Darkhaven

Holy shit.

Now, most of you are wondering what this is going to have to do with the Food & Drug Administration and the Federal Trade Commission, so here it is: It
dawned on me as of recently that Americans today are taking more drugs than ever before, but at the same time, nobody ever gets cured from the drugs
the FDA and FTC allow into our society. I decided to do a little research on this topic just to see what was going on, and I discovered a few things many
would find hard to swallow: First of all, there are over 5 cures for cancer available today. In fact, at least 3 of them were available 30 years ago! For
example, there was a man about 'yay long ago that came up with a serum that could shrink a cancerous tumor and cause that tumor to virtually vanish in a matter of
approximately ninety minutes. Not only this, but the FDA suppressed his efforts and eventually outlawed the fruits of his labor- this only proves the fact
that all the FDA wants is more money; Dr. Betruger was right.
Also, there was a scientist who invented a machine a little further back down the
timeline which could cause the complete and utter elimination of cancer cells throughout the patient's body instantaneously through a certain sound
wave frequency. Unsurprisingly, this man's efforts were also suppressed by the FDA and FTC. In addition, there are at least 2 different natural compounds
that could be ingested and would, in a matter of days, eliminate cancerous cells in the patient's body.
Next up, there was a man who discovered
that the use of a kind of marine plant could be ingested which would yield the same general effect as the two aforementioned natural compounds; he
successfully cured over 30,000 people of cancer with this method.
Moving on, (alot of you are not going to believe this) but through a little research and very little effort I've stumbled upon a cure for Acid-Reflux
Disease: Get some apple-cider and mix it with a small amount of vinegar. It may not taste like the best thing in the world, but it's just about guaranteed to
cure Acid-Reflux in a matter of days.

Moving on to some more serious matters, here's something that will make you choke on your pop-tarts: In the mid-70's, there was one man who discovered
a recipe for "no-hunger bread," which acted sort of like a "cure" for obesity. However, this is where the FDA comes in- they got wind of his medical claim, and
took action almost immediately, and informed him that he was no longer selling bread, but he was selling a drug. Now, prior to this, the FDA
had successfully passed a completely bullshit law that stated that "only drugs can prevent or cure a disease."
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?!
Anyway, they confiscated all that bread, which was enough to feed over one million homeless folk (like me), and destroyed it without the thought to give
it to the homeless. Bunch of fucking federal dickwarts at work, eh?

In addition to all this bullshit, here's the universal cure to viral sicknesses: drink some fucking hydrogen peroxide. I know it sounds bad. Trust me. But think about it;
it's a proven medical fact that viruses cannot survive in oxygen-rich environments. That should be enough to get the point across.

The mods and admins here are going to be on my ass any minute now along with the rest of you knobs, but before you make some retarded-ass negative comment to
this thread, take a second or two to think about it; do wild animals ever have heart attacks? Do wild animals ever get acid-reflux or cancer? Well, scratch
that bit about cancer, but still, it's very rare.

I just wanted to test out some tags and w hatnot. Hell it if you want.

aer
MORON MORON MORON MORON MORON
ridiculous