stan1234
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About stan1234
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I never really left to be honest, instead I ended up just going by different aliases and submitting demos as I normally did. Will list those other aliases below.
Distortion, Volatile, stanners, woze5870, Hertz
Only started playing under the alias "Volatile" yesterday, but I figured that it's time to come clean about this instead of just repeating what I've been doing since I "quit" Doom, since I've already took this way too far.
I'm still not really sure why I did what I did, but I can agree that what I did was pretty odd. And I kept this going for a lot longer than I should have done. Apologies to shock, since he'll have to merge my DSDA profiles. As if I wasn't enough of a pain when I was spamming 30 demos a day.
Nothing has changed though in the past 6 months though, Doom is still an addiction for me. I do intend on quitting Doom and speedrunning as a whole now. But we all know how it went last time I said I was going to quit Doom, so it's hard to tell for me if I can stick to my word, since last time was a shallow promise. Bye I guess.
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I wish you the best, Scuffed. It is bad to be addicted to doom but what you have done now is really really weird, I think it would not be a bad idea to talk to a professional because it is possible that you will relapse again.
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Hey, scuffed, there's really no trouble merging your profiles, don't worry about that. While I personally have enjoyed many of the cool runs you have contributed to this community, mental health is a higher priority, and I hope you seek out some help if this is genuinely affecting your life this negatively. NGL, Doom speedrunning can be quite addictive, so I understand where you are coming from and don't think worse of you for being unable to break it. I wish you the best regardless of what you choose to pursue in the future.
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I agree with Juancho, what I did was strange to say the least, even if there were no bad intentions. I was fixated for a long time on getting a "fresh start", for a few reasons, but that doesn't excuse making 5 alternate accounts. Sometimes I struggle to comprehend why I did shit that I did, I don't know why I didn't just make another account and stick with it, and even that's still an odd thing to do.
When I mean addiction, I just want to clear up that I wasn't spending unhealthy amounts of time playing Doom (at least after August, when I was done with the spamming), it was mainly the fact that I didn't enjoy the game, yet I kept coming back to it. Even if it's not the true definition of addiction, it definitely still resembles what I view as an addiction. Like instead of doing something I wanted to do, I would just be sat playing a game that I didn't enjoy. That's not how I want to live my life. I don't think I phrased some of the things I said in my last post correctly, since "addiction" is very up to interpretation, and I was being quite vague.
I do intend on making this my last post, since I don't think there's much point in posting on Doomworld if I don't even play the game anymore (I haven't touched the game in the past couple of weeks, just in case if anybody cared to know). And since I pretty much exiled myself from the community (at least that's what I feel like I've done), I don't think people would want to see me back.
I do genuinely apologise for what I did, I was being ingenuine and it was just an overall weird thing to do, especially considering how long I kept on going for. But I thought that I'd make the last post I did (on March 20th), since I wanted to get shit off my chest.
Thank you all for being a great community.
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