Jimmy

Jimmy, we’re all family in this. We all have each other. I wish you a merry Christmas!

Happy Birthday James Padlock :V

';,,;'

Happy birthday Jimmy

Oops shoulda highlighted the guy. @Dragonfly

That's right up there with these kind of images, heh

Is Metroid's gun part of his arm?

Metroid doesn't have a gun, he only eats mushrooms that let him throw fireballs.. You're thinking of Sonic, who uses his his gun to freeze the ghosts that chase after him.

heh, there's a two-eyed caco photobombing the last picture :) Cool stuff!

(also scarlett 2i2 spotted o/)

Is that a K120 keyboard I see? I have a K120 too!

Oh shoot, how did this fall under my radar? Haha, thanks. :D

Really cute. Barrels have never been more emotional.

According to this, all Doom barrels hate Doomguy. Was he a convicted barrel abuser?

It's for this reason I'm not actually following anyone yet. Guess I'm not a cool cat though! :P

My cat thanks you. Now give her some cat food, she's hungry. :P

The coolest of cats.

That's actually pretty clever.

Hey, I like that channel! Good stuff.

Eep, a reminder of work I should be doing.

I want Skittles and Bits to be recomposed in Minor.

It already is in a minor key. :V

Major, then.

The number can be changed OBVIOUSLY but I'm wary about just making it infinite right out of the gate in case some person decides to notification-bomb the whole forum by "like"ing every single piece of content.

I'd say keep it limited. Give those likes some sort of value.

25 is a good number. You only need 4 of it for a super big number, which is cool.

Good job

i'm still trying to find out how it works. it just redirects me to my profile page whenever i click on the "What's on your mind?" tab.

oh wait there it is. that's kind of counter-intuitive.

Swedish Princess Cake is still my favorite when it comes to cake. its most defining characteristic is its layer of green marzipan, which can sometimes vary in different colors, and sometimes has a marzipan rose in the center.

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you can find numerous recipes of it if you search for Swedish princess cake (the "Swedish" bit is important; otherwise you'd get results that are more in-tune to what you'd think a "princess cake" would look like.) i dunno if bakeries in other countries carry them around regularly.

Jimmy said:

I posted this thread at midnight Nov 30. That cake was actually made and eaten the day before, which means your well wishes are far from belated. :D Thanks everyone!

http://i.imgur.com/4gFqAdp.jpg

Still the literal best thing ever.

That picture clears up a lot of questions I had with the OP's pic. Jimmy, did you mix the crust mix in with the cheesecake? Heh, still looks good tho.

Anything with cream cheese frosting and multiple layers. Yes, carrot cake, yes.

The rejected wedding cakes that sometimes get delivered to my work.

The Super Triple Double Choco Decadent cake they have at chain restaurants.

Let us know when it's up, I'd like to revisit those forums.

Marcaek said:

hey tango might as well mention that a complete backup of the st archive was obtained and a zan admin is working on getting it up somewhere

holy moly that is amazing, I would love to see that!

My first memory of you Jimmy is working with you on plutonia 2! I felt like everyone on the team (you included!) was a big shot and I was just the small fry that someone had dragged in to throw in a couple of things, and I was very nervous around everyone. (I also didn't have a huge amount of experience in writing music for Doom back then!)
So I'm glad you kind of took me on board a bit and trusted me :P
By the way, since I am so sloppy with keeping my email inbox maintained, I still have the old plutonia 2 development emails from late 2008/early 2009 from the yahoogroups thing.

I wish you luck in becoming a lich and preserving your lifeforce in a random thing.

Oh and happy late birthday, too.

You kids are so young, I remember when I was 24.

Happy birthday, you can actually write yourself a Happy Birthday song now without getting sued to hell.

Happy birthday. Still 12 years before you hit your prime so enjoy your miserable youth while you still can! (Easier said than done, I know).

Happy XXIII Birthday Jimmy!

Happy birthday!

When I saw the title I thought of the XIII game oddly. Anyways happy birthday.

After listening to Cars again, I can see where your inspiration came from. I think our opinions may be jaded because the video you had us watch had the lyrics in the video and were pretty loud and clear, I'd suspect that you ducked out the music to make the lyrics more in your face, but in Cars, it sounds more like the lyrics are secondary to the music, like most pop music.

Rap and R&B tend to use song lyrics as the primary focus, with the instrumentals just in the background to keep the thing moving along. I'm not suggesting you change your genre, but the thought of digitizing the vocals like darknation said crossed my mind too. You can keep the words and all but you might wanna keep it a little more calm and a less in-your-face.

I hope I was specific enough, I hate when people critique my work in all generalizations. You definitely have something going on but I'd be hard pressed to say I'm in love with it. (coming from a guy who listens exclusively to death metal and it's subgenres)

Jimmy said:

May I ask what would make the lyrics better? The writing process behind them was pretty long and hard thought-out, so if it's the way they're phrased or arranged, or whether it's the rhyming scheme or the imagery (or lack thereof), then I'd like some constructive criticism on that - as a lover of the English language.

strange that you'd mention Gary Numan as an influence; the way he wrote lyrics / approached themes was either genius or full retarded. Apparently he used to take short stories he wrote when he was younger and mash them into music. You can pretty much read any metaphor you like into them, and this in turn keeps the lyrics from deconstruction. The listener is simply not given enough information to come to a conclusion one way or another.

When writing pop-ish music, I'd say you'd want to be as vague about the subject matter as possible whilst still incorporating arresting mental imagery; a rape machine, you say? How uncanny. But what does it all mean?

Oh yeah, American Pie. Good song, but fuck knows what drugs that cunt was smoking at the time.

Numan is also a fairly weak vocalist. So was Ian Curtis (Joy Division, personal favorite), for that matter, but they both get away with it because their songs are good at firing up the imagination. I guess it's the old adage of, 'show the audience, don't tell the audience'.

I'm also with 40oz in that I am pretty much a metal head, so any advice I can give about writing poetry / lyrics comes from that particular, uh, preference. But something like

You think you know it all
But if you think you know me
Then you're quite the fool

strikes me as on overly long and unclever way to say anything. Shit, it's practically written in words of a single syllable. Condense what you want to say, fit some ambiguity and imagery in there. Render it, sing it like you fucking mean it. Use bigger words, get some meat in there. Think in metaphor: someone who knows nothing, whose head is empty, some fucking gaping human void, utter vacuum, some life sucking space-whore, a vicious cock-chewing vampire, a black hole, a life eater, dead space bitch, whatever. Tell your story interestingly but leave gaps, let the listener enter the spaces between and inhabit the song or story in his or her head.

I could, of course, be entirely wrong. And there is nothing worse than someone who has never written something standing over your shoulder telling you that, 'yeah, well, if I wrote an album it would be better than yours' despite the fact that they have never and will never come close to doing so. Take what you will from it.

You should try to emulate Dream Theater's melody, not their vocal style, IMHO.

Work gave everyone a Mini for christmas last year.

Good size, having a tablet is handy. But fuck, iOS is frustrating to use for anything other than web browsing.

My iPad Mini is currently acting as an overpriced photo frame and bedside Reddit viewer. Can't think of anything else I'd want to use it for.

Last year I had a few friends that bought iPads for work and or college. They couldn't type properly with auto correct making them look like retards and 2 of them took them back to get an actual laptop. The other 2 friends just don't use them and went back to their old devices.

My gf's work gave everyone an iPad mini last June or something like that. She never uses it. She's a Mac person totally, but she feels the touch screen doesn't work for her at all.

Anyone find it interesting how many free iPad minis there are floating around there?

Microsoft will be doing the same thing with its 6 million unsold surface tablets >> http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/492120/20130718/microsoft-takes-900-million-charge-surface-tablets.htm

Your Dad? Sounds like it's a combination of long accumulated psychological stresses, a mid-life crisis, and homesickness. Really though, who can say? We can't know, because we don't have anything to go on beyond your testimony, and you can't know because you lack the objectivity or expertise to make an accurate diagnosis. Frankly, it isn't a question of what is or isn't wrong with your Dad. The issue is how you choose to behave in response, as our own behaviour is the only thing any of us really has true control over.

Firstly though, I'd question exactly what you want to get out of posting these blogs? Do you really want advice, or simply a place to vent and get some sympathy for how shitty your situation is? If it's latter then fair enough, you're certainly entitled to sympathy, as your situation is shitty, but there's not much point the rest of us hammering away telling you what we think you should do if that's not what you're looking for.

Presupposing you do genuinely want advice, you seem like an intelligent person, so I don't think there's much we can tell you that you won't have already considered and understood, at least on an intellectual level. Of course, there's a difference between understanding something intellectually and understanding it emotionally, and then another gap to actually acting on that knowledge. You clearly understand intellectually that it would be beneficial for you to remove yourself from the situation you're presently in, but you don't seem ready emotionally to make such a decisive break from your family, and even less ready for the practical realities of doing so.

Others have already told you in no uncertain terms to move out and yes, if you have the means and mindset to do so, then it would likely be a good course of action. However, perhaps it isn't practical. You only arrived in the country relatively recently, don't have a high level qualification, and may not have the money or support network necessary to move out. That doesn't mean though, that you can't take actions to improve the situation and to gradually engineer the circumstances where you will be able to move out and become independent.

Your home situation reminds me of several people I've known, less the unhinged father, who stay in the family home rather than moving out and getting their own place or going to university. They enter a state of arrested development, somewhere between childhood and adulthood, where they are ostensibly mature and independent, yet still living in an environment essentially unchanged since their youth, reliant on their parents and treated by them as somewhat less than adults. Some of them even had jobs and cars and the means to become fully independent if they chose, but remained trapped in this state simply because it was easier.

You mentioned going to university in one of your posts, and it seems like it might offer a good solution to your predicament. It would allow you to move out without necessarily causing a breach with your family, experience greater independence within a structured environment, establish a wider network of friends and acquaintances, help develop your musical ability and give you a qualification that may help you get a job (alongside the portfolio of work you could build up over the course of your studies). The value of the qualifications attained through higher education is probably significantly less valuable that the opportunity it provides all young adults to establish themselves as a person independently from their parents. It is a pain in the arse applying to university, I remember it well enough, but if you choose to make it a priority, and can get yourself excited about the opportunity it offers, then I'm sure you can do it.

In the short term though, the question is how you choose to deal with the situation with your Dad. Like I said, you can only control your own behaviour. Repressing your anger until it eventually boils over in some apoplectic rant isn't going to help the situation. Find a way to defuse the anger you feel, by writing, hitting inanimate objects, meditating, whatever. Change how you react to your Dad's behaviour, by choosing not to get angry. Choose to see it for what it is, a symptom of illness, and rather ridiculous in its own way. Choose to detach yourself from the situation and observe it as you would a film or TV show.

One way to deal with the situation when you Dad does start ranting is to physically remove yourself from it. When he starts, or when it looks like he's about to, simply leave the room, leave the house and go for a walk. If he wants to know why, just calmly explain that his behaviour makes you uncomfortable and you're not going to tolerate it. Seriously, just get up and walk away, even if it's the middle of the night. Don't get angry, don't allow yourself to be drawn in emotionally by threats, demands or any other kind of manipulation, just leave. You need establish boundaries, and the easiest way you can do so is with your own behaviour.

Don't focus on trying to "fix" your Dad's problems somehow, that isn't your responsibility. If the opportunity arises, explain to him, (again, calmly) that you think he is unwell, and should seek counselling. Don't get into an argument, trying to "prove" he needs help with examples of his behaviour, or engaging with his paranoia or delusions, simply state that you don't see things as he does, thank you won't tolerate his behaviour or even discuss it unless he can do so calmly and rationally. Remember at all times, that how you react is a choice, and at any time you can choose to remove yourself from a conversation or a situation.

Finally, try and find activities that will get you out of the house. Whether it's taking music lessons, playing sports, joining a book club, a knitting circle, a different band, a dungeons and dragons club, online dating, volunteering for a charity, bike-riding, exploring the wilderness, visiting a library, anything that helps to regularly get you out of your home environment.

Thanks for that post, Jonathan. I'm still trying to digest it all but it's a great help.

I think I'm going to make a concerted effort to get myself into university by February 2014 when the next first semester starts. I'm not entirely in favor of joining mid-term, as much as I'd like to be dynamic enough to go through the application process and be in a class by July 29th. What I do until then, I'm still not sure, but I'll keep searching. There must be something to do on this big old continent that I've spent most of the last 1.5 years exploring less than 60 square miles of.

...

So my mum and dad had a blazing three-hour-plus row today that went all sorts of ugly directions. It started when my dad was telling his mum about the state of the family and perhaps being overly negative about the whole thing again. My mum was very dischuffed by this, and I'm still not sure a resolution to that has been met, because my dad got really defensive. Aggressively defensive if that's even a thing. As usual, I butted out, and while I wanted to say some things, couldn't find the ability to phrase them as I felt I'd just make things worse like it usually goes. My brother got angry at the degree the argument escalated to, said some things which I thought were fair, but then he left and the argument continued. At this point in time, I don't even care if my mum and dad's marriage is currently in jeopardy. I simply cannot find it in me to summon the fucks to give. I'm emotionally dead to the situation.

There's no need for anyone to know about that, I realize, since it's just something that happens. But I just feel really, really shitty right now as a result of having had to listen to it - this house is a rental property with only one floor and no soundproofing between rooms, so everything that goes on is heard - and I have done since the argument ended (whenever it did, I lost track).

I am extensively going to search for other places to be than this passive-aggression-filled cesspool of emotions of a house I'm stuck in right now. Whether it's a job, or uni, or some other way of getting myself out of the house and away from my functionally-retarded family, I don't care. The time I spend alone in the house when everyone else is out is the best time I've spent recently. I eat everything, play piano, sing songs and monologue mindlessly to my heart's content, without the fear of being heard or judged by others. I realize I probably won't get to do that often, particularly when my later life comes around, so I really try to savor it.

Is it weird to absolutely love to a stupid extent the idea of being completely alone, that you're in an isolated-enough situation where your actions are neither seen by nor affect anyone in the entire universe?

To your last point, no. I'm going to assume you are an introvert. A person with a rich inner life who prefers to have a close circle of acquaintances and a closer circle of friends. There are many advantages to having this trait in a business/educational setting. People will listen to what you have to say because you don't fill everyone's ears with small talk or display questionable judgment every chance you get. Being detached has its advantages; namely you don't rush into wasting money/resources or advising your employers to make frivolous expenditures. In an educational setting it's more difficult because western universities subscribe to the "group think" ideal, causing them to value group work, joining extracurricular activities, and anything that falls under the category of "getting involved".

When people around me enter into meltdown mode is when I personally have to bring out my extroverted qualities. This involves speaking in multiple sentences, holding someone's mental hand as I walk them through my train of thought, assuring them along the way that I'm not 100% detached from the crisis but would prefer to calmly see all the bases get covered without forgetting anything.

In my opinion you should take selected passages from the posts here and prepare a brief statement to present at those maligned family meetings.