for a coward like me. It then became a never-ending cycle of me wishing to confess because of my guilt but as a coward I couldn't go ahead and get it over with. Now comes 2021, I am now 19 years old and I learnt over the past years to own up to my mistakes and I avoided ending up like my stubborn past teenage self of mine. I can now finally be rid of this guilt and be at ease with myself knowing I can get this message through. I already contacted @ZeroMaster010 about what my next steps are, and you can expect some demos to either be removed or marked as cheated, but I hope that everyone can find a place in your heart to forgive me. I take full responsibility for my actions and I make no excuses for myself. I never submitted any TAS demos after 2018 Feb and I never will. The fact that the community has grown to such a substantial growth even baffles me to this day. I will continue making doom demos out of my own enjoyment so call me out for being foolish all you want because I totally deserve it.
Have a nice day,