Creaphis
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I feel privileged that I'm able to fully appreciate this work of art. You really do have to be obsessed with Doom to be able to catch all the subtleties of how things slowly (and then quickly) break down. My dozens of completionist Ep 1 playthroughs have paid off.
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I have mixed feelings on practicing socialization online, just because my own addiction to Runescape got in the way of learning to connect with people in the real world (which is what I really needed at the end of the day). But it's also hugely valuable to have safe spaces to socialize in, even if those spaces are online. It's a hell of a lot better than nothing. I agree with trying online roleplaying groups like WoOp suggested. The nice thing about gaming groups is that you'll be spending time with the same people every week-ish, so you'll get to know them over time - their personalities, what's going on in their lives, what they're struggling with, etc. However, there isn't any pressure to talk about anything personal. You can, but you don't have to. If you're comfortable meeting people in-person I'd suggest Googling "<your city here> board game club." If you like gaming, that would be another way to meet people who tend to be mature and accepting of people who are neurodivergent. Again, you can mention personal stuff when you want to, but you don't have to! Don't worry about fitting in - the only people who aren't welcome back to board game club are the people who are aggressively petty when they're losing. Don't be an asshole and you'll be fine. If you don't own any board games that's totally okay. Plenty of people in the group will have their own massive game collections and they'll just be thrilled that you're there to help them justify all they money they've spent on them. I don't recommend card game clubs as much. Magic the Gathering and Yugioh are expensive hobbies and you're more likely to run into people who are younger and more competitive in an unfriendly way. In general though, any community group (like gaming groups, organizations that recruit volunteers, choirs, recreational sports leagues, the right church if that's your flavour) has that same perk - you can talk about personal stuff but you don't have to. I really can't overstate how valuable this is when you're getting used to putting yourself out there. It takes away most of the pressure of socialization and you still get the benefits. You don't have to impress anybody with your charming personality. Everyone there is just happy that you're there, getting involved in something that they care about. They'll like you by default. Personal conversations will happen occasionally in a naturalistic way and you'll feel closer to everyone there as time goes by. If you want anecdotal evidence of the magic of community groups, I'm an awkward fucking mess at parties but I met my wife by singing in a choir every week. I agree with most of what rita remton suggested too, but I need to add something to it. You shouldn't go into social settings with the attitude of "I need to learn to express myself better." Go in with the attitude of "I'm good enough as is, but spending time here today will help me feel more comfortable around people." If you go into social settings feeling like "I have to know a lot of stuff and I have to say interesting things but I shouldn't dominate the conversation and I have to remember to ask questions but not challenging questions and I have to try to connect on an emotional level but I shouldn't show negative emotions or weirdly positive emotions" then you probably won't accomplish what you're hoping to accomplish. Obsessively self-monitoring will make you feel more anxious about socialization and more disconnected from the people around you. You won't want to socialize at all if it's just a massive anxiety-inducing chore and then you won't get the practice you want. Self-monitoring also gets in the way of just being your authentic self, and your authentic self is good enough. Yeah, I don't envy your situation of trying to find free therapy in the US. You can try googling "<your city here> free therapy counseling psychology diagnosis" or something like that, and see what comes up. Some non-profits offer free therapy (with a long wait list). Some universities offer free psychological diagnostic services as practice for their psych students (again, with a long wait list). One last thing! If you're feeling overwhelmed in your life because you're not sure what direction to take, like whether to work or not, and this means that you end up not doing much of anything, just pick one single goal to work on for the next month or two, and just work on a single baby step towards that goal. You don't have to work on everything all at the same time and you don't have to accomplish miracles in a month. Do one single thing and feel proud of yourself for doing it. If you want my suggestions, try to find either one free psychological resource or one interesting community group in your city in the next 30 days.
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This post is an awesome start. Well done! You're definitely not the only person here who's felt this way. People gravitate to niche hobbies like retro games when they're looking for a place where they can feel competent and in control. A lot of us probably came here for similar reasons. I definitely grew up not understanding myself well, and when I thought I understood myself it was still just the depression talking. My friends were like your male family members. Good guys, but not used to saying or listening to deeper and more personal things. I think what helped me was getting involved in more social settings where being radically open and radically accepting was the norm instead of weird. (Disability support work at first, social work school later.) Or maybe I got lucky and met some weirdly open people. When you know people who are very open about their inner lives and very accepting of yours, it helps you practice that kind of communication yourself. And it also helps you learn that you're good enough as you are, because other people accept you, including your own personal communication style. Depending on where you live and what you do, you might actually have more access to therapy than you realize. Schools, employee benefits and insurance plans usually have some programs that could be helpful. Otherwise, I do recommend getting involved in some kind of social service volunteering - it's a good ice breaker with people who are likely to be naturally caring and who will like you from the get-go because they're happy you're there to help. Also, it was a huge help for my mental health when I started distracting myself from my own problems by focusing on somebody else's. However, I apologize if this is an unrealistic suggestion; I realize most people right now are barely keeping up with their lives so saying "just volunteer more" might not be helpful.
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Fair enough. Changing anybody's mind on any subject is a nigh-insurmountable challenge, and right now we're talking about a group of people that is especially closed off against new information and prone to forming their attitudes from feelings instead of facts. So yeah, practically speaking, we have a better chance of outnumbering and outliving these people. That said, even if it's useless to say "you're wrong," we can still avoid casually accepting prejudice from people and make it clear that being outwardly bigoted comes at the cost of losing connections. We can also try to find the last nuggets of empathy in their stunted hearts and make an emotion-based appeal: You should be ashamed. I don't think Carmack personally did anything horrible and I'm not arguing that we should try to wipe him from the face of the internet (if that was even possible). I'm disappointed that he's signal-boosting shitty people and therefore showing them that it's okay to be shitty. Shitty people are gonna be shitty no matter what, but we shouldn't be okay with that, and apparently Carmack is. If it seems like I'm holding Carmack to a higher standard than everyone else involved in this BasedCon that's just because 4 hours ago I only knew good things about him and this was an unwelcome change. Everything happening in Florida right now is beyond horrifying.
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I'm not sure if I'm joking with that title or not. I actually am really disappointed that he's headlining a sci-fi convention that's specifically for people who are "tired of woke propaganda." I guess he really is just famous for his technical acumen and I shouldn't have expected him to have emotional intelligence on top of that. https://www.basedcon.com/ Here's his tweet trying to justify his involvement as non-political. In reality, condoning and signal boosting shitty people is a political act even if you don't want it to be. And straight white cis men really are responsible to tell other straight white cis men that selfish bigotry is not okay. Bigots don't care when people outside of their in-group tell them to fuck off. That just fuels them. They need to hear it from their in-group. Ignoring that responsibility is a moral failing. Thoughts?
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I just wandered back to take a look at the 2020 Cacowards and I played this first. Awesome work Antares! I played on UV and really enjoyed the fight choreography and gorgeous abstract visuals. The weapon and enemy changes are satisfying. The "Do you like revenants?" meta moments made me laugh and the bonus ending map is incredible. I did have to give up on MAP31 when my poor laptop slowed to 1 FPS (and I don't think I would have been able to hack it anyway). My only critique of that map is I would have liked it if the restocking points for the final fight were easier to navigate to. The central pillars in the middle of each group of four lowering platforms with megaspheres and cell packs could be more visually distinct somehow, so the player can still home in on them when they're blinded by the horde of enemies in their face. Usually my spatial awareness is pretty good in this game but that fight totally overwhelmed me - though I guess that's kinda the point.
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Damn, what happened to blogs?
I was going to write some heartfelt screed about where I've gone in life since I posted here last but this really doesn't feel like the place- Show previous comments 11 more
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Yeah, I was surprised to see I've been stripped of my title. I definitely still deserve it.
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I've been putting off buying a new desktop PC for years, and now I've finally decided I'd rather have a laptop anyway, which should get me out of my basement and into my kitchen.
I'm thinking 15.6" screen, big enough to see and small enough to carry. 1366x768 max resolution is fine. Aside from that it just needs to be reasonably good at playing things and doing stuff by modern standards. A friend is already telling me to get the Lenovo IdeaPad Y510p on sale for $850 on this page. If anyone wants to show me some better performance:price ratios or warn me about important things I haven't thought about then that's what this thread is fuckin' for.- Show previous comments 10 more
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I ended up buying the laptop I linked in the OP.
hex11 said:I bought a used Thinkpad with 15" widescreen and don't like carrying it around much. Should have got a smaller machine... bigger than a netbook, but smaller than this.
I did choose a 15" over a 17" to cut down on some excess bulk.
ArmouredBlood said:You'd think laptops are great for going around town and having something to do while waiting for class/lunch break/appointments/etc, but after my college years commuting, I don't really see a difference between what I'd be doing on my laptop and I see others doing with a smartphone (I do not own one), besides doom mapping and adding 3+lbs to my backpack. If you really want to play a game, you'd be at home, in your computer area/living room, not setting up near to someone doing something completely irritating.
I'm not sure I'll worry about dragging this thing to classes when I go back to school - there's just something special about taking notes on paper like our primitive ancestors did - but I'd sooner take notes and write essays on a laptop than on a smartphone. I'll never use this thing just to kill a few minutes at a time, and I'd never use a smartphone for that either, because there's nothing I can do in five minutes that doesn't leave me feeling drained. Worthwhile activities take longer. I see myself setting this thing up where I have the space and time to read, write or watch something all the way through, and next to a friend's computer when he wants to play something. The freedom of mobility will be a relief even if I don't end up taking advantage of it all that often.
Technician said:I use a Mac. I'm not one of you programing/mod nerds; I use my computer like one drives a civic.
Same here, but if I got a Civic after paying for a Mercedes Benz I think I'd be disappointed, wouldn't you? The only way I know of to get a Mac for a fair price is from your friendly neighbourhood black market. -
I'm technologically inept and I find Macs and iThings in general utterly confusing.
For example, I got an iphone 3gs last year. I wanted to put a custom ringtone on it.
With my previous mobile phone from 2000, all I had to do is connect it to my computer with an USB cable, and drag and drop the music file I wanted to use.
With the iphone, apparently I need to install specific software (itunes) that will always run in the background and use resources unless I do complicated (for me) computer trickery to get it to stop. Opening that particular piece of software greets me with a bunch of random categories plastered everywhere about stuff I don't want/need, complete with unintuitive names. When I finally find out I'm supposed to click on the name of my device or somesuch, there's no simple "transfer files" option. Instead, I have to go through some kind of "synchronise" option; which of course I can't get to work, no matter how hard I pray for the immortal soul of Steve Jobs.
How is this easier or accessible?!
Rhetorical question. I know there's people who find "RT @SuperCoolKid34 LOOOOOOOL~~~ #YOLO #JustinBieber" to be easier to read than "heh, that's funny" or even a simple lol. And there's also the whole reading from bottom to top prevalent in every popular site ever. Obviously, everyone else is weird and I'm the only sane person alive. -
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As in, we figured out that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. She's the one who started the conversation but it was more or less mutual.
Commence sympathizing.- Show previous comments 15 more
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Phobus said:Has this been a particularly lengthy (6 months or more, say) relationship?
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Shit was so cash.
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Creaphis said:
In this case, she's actually the one who wanted to show me her Yugiohs.
I figured this, which is why I worded my post the way I did.
Creaphis said:I guess I'm guilty of wanting to show her off, but if you replace "cool" in the above sentence with "bizarrely nerdy" it will more accurately reflect my sentiments.
In circles such as this, the two are interchangeable.
edit: looks like eternalslumberparty beat me to it -
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As in, I finally went on one.
Yeah I'm a real Casanova.
Commence backslapping. -
Mine were no exception, for today I turn:
-Chronologically 23
-Cognitively 17
-Emotionally 12 -
Since I've been using the Blogs forum to reassure myself that my life really isn't as shitty as some others out there, I'll do you guys the same favour and tell you what went wrong with my day, so you can be happy that at least it wasn't you.
Today, I was scheduled to see my grandma in her hospital bed (a fairly important gesture, even though it's not much fun) and to go to one of my favourite Christmas family gatherings. Well, that all changed when I woke up by soiling myself. I went to the toilet right away and just about passed out from the trip. My hands actually started vibrating like I had Parkinson's, maybe from lack of blood or unstable body temperature.
I've spent twelve extremely uncomfortable, extremely boring hours tossing and turning in my bed. It's 8 pm now, and I've only been able to force myself out of bed to go to the bathroom and to take care of my cat, which is my responsibility of course because I've been alone all day. I'm not sure I'm actually feeling any better now but I had to get out of bed because the isolation in my dark room was driving me crazy.
I've eaten nothing all day but a glass of apple juice and two crackers, and even that made me nauseous beyond belief. I actually had to induce vomiting for the first time in my life because my stomach just felt so awful.
I know the flu's pretty mundane, but it's the best I can come up with. I'll tell you about some real disasters when they happen. -
Keep the nomination thread clean by posting all your other crap here!
No, I'm not involved with the Cacowards in any way. I just saw a need and filled it.
EDIT: Changed the link, as the official Cacowards nomination thread is now in Wads & Mods. John Smith requested that the official thread be kept clear of discussion so I guess this thread is still needed. -
I'm sure that you've all been missing me horribly, so I apologize for my extended absence. It's not that I've been busy getting my life on track or anything - it's just that I managed to get interested in Runescape again, of all things, and have been spending my gaming time making this. Anyways, to make up for lost time away from the Doom community, or, more accurately, as punishment for leaving it, I impulse-bought this at a pawn shop:
I've never seen it before. I'm going to watch it.
Also, I just got back from a weekend in Vancouver. I took eight pictures of Vancouver and about three thousand pics of clouds on the flight over. I'll probably post something about that yet.- Show previous comments 13 more
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We didn't really miss you. Although apparently someone else did
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The "4" button is upside-down! So wacky. -
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You've accomplished helping some random forumite appreciate that no one really needs to know what they're doing, even if they're already 20-25 years young. And also helped this random forumite appreciate the need for a simple life despite the constant pressure GO DO SOMETHING DAMNIT. Happy birthday and just keep chillin'
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Yup, here's one.
Here's another.
The difference this time is that I'm not prohibiting myself from surfing the internet, or even from surfing Doomworld. I'll probably keep posting here on a semi-regular basis - but, it sure as hell won't be from my home computer, because in a moment I'm going to unplug the network cable from the back of my computer. Then, I'm going to unplug all other cords, leads and wires, separate all items of hardware that make up this computer, and possibly hide them all over the house. I've already uninstalled all of my games and deleted the porn stash I was keeping in my "discrete math" folder. The idea is to make it as difficult as possible for me to make the decision to "fuck it all" and then spend an entire day, or weekend, or weekend-plus-the-two-following-days-of-classes, absorbed in the most foolish and unsatisfying of computerized pursuits, suppressing the urge to pee, the urge to eat, and any and all thoughts pertaining to reality. For some of you, my dismantling my computer may seem like an unnecessarily drastic response, like when AndrewB chopped his balls off, but honestly, my life is in a shambles. Yes, I realize that being depressed an unmotivated is the norm for an aimless student, but I like to think that I bring it to the next level. Also, I've realized that my brain chemistry is not actually to blame for my behaviour, as I think I actually have a naturally positive disposition, but what's suppressing that is an obsession with virtual escapes that passes the clinical test of "addiction" with flying colours. They say that talking about these things is good for you. This is such a lame addiction. I wish I was addicted to something cooler, like cocaine or opium. I was watching an episode of A&E's Intervention and this one girl was addicted to aerosol computer dusters. All I could think was "That is so lame." At least I can live with a can of aerosol computer duster without struggling with temptation.- Show previous comments 17 more
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DuckReconMajor said:
I was saying that you really don't have any "TV addicts" today.Because we got used to it. I bet they didn't have "racial discrimination" back when slavery was commonplace, either.
Creaphis said:
Their affliction becomes a part of their identity, and thus they hesitate to give it up. If I would rather consider myself, not as a lazy individual, but as a capable but addicted individual, will I be properly motivated to give up a problem which, while not part of my identity, is the cross which I get to bear?Recently I was reading some letters exchanged between Rainer Maria Rilke and Lou Andreas-Salomé and she more or less recommended avoiding a psychoanalytic "healing" of his issues because she judged they were tied to his creativity. In retrospect, given his renown as a writer, she may have been right. Not to say that is your case, but it's smoother to be motivated by something rather than just being bent on avoiding something that motivates one. That is, saying no to something vital is unproductive if there isn't something else to say yes to instead.
That said, technology nowadays is a pervasively intrusive thing and I don't think it's unwise to be somewhat suspicious of it. The Internet is useful and interesting, but can quickly become something akin to an endless stream of advertisement-ridden zapping ready to overwhelm space in anyone's head. -
myk said:
Recently I was reading some letters exchanged between Rainer Maria Rilke and Lou Andreas-Salomé and she more or less recommended avoiding a psychoanalytic "healing" of his issues because she judged they were tied to his creativity. In retrospect, given his renown as a writer, she may have been right.
Interesting. On the other hand, I once came across an analysis of Tchaikovsky's life which argued that his most productive periods were those when he was least troubled by his posthumously-diagnosed bipolar disorder. The relationship between an artist and his affliction and the effect this then has on creative output will certainly vary from individual to individual. In my case, I have nowhere near the requisite levels of genius necessary to trasmute pain into masterpieces so I'm better off just making my happiness the priority.
myk said:That is, saying no to something vital is unproductive if there isn't something else to say yes to instead.
I'm looking. I'll find it. -
I too have the problem of internet addiction, mainly fueld by the fact that my job is mind numblingly boring and I have un-monitored and unrestricted internet access for the duration of my 10 hour shifts.
I feel the underlying cause is my frustration with my life goals. Ultimately I want to find a career in animation, but getting the proper education and tools to do so is severly impaired by my shitty job and insistence of my parents to do something else ("we'll only pay for your college if you go into engineering")
So when I feel guilty about trying to do the things I love, or when I don't feel like doing my homework because it isn't helping to accomplish my personal goals (which is all the time in both cases) I have found that a wonderful substitute to dealing with my life's problems involves getting blitzed out of my mind on drugs or surfing the internet (activities which can eat up days of my life when I'm not careful)
So simply cutting off your proverbial internet balls isn't going to cure you, you'll find something else to fill the void which is equally un-productive. Perhaps it would be more pertinent to find the underlying cause of your problems and resolve those. Besides we'd all miss you too much to let you go for long.
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Yeah I really need to de-internet myself for a while again. My brain is doing some weird shit.
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No really. Tell me.
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With all these DOS game threads that are already in this forum I'm going to start my own.
This recent discussion has inspired me to take a look at some classics I never saw the first time around. I was trying to run Blood yesterday, but what I discovered is that Blood, and presumably many other DOS games of the same era, exist in a sort of gamer's no man's land. Older DOS games can be run on DOSBox with no issues. Newer games are Windows-compatible. But, Blood in DOSBox slows my computer to a crawl. Now, I can actually run Blood on this XP machine with no layer of emulation, with sound, but the sound is very distorted, of course, and it suffers from periodic slowdowns - every 10 seconds it gets jerky for about 2. I remembered reading something about VDMSound and tried it out, and the sound quality problem is fixed, of course, but the slowdowns remain. If I turn sound and music off I can run Blood in XP with no slowdowns, but that's just not good enough. I need to hear Caleb's catch phrases. My sound device is an integrated Realtek ALC 880. The software I have for it seems to be just some flashy demonstration program with no useful settings. I've heard tell of "legacy drivers" but I have not yet found any signs that one exists for the ALC 880.
Alright Doomworld, strut your stuff.- Show previous comments 8 more
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I find setting cpu and cycles to auto is best for most games, certainly for shooters like Doom and Heretic.
The DOSBox doco states 16 is the biggest memsize one should use, but that's not always the case.
I have all the odd soundcards and joysticks and serial ports and other shit I'm not using turned off too.
If you're using OpenGL for video output, fullscreen will run a hell of a lot more better than windowed.
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This song was inspired by a phone, and like a phone, was made to simultaneously hold your attention and aggravate you.
http://www.mediafire.com/?mmzkzdczmog- Show previous comments 1 more
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I listened to it with the old 8Mb emu10k soundfont.
It makes me feel like I'm playing one of those "serious business" point-and-click Sierra games of the 90s, like Kings Quest or Quest For Glory. I can just imagine the pixelated ingame cutscenes, complete with characters mouths cycling through their 4 frames of animation while text appears above their heads, telling some melancholy story of an arbitrary princess/item you must rescue/collect.
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Bucket said:
WMP11 doesn't know what to do with it.
Weird. It works for me wherever I play it.
Super Jamie said:I listened to it with the old 8Mb emu10k soundfont.
It makes me feel like I'm playing one of those "serious business" point-and-click Sierra games of the 90s, like Kings Quest or Quest For Glory. I can just imagine the pixelated ingame cutscenes, complete with characters mouths cycling through their 4 frames of animation while text appears above their heads, telling some melancholy story of an arbitrary princess/item you must rescue/collect.
Ha, interesting.
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I've been sitting on this game for a while now. I've never actually played it before, but I've owned it (through Steam's ID Super Pack) for some months so it's time to finally give it a whirl. Now, the reason I haven't already chewed it up and spat it out is because I've always figured I should first upgrade my graphics card from what it currently is: a wiry scab on my motherboard. I never even bothered to install it. Well, that's all turned out to be a complete non-issue. I'm running it at the lowest possible resolution, of course, but when I look out across the opening room, even though I have the detail setting cranked all the way up to medium, my framerate still averages a solid thirteen. Thirty in a dark corner! This is going to be sweet.
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I wish the PDA contained more puzzles... You'd think that with so many lost agendas and information, you'd pick up pieces of some astounding side detective story. But no... Just some light inside jokes and the obligatory coded objects.
I also hated Betruger with deep passion. His repeated appearance and Captain-Obvious evil intent defeated all the remaining horror plot, turning Doom 3 into a Doom 2 with more darkness and different monsters. The almighty Soul Cube helped not. It was no horror game, not even at the core, at least for whoever did play Doom and Doom 2.
The PDA could have been used for an automap. It's activated by the same key as well. And if Doom 3 had an automap, it could have had better maps as well.
What were the id guys waiting for for so many years? -
Never had problems playing it on my box, then again I had set it up in 2005 specifically to be "good enough" for contemporary games, including Doom 3. In details:
Athlon 64 3200+
1 GB DDR-400 RAM
120 GB S-ATA HD
Ati Radeon 9600 XT (far superior to comparable nVidia cards of the time)
It did slow down significantly in some areas, but when I played Doom 3 again with updated drivers, the slowdowns didn't reoccur.
If on the other hand you're trying to pull it off with a TNT2/MX440/5200 then good luck with that... -
I have to say that the first handful of Doom 3 levels are excellent. When you first start, the formula is fresh and exciting. The darkness and sounds are very eerie. As time passes, things get stale and I'm tired of navigating corridor after corridor completing vague and unmemorable objectives. That whole atmosphere created right after all hell breaks loose was very well done. The radio chatter was chaotic and frightening. I understand that id wanted the game to be a "lone survivor" kind of thing, but that just wasn't enjoyable after a while. Once you reach Alpha Labs, the fact sets in that you are just going to be shooting around in the darkness for 15 hours until the game is over.
Plus it seemed kind of strange that the entire marine force (save Bravo Team) was eliminated after what, an hour and a half? I would expect to find some kind of a lone squad holed up in a storage area or something. But nope, the player never meets anybody else substantial after the fighting starts.
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It's an "I'll be back later" post, for the sake of those who may have noticed the Creaphis-shaped hole that's been in this forum for the past month, either to your chagrin or delight. A circuitous explanation follows.
I'll be the first to admit that my brain doesn't really work as well as it should, particularly in the creative fields. I've already had a few private conversations here on this topic. Essentially, the problem is this: I want to make things that are really good, and, as I've been engorging myself on culture and relentlessly analyzing it for most of my life, I've learned to appraise the quality of ideas and executions. BUT, I haven't been spending my life creating, aside from designing spaceships out of Lego about thirteen years ago, so I don't have any useful experience in actually making anything. This has led to a mental impasse: I am uninterested in making things that are within my ability to make, because I realize they would be average and bland, and I am unable to implement ideas that actually have some uniqueness to them because I don't have the practiced skills to do so.
I'm talking about my difficulty with making Doom maps, of course (though the above paragraph is accurate if you keep just about any other medium in mind). I've tried a few different things to mediate the standoff. I signed up for a couple community projects; it didn't work. My own personal standards of quality are still higher than I can match, and the pressure to get a large, difficult task completed by a certain date just makes it harder for me to work on it. I wrote this post (warning: it's in post hell now, so mute your speakers or whatever it is you do), to keep me off of these forums, which would hopefully free up some time to actually map something, but this self-imposed hiatus instead just made me realize that Doom is a hell of a lot less important than I thought it was.
I'm still fascinated by video games as an art form, as they do something that is impossible in any other medium. Books, visual art, graphic novels and film can show you another world. Music and the more abstract species of other media instill in you the emotion of another world. But video games, only video games, allow you to explore another world. I find this fascinating, for escapist reasons, I guess, but it's still fascinating, and I'd like to build such a world before the inevitable catastrophe occurs that once again leaves us bereft of the technological capacity to do so. A simple engine like Doom's is logically the right place to start practicing. But, before I can actually contribute something to the canon I need to learn to free myself of any concern for pleasing others, of any concern for pleasing my own aesthetics, and just try putting things together, the same way I used to build spaceships out of Lego.
Many of which were very ugly.
So yeah, I'll be back later. Just in case you care.- Show previous comments 15 more
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esselfortium said:Well, I for one have missed your posts.
Seconded.
Creaphis said:Because all negative stereotypes about atheists are true and in my quest for godhood I've turned towards the notion of achieving mastery over fictional universes.
I wonder how many times God created Heaven, Earth & etc. - only to scrunch the whole lot into a tiny ball of matter and start over - before being satisfied with the results?
The creative process can be as circuitous as a game of Snakes and Ladders. You used to build ugly spaceships out of Lego - I'm building an ugly retro computer in Doom Builder. It's not a playable map and may never be finished to my satisfaction, but that doesn't matter. I started it in part to experiment with engine features I'm not familiar with and what I learn in the process might in due course find it's way into a map worthy of Brandon's mighty list.
Don't be a stranger.
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Considering that I just spontaneously developed a new blind spot, about 10 degrees left of straight ahead, as if a segment of my brain responsible for higher processing of visual signals simply ceased working entirely.
It seems to have rectified itself now, but I must make a note to take better care of my noggin.
That really freaked me out for a couple minutes - it showed up while reading, and the second-last word I read always had two letters missing from it - in their place, there was white paper.
So yeah. Wanted to tell somebody. And I'm glad I dodged a bullet, I guess.
