Tobester

So yesterday I woke up about 10:30 and the day started out normally. I woke up, put on my sandals, walked over to the computer (hereafter known as 'Suzie') and booted up so I could check my emails and see whats going on dwf.
Computer starts up fine, I check the latest posts in the randomvg thread, add a few of my own, and decide, 'HEY! Lets open Doom Builder!' Fueled by Ola Bjorling and George Romero, I add 2000 sidedefs, mostly curvy shit thanks to DB's great 'curve linedef' feature. Evans City is starting to look more realistic every second. "Hmm," I think, "Let's go into 3D mode and align some of those crazy textures!". Once in 3D mode, I blissfully fly around my map until...

*CLICK*

I look over to Suzie, but I can see nothing. The problem is on the inside. Frantic, I get out of 3D mode and try to save, but the computer freezes before my mouse pointer can get over 'File'. I reboot, and the computer boots to the Winxp Welcome screen before it hardlocks again. Crying, I reboot again and I get a horrible message. UNMOUNTABLE BOOT VOLUME in huge capital letters against a BSOD. I reboot again and again and again, trying safe mode, safe mode with networking, safe mode with command promt, everything.
Blinded in fury, I kill my brother and three homeless people before I come to my senses. I realize there's nothing I can do. So I go downstairs and plop in front of the TV for the first time in a long time.
Hours later, I realize my brother is unusually quiet in his closet-sized room. Theres no constant Clay Aiken music coming out or fapfapfapfapfap. He's grounded to his room, so he's either sleeping or not there. I enter and find his window open, with a rope made out of bath towels hanging out of the window.

<arioch> people actually do that?
<tobester> yep

I go downstairs and inform dear old Mom.

<tobe> chris is gone, he escaped from his cell using a rope made from his unwashed jizzcloth.
<mother> I'll warm up the car, you go get your asskicking boots on.

We drive and get our buddy Fat Eric, who earned his name from being a 5 foot tall 12 year old 300 pound motivation for birth control. He knows where my brother is, so we get the cavalier into gear and pick him up, where he claims he 'escaped his room to go paint'. We arrive home and find a car parked in our spot, so we park behind it. My sister babysits occasionally, and the mother had come to pick up her child.
She leaves. My car is not in front of our house.

<tobe> hey mother, can I move the car forward 20 feet
<mother> sure
<tobe> get in the passenger seat, if im going im taking someone with me.

So we get in and drive the 20 feet. But im not done.

<tobe> around the block?
<mother> *sigh* ok. Be careful.

I drive around the block. I feel like an old person. When I get back onto my street, I nearly take off the driver side mirror of a blazer, but I get back safely.

And that's the story of the first time I drove my car.